how do i stop crying

[Matchy69]

I feel so alone,i dont have many friends or anyone who wants to know what i am going through.I just find my self just breaking down and crying.I just want some one to listen and not to judge me.

[Mum52]

Hi Matchy

So sorry to hear things haven't gotten any better for you. When you've been  like this before was there anything that made things a little better? Maybe something you enjoy doing? Do you have a doctor you can talk to? Maybe you could call Beyond Blue I'm sure nobody will be judging you. Take care.

[Matchy69]

Hi Mum52 not much really helps only time.Talking doesn't as nothing can be fixed.I just know with my age and health that being happy will never happen again.I stuffed things up as usual.I did start with high hopes in my early 20s and now know many years later that not everyone ends up happy.

[Mum52]

Hi Matchy

I think the sad truth is most people don't end up happy. I think a lot of people just pretend to be. I think if we can just have the occasional times when we feel happy we can hopefully get through the rest of the times when we aren't happy. I hope you can find some things that can give you times when you at least don't feel unhappy.

It is always your choice to talk about things or not. But if you want to talk please know you won't  be judged here.

Take care.

[sbella02]

Matchy69,

I've just joined this thread so I'm still catching up, but my heart breaks for you, I'm so sorry to hear that you're still struggling.

It sounds like you're carrying a lot of guilt, which can really dampen even the most joyful experiences. Perhaps you've been carrying this guilt for a while, about a range of things.

If you would feel comfortable approaching a GP, therapist, or psychologist about how you're feeling, their professional insights may be really meaningful for you.

This is probably really easy for me to say as somebody in my 20s, but I don't think that's necessarily true, that most people end up unhappy. I have met a lot of people who are double, even triple my age who are really happy, and I've spent a lot of time asking them about the things in their lives that give them hope and make them joyful. Their insights may be useful here, so I'll integrate them with my own.

One thing that can help if you're looking for small ways to find joy in your life is reflecting on good things that have happened on a particular day, or in a specific week. You don't necessarily have to write them down or journal about them (even though I'm such an advocate for journalling), but this can be helpful too. Just thinking about them and reflecting can also be just as helpful.

So, what are some things that may have gone right for you this week? It can be the smallest thing, like the sun was out, or you made it somewhere on time, or saw a pretty flower that reminded you of a happy memory. 

Another thing that can bring you a lot of joy is connecting with other people who are of a similar age or have similar interests to yourself. It may be worth having a look online into local groups that you may be interested in joining (either online or in person), if that would be something you'd be open to. Facebook can be really good for this. Volunteering is similar in the sense that you can meet people who may also have similar interests and experiences, whilst also revelling in that sense of community that can be so comforting if you're feeling lonely.

If you want to talk some more about how you're feeling, we're here to listen and support you without judgement. You can share as much or as little as you'd like.

Take care, SB

[Matchy69]

Hi sbella02 thanks for your reply and kind words.I just feel like as I get older fast .It seems the older you get the years go by quick.That I have lost all chances at being happy.I am sure people are happy as I know I have been for brief periods.Even if not to be so sad and cry as much as I do would be something.When younger I had dreams like most people but now older realise these dreams are gone now.Aging isn't fun when your health deteriates and their is no one for support or just hold my hand.

[TrueSeeker]

Hello Matchy

I'm so sorry that you're feeling like that. Yes, years can go by, become decades and then decades go by and then we stop and start wondering where it all went. I'm so sorry that you haven't had the life that you wanted and dreamed of. It all can seem so unfair that we didn't get what we thought we would get and deserved.

I hope that you'll feel better soon and I'm sorry again that you're going through all this 💙

[sbella02]

Matchy69,

I can see how that would be challenging for you, and I can see why you feel like you have lost the chance to be consistently happy, especially if you feel like there is limited support around you - that's really tough.

Just know that we're here for you throughout it all, and I know that virtual support does not necessarily always have the same impact as real-life support for some people, but I hope it can give you some reassurance to know that there are people listening who are looking out for your wellbeing.

It sounds to me like you could really benefit from having a few people to catch up with routinely about life and other things. Are there any people in your life who you see regularly, or semi-regularly? How do you generally keep yourself busy? Are there any places that you frequent, or any groups you're a part of/would consider joining?

If you'd like to share, I'd also love to hear more about the dreams you had when you were younger. You definitely don't have to share if you don't feel comfortable. But if you do feel like it, please feel free to share as much or as little of your story as you'd like. We're here to listen regardless. 😊

SB

[Matchy69]

Hi sbella02 I think my think my dreams are so long ago that they they don't matter now.Many years ago when I was 22 I met girl in an unusal way and we fell in love but she got a melanoma and lost her battle.A long time ago now but she will always have a special place in my heart.I usually don't tell anyone about her as I don't want that memory be ruined.Not even my ex wife knows about her.

[sbella02]

I'm so sorry for your loss, Matchy69. That sounds like it would've been incredibly hard on you. It makes sense why you'd want to keep that special memory private, in the interests of savouring how precious that connection was for you.

Were these dreams about your career, or about who you'd become, or maybe how you saw your life playing out when you were younger? Once again, you definitely don't have to share, but if you would like a space to write them all out and reminisce, feel free to do it here.

[Matchy69]

Hi sbella02 I sorry I haven't replied for awhile,I have been in a motorbike accident and am in some pain with broken bones.I will have a few more weeks of recovery hopefully with some better movement.

Always thankful for your kind words and support.