how do i stop crying

[Matchy69]

I feel so alone,i dont have many friends or anyone who wants to know what i am going through.I just find my self just breaking down and crying.I just want some one to listen and not to judge me.

[Matchy69]

Hi Briony I had a bit of a busy day with the kids they had an appointment and bought some lunch and did a little bit of shopping.At least that took my mine of things.They will go back to their mothers before school starts on wenseday next week.I am wondering what sort of things help you take your mine of things? Do you have hobbies and interest that you like to do.I know they can be a struggle to do while you are struggling.I have a couple of things I like doing.I like gardening especially growing vegies and fruit trees and like anything to do with motorbikes riding them and restoring them and spending time with my kids.It would be nice if I could fully enjoy things but it is a struggle.I wonder of they ever miss me or think of me and all the nice things I did for them or do they just hate me.I feel it is to hard trying to make friends and then just lose them.I don' think I can go through that again.

I hope you can find something that you can enjoy even if it' just for a moment in the day.

Tark care,

Mark.

[Matchy69]

Hi Sarah I might have stumbled across another project bike I could do not exactly what I want and not as good as the other one but it will do and hopefully take my mind of things.the kids go back next Wendesday so these holidays flew by and didn't really do mu h in the end.I hope the chicken curry turned out for your daughter.Since I have had my gallbladder removed I struggle to eat hot and spicy food.I don't know if it has anything to do with that.My mum use to make chicken Currys a lot growing up in winter.
Take care ,
Mark.

[B_W_]

Hi Mark,spending time with your kids must be a great distraction 🙂 I have a nephew due in July so I am hanging for that little ray of sunshine.

I have always struggled with hobbies and finding things I love / am good at haha though I have been enjoying my gardening lately too! I have a tomato plant I am trying not to kill, it’s my first time trying to grow fruit/veg.

everything seems to remind me of my friend at the moment as he was really encouraging me to do more things I love like hikes in the bush and going to the beach. I know it will get easier soon though.

today I am just going to try and be productive and do some cleaning and organising at home. A cluttered space is a cluttered mind!

I hope you have a good day.

take it easy,

Briony

[Matchy69]

Hi Briony I understand about trying to do things and it reminding you of your friend.That happens to me all the time.Maby one day it won't be so hard.
My Tomatoes have been bearing since the beginning of December and still bearing.I will start cleaning my beds up soon and get them ready for a winter crop.A nephew for you will be exciting for you.You will be a great aunt for him.He will bring you some joy into your life.
Take care,
Mark.

[B_W_]

Hey Mark,

please do not at all feel obligated to answer whatsoever ever but if you don’t mind me asking, how long has it been since you last spoke to your friend?

Yesterday I thought I felt better and today is ten times worse.

I am just so sick of crying. I do that a lot anyway but it’s the torture of wondering that I cannot deal with

When does it get easier

[Matchy69]

Hi Briony the last time I spoke to my friend was September 18 2019.I remember the date so well as it would have been my mother's birthday.I was feeling depressed thinking about my mother and then lose my friends friendship.I wish I knew when it would get easier.It sort of slowly does but still have bad days and don't think their is a day goes by I don't think of her and miss her friendship.
Take care,
Mark.

[B_W_]

Thanks for sharing Mark and I’m sorry this has happened to you. Wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

I just keep trying to think that maybe they weren’t the people we thought they were and maybe it really says something about them. We aren’t horrible people so it can’t be all of our fault. I just think humans can be cruel.

Anyway, fingers crossed for a good day tomorrow!

thanks again.

take care

Briony

[Matchy69]

Hi Briony the thing that hurts me the most was my friend saying I was the nicest guy she had ever met and how sweet I was.So many people say that yet I am all alone with no friends.I do have autism and depression with severe anxiety.It is so hard for me to make friends.I was the one in school everyone teased.Despite all this I am a good person

[B_W_]

Hi Mark, I totally get that. I feel like I don’t really trust what people say anymore.

I do believe though that at the end of the day they are still not as great as we thought they were. Your friend, like mine, are obviously missing something. Compassion mostly.

this is why I like animals so much, more than humans. they are non judgemental, forgiving and love you no matter what mood you’re in

It doesn’t make me miss him any less but I’m just repeating to myself that he is not the person I thought he was and I don’t need someone like that in my life. Better off alone with my cat.

I have suffered with depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember and it’s so exhausting. People that don’t understand or at least try and support us are uneducated or just ignorant.

I hope I can bring you some sort of support like you have for me the last few days.

take care 🙂

Briony

[Matchy69]

Hi Briony I have a cat to she came with the house when I bought it.I thought it was a stray as it was starving so I adopted it.I found out it was one of my neighbours who didn' want it anymore and stopped feeding it.So sad.

I always had a dog and we had cats growing up.My cat reminds me of a dog she follows me around when I am outside.Lays under a bush and watches me when I am working in the vegie garden.

You are bringing me great support and I didn't know if anyone else would be suffering a similar problem like me.I feel like I am not alone with my thoughts and sadness.

Tale care,

Mark.