Feeling down due to fatigue & undiagnosed health issues

[Elizabeth CP]

I haven't been using the forums much apart from a couple of responses to others posts. I stopped as I was too busy & trying to keep up with the forums was becoming too stressful. In September My husband went to Europe which was great although tiring due to the pace of the tour we did. Unfortunately a few days before returning home I fell heavily on concrete steps hurting my right side. I continued on relying on icepacks to manage the pain. I couldn't sleep because of the pain when lying down. The last day I came down with a bad cold which developed into a chest infection later on. The pain eased after 6 weeks & I recovered from the chest infection but have ongoing problems with fatigue & abdominal discomfort. My GP arranged pathology tests. The blood tests are normal but urine isn't. Today I was sent for a ultrasound of kidneys & bladder. Next week I have a gastroscopy & colonoscopy. My stress levels seem to be escalating out of proportion each time I see the GP & get sent for more tests. Prior to my accident my mental health issues were settling down but the last week it is much worse. I have lost my temper a few times in the last week without much provocation. This is not normal for me. I have been on a diet for several months but I am now finding it really hard to stick to it I just want to go & eat food I know will make me feel worse. The diet is a healthy one which I normally find easy to stick to because the food is satisfying.

I just want to get back on track & feel in control of my life & not feel so stressed & down. I also feel guilty for feeling this way because There is no confirmation of a serious illness.

[Elizabeth CP]

Thank you Quirky. My psych is also pushing me to get respite. The problem is the effort of arranging it. I did have a short break during lockdown but the stress of organising it and worrying if Id get stopped by the police made it extremely stressful. Unfortunately my hsb became seriously ill just after I go back which undid all the good it did. I will try again in a month but we have too many appointments and things happening at the moment. He needs to be more stable before I can leave him without me. Even in hospital nurses expect me to look after him and tell them what he needs. They got upset when I had a break to get something to eat so the hospital staff had to look after him

[demonblaster]

Hi Elizabeth and everyone ☺

So much on hey. I'm so sorry hun your poor hubby and you have so much to deal with.

It sounds not at all fair or right about the nurses getting upset when you left for tea. That'd be the last thing either of you need. If memory serves your dear hubby has a rare illness. I wonder are the nurses versed with this condition. Thinking they may feel inadequate or a bit nervous not that that's helping you people at all

Maybe in your mind you can remember what you used to have pleasure with possibly it could spark something from deep and give you some peace for some time.

I imagine you might have been down that road of calling here or similar do you think tho it might help some shedding of pain. You poor lady being under so much stress. Terrible seeing people suffer isn't. Geez I feel for that poor man too really sounds rough what's going on

I've not a doubt you're giving your hubby the best care you can. You're a good lady looking out for him like you do. Yip understandable not wanting to leave for a rest till he's in better shape. Glad the chest infection cleared up too.

How did you enjoy being an OT Elizabeth. imagine that would be a fulfilling satisfying job. I liked what they did in my nursing yrs when I saw them mostly was then giving elderly some activity and change in their days. We did what we could sometimes dancing or singing but yeah looked like a good job as nursing was too.

I hope youse had some luck getting some form of communication for Mr Hubby It was so nice hearing this OT's an outside the square thinker. Very encouraging. Sounds like he's well suited to the job.

A dear friends giving me a cutting of a lovely Red flower about the size of a ping pong ball not round though its sorta flat and has a velvety look to it either that or I'm remebering wrong but the colours lovely. When I get the name again I'll let you know. You like the garden don't you. I'm not a green finger but by some miracle the plants are alive well just a little frazzled 😄

Ok hun you're definately not alone here I just wish things could be easier for you both.

Care thoughts and well wishes good lady and hubby ☺

⚘

[Elizabeth CP]

I miss being an OT. It could be stressful at times but lots of satisfaction. Entertaining the elderly was before my time. I worked a lot in rehab helping people learn ways to overcome the problems they encountered due to age illness or injury. Seeing the difference made inpeoples lives was great. Only the health professionals that work closely with hubby understand his condition because it is so rare

[demonblaster]

Hi darl and everyone ☺

It sounds like you have some really good memories of a very rewarding job. Good on you for what you did and the fact that you enjoyed it so much tells me you would have been good at what you did.
You made a positive difference in peoples lives and still do you care for your husband and have really good input here. I always like reading your posts. Truth.

I nursed a few mths in a rehab unit and very much enjoyed it in a different role to yours with similarities though like teaching the use of various aids and ways to make life easier for people.
It was nice as you felt too being a part of seeing good change for people in hard times.

I like the varied aids out there to assist which no doubt are improved and better now days with technology.
Love the minds of inventors.

I imagine it'd be a great comfort that some of the health professionals have understanding of your hubbys condition.

Elizabeth hun power to you by the sounds you've had a go at doing things you once had pleasure from.
Gently if you don't mind can I urge you not to give up on those things if that's happening because apart from temporary distraction... that spark potentially could return which may not happen if you're not doing the things you once enjoyed poor soul.

One of the hardest and glad to say I'm realising doable things is to slowly... just baby steps is enough for now till you're ready for more at your own pace push through not wanting to.

Especially depression including most mh problems I'd say saps energy.
Sleep deprivation I thinks up there if not the main cause along with poor diet that often go hand in hand. Not saying diet about you lovey just generally speaking.

We know how harshly it affects us mentally/physically.
I've learnt from experience including yesterday when it feels like we have nothing in the tank even in deep exhaustion there's a tinsy bit to draw on. (Not in all cases no doubt)

Movement can draw on some & doesn't have to be intense.
Once walking just from one room to another helped which also gave distraction without at the time being aware I was looking around at other things on the way and being somewhere else created some stimulation that gave a slight edge in deep depression as well.

I hope for you so much that something can help you.

You're a good lady and doing the best you can in very hard circumstances.

Thoughts and care for both of you ⚘

[Elizabeth CP]

Thank you. I have read what you wrote and really appreciate your support and thoughtful advice. I will answer in more details later. Thank you Sorry I'm not up to write any more at the moment

[demonblaster]

Thanks Elizabeth that's completely understandable and quite ok.

Please don't feel any pressure what so ever just when you're up to it.

Hope today gives you even slithers of light giving your mind some reprieve.

⚘

[Bella001]

Hi Elizabeth,

I hope you dont mind me posting here and i havent read through everything, im so sorry for that. Your thread title caught my attention though and then reading your first post as well. I can relate to what you are going through. i have also had to undergo alot of tests too. i thankfully have a diagnosis but its incurable and expensive to treat. i also feel really guilty over complaining about it too but the health conditions make me quite stressed and feel down too. i know how it takes the toll on mental wellbeing thats for sure.

Im sorry i dont really have anything much to say but i do hope that you might be feeling abit better today.

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks Bella and DB.Ihave not much to say as I feel tooexhausted to think

[Doolhof]

Hi Elizabeth,

Just dropping by to say HI and to let you know I am thinking of you and am so sorry for all you and your husband are experiencing.

May you find some thigs to be thankful for today amongst the hardships of life.

Regards form Dools

[Elizabeth CP]

Sorry I'm not replying properly but I really appreciate each of your replies. Knowing people care and try to understand and help/ give advice is really helpful.

We have had so many doctors appointments over the last few weeks wit different specialists and my hsb GP. % doctors appointments in less than 2 weeks apart from other health professionals like speech therapists. Each appointment has been effective with the doctors really understanding the issues we are facing and trying to help. Unfortunately I am finding them stressful because we are having to focus on all the problems my hsb is facing and I need to explain what is happening so I'm focusing heavily on the negative. Necessary toget the help needed but not helpful for my mood. My hsb was supposed to have a test on Mon which I was concerned about. I tried to get as much advice as possible to carry out the prep and follow up as safely as possible. We then saw one of his specialists (we had tried to see him earlier but something went wrong with the appointment) As soon as we mentioned the test my hsb was having he told us it was too dangerous which confirmed my worst fears. This specialist knows my hsb well. He wants him admitted to hospital as soon as possible for a barrage of tests following by the test he thought was dangerous along with another procedure he needs. It will be a lot better in that the staff should know my hsb history and can minimise risks and treat problems. The proposed hospital is a big city hospital with ICU etc so can manage serious complications.

Instead of feeling relieved at the plan which I agree is best I felt stressed and depressed. The only explainaton for my reactio is that it just confirms how bad my hsb is. It also means we have no control as we are at the mercy of public hospitals and when they can get him in. He is still waiting for a different surgery which was supposed to be done in June July but delayed due to covid outbreak.Today was another specialist who also wants so other tests for another issue which is really impacting my hsb. I feel as though I can't plan anything as I don't know when any of these tests procedures etc will happen and how he will recover. The constant stress is too much