FESTIVE SEASON STRUGGLES

[Doolhof]

Season's Greetings everyone.

We have a lovely cheery Christmas and New Years thread started up in the Social Zone. Hope you can drop by there and share some joy and happiness.

This is the alternate thread, where you can share the not so pleasant memories of Christmas or the concerns you may have for Christmas 2016.

For me, my depressive brain decides to hassle me about Christmas in November! That is so unnecessary! I need to break this habit!

So on this thread you can share the negative and hopefully find a positive at the end.

You might like to share what the worst present was that you ever received, or how sad and miserable you are at Christmas.

By sharing, we may well be able to help and support each other through a time that can be very tough for some.

This is the place to vent, the thread on the Social Zone is also waiting for you to add your happy thoughts and memories of Christmas and New Years.

Thinking of you all, hugs from Mrs. Dools

[Shred1106]

Thanks Mrs Dools for your thoughts on what I might be able to do over Christmas while away.

Nights like tonight I absolutely despise. I remember that I had my soulmate with me for nine great years and then, because I suggested he follow work south, he had the car accident which took his life.

Neither family was happy about us in the first place so I had to sit at the back of the church during his service. I never really got to say my own goodbye. I miss him more each day.

Mum died after a long battle with cancer and it was kind of a relief for me.For most of my life we never got along but we did have a few months before she died when it was ok.

Even though I have moments when I feel alright, I turn around and realise there isn't anypne here with me. Sure, I have my animals, but they can't talk to me..

I was supposed to attend a Christmas function tonight but pulled the pin at the last minute - finding it harder to be with a large group of people just now.

Please let it get better soon, I am so over it all

So..really mixed feelings right now, but I felt like venting.

[Doolhof]

Hi Richard,

The Christmas shopping frenzy is a bit like watching sharks feeding! Ha. Ha.

My husband used to love shopping in Rundle Mall in Adelaide at Christmas time. Just the crowds had me in a panic attack mode.

Being bumped, pushed, trod on, battered by shopping bags filled with stuff people probably didn't even want, hit in various body parts by rolls of Christmas paper sticking out of bags, hearing Christmas carols about snow when it was 40 degrees in the shade, hearing exhausted kids crying, oh yes, the joy of Christmas!

As you mentioned you are going to be alone this Christmas, would you consider dropping in and helping with a Christmas Day luncheon or would you prefer to just stay away from anything Christmas?

If you did the lunch thing, you might find some joy and pleasure in the day, or you might hate it. Thing is none of us know until we try these things.

Either way, I hope you have some plans for the end of December that bring some happiness to you.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

[Xavius]

Hi Mrs. Dools,

I was typing a response earlier but got called away for a job. So I'll try remember what I was writing.

That analogy is spot on. I see zombies pushing through each other.

I know that feeling of having panic attack mode in full force trying to get where you want to be. I once went shopping in a huge shopping centre in Melbourne once. My mistake was going there on boxing day. Everyone was in my personal space, I was in theirs and it was just absolute madness. That was the last time I ever go anywhere on boxing day. A couple nips on the ankles from shopping trollies too and many death glares.

I hate Christmas carols. I used to work in Chermside shopping centre in Brisbane a while ago. I think they only had 12 songs to play, all day every day. Ugh. They tend to over-do it a bit. I do used to Christmas shopping early in the year.

I'd love to help with a luncheon, but it's something I've never done before. I have had a back injury for just over a year now and standing for more than 15 - 20mins is difficult. Even when doing the dishes at home used to be a huge chore. Now I just wash it as I use it and don't let it pile up till the evening. I'd rather be around people than be alone, as I don't trust myself enough, especially not on Christmas day. It's the day my father died and it's something I'll never forget, although we never got along.

I usually just play my instruments when it feels like I'm about to slip further into the chasm.

Hope you have a wonderful time.

Richard

[Elizabeth CP]

I haven't done Christmas in July. I guess I worry about what people think so doing another 'Christmas would add more stress. Also my husband is more often sick in winter so that adds extra stress. I'm unsure about celebrating my parents. My sister lives OS & my brother is a control freak (lovely person but everything has to be arranged by him otherwise he bails out. My kids are all busy & have very different perspectives/memories of their grandparents so I don't think I'm up to tackling something like a celebration to remember my parents. My MIL died recently & my husband is concerned about his dad as he is very frail.

Sorry it sounds like I'm complaining & making excuses. I have arranged for my kids to visit Xmas eve & I will do salad, fresh bread & ham so I can arrange everything before they come to keep it simple. My DIL will bring a desert & I'll do jelly icecream, mincepies & christmas cake. Hopefully that will be simple so we can focus on time together rather than cooking food

[Hariet]

Hi mrs dools

Sorry but i stumbled across an old message board of urs...

Just wondered how are you and your husband.

And if you ever heard from karen again?

I hope everythings ok

[Doolhof]

Hi Shred,

Venting is okay. If you find it easy to talk to people on the phone, use the phone help line. I have done so int he past and find the people helpful.

Last night I had a bit of a "moment" and ran away from home for a while. I couldn't work out where I wanted to go so pulled over on a no through ride and tried to sleep in the car. When it dropped to about 10 degrees and my back was aching I sheepishly returned home!

If I do that again I will make sure I have enough clothing on and a blanket in the car! Ha. Ha.

Once again, I am really sorry about your friend.

When our babies died, I sometimes bought present for them and put them under the Christmas tree in the shopping centres where they gather gifts for kids.

In some weird way would it help you to buy a gift for a guy and take it to a homeless shelter or maybe to volunteer to help with a meal there. It doesn't have to be for Christmas.

I'm really sorry to read of your struggles. Wouldn't it be wonderful if all the hassles could just disappear!

Thinking of you and hoping you find ways to make life more bearable.

Hugs to you (if you want them) from Mrs. Dools

[Doolhof]

Hi Richard,

I forgot about the shopping trolleys! Ha. Ha.

Boxing Day in Adelaide used to be a time when most of the shops were shut. Our sales didn't start until the 27th or later depending on the day of the week. I am not actually sure if all of our stores are open Boxing Day or not!

Sorry to read your Dad died on Christmas Day. No matter what you thought of him or how you got along, your emotions and thoughts will no doubt be affected on Christmas Day with this memory.

Regarding the Christmas Day volunteering and a bad back, are you able to sit with your sore back? If so, you could sit and chat with people. That is a very important part as well, or just go and enjoy a meal and let other people chat to you.

Can you please tell us what instruments you like to play?

I am still not sure what we will be doing Christmas Day. We will be in a restaurant somewhere. Just the two of us. Guess I am very lucky that way!

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

[Doolhof]

Hi Elizabeth,

A meal that can be prepared easily sounds great to me.

Years ago I had an elderly friend who invited me for an evening meal now and then. As she became more frail, sometimes it was an egg on toast, or a microwaved spud with cheese. The meal wasn't the important thing, being together was.

Hopefully you will enjoy Christmas Eve.

The food you are organising sounds great to me!

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

[Doolhof]

Hi Hariet,

My husband and I are doing okay thanks. We are off to Bali for Christmas to escape the families. Ha. Ha.

Over time there have been a couple of Karen's whom I have been in contact with.

There was one Karen who seemed to be having a dreadful time with her depression. I think she spent a lot of time in her car.

If that is the same Karen, then No, she stopped using the forum.

I often wonder if people are okay or not. There is no way of us knowing if they don't keep in touch.

Do you have plans for Christmas?

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

[Sandy centre]

Dear Mrs Dools

i am really sorry to hear about your awful times you have at this time and want you to know how tough and caring you are

i really appreciate your kind thoughts about infertility. your suggestion about making gifts for small children is wonderful. I can't sew but will definitely be organising some small gifts this year and organise for a charity. We did get 6 weeks pregnant 3.5 years ago with ivf but unfortunately our precious one didn't have a Heartbeat.

Thank you again and take care xx