DEVASTATED

[Falling_Angel]

Hi i havent been on for a while but im at the end of my tether

im sick of ppl assuming things about my life and then actually making me believe they are honest and true& yet they lie straight to my face especially since i put all my trust in them and thats really hard for me and also,especially since its a obvious misunderstanding on the other persons behalf ????????????????

Im confused,angry ,upset and basically plain devaststed. Why why why ??I try soo hard to please those i care about just to have it slapped in my face... I honestly give up ....!!!!!!!!!!! i really dont think im getting the proper support i need atm and then to have someone close to me run me down and not remember anything ive done for them .. thinkng im just a taker (wow) anyway this person means the world to me and i dont know how to go about working out the problem especially if i feel the replies arent honest omg how did i allow myself to get shattered like this or let myself ....!!and all because of a miscontrude overheard conversation that had nothing to do with this person and also was taken the wrong way,without discussing it with me which would have made it all different omg

anyway guess im asking how do i stop the suicidal thoughts thats are currently and have been for a few days consuming my mind ? i now feel like a noone like ive been put in the same catergory this person sees nearly everyone ? it hurts and im just gob smacked

any suggestions if anyone reads this please?? HELP

[Falling_Angel]

OOOHHH btw glad you are seeing the suicide prevention person . best wishes FA

[startingnew]

Hi FA

thank you of thinking of me, i think about you too

yes pleas do tell what happened to you if your comfortable to, no pressure

yeah id be reworming and defleeing her again, pretty sure worms can cause weightloss and it probably doesnt feel the best in her stomach either

sounds like its her problem not yours i wouldnt be worrying about her and let her come back to you, trust e i know how hard that it is too!

ok so im going on holidays as of tomorrow- wednesday, ill still have reception but prob only at night but ill still chat to you and be thinking of you.

ive organised an appointment to see the nurse who will be performing these tests to ask her questions before i do go for the pelvic exam

and ive got 3 therapy sessions left before im out of the program now

[Falling_Angel]

HI SN its soo good to hear from you apperently a cpl of my posts were not allowed on your thread so i found out via email so where am i supposed to post on your thread that covers all the topics we talk about ?

enjoy your holidays i really do hope i hear from you im severely depressed today hard to get out of bed even, i wont say much atm because i dont want to bring u down .i just hope your doing better and have support with your tests coming up??

plz do let me know how u go its bad enough being 20 let alone with all the issues you have atm ..im going to lay down today has been cancelled for me take care talk soon i hope -hugs- FA

[startingnew]

Hi FA sorry your feeling like crap. i definently know that feeling.

ok so my thread is called not coping after disclosure. your more than welcome to reaad through the thread and comment as you please.

sometimes the mods wont approve what you write if its offensive or really detailed to others..

you can talk to me about anythign you like FA dont let nything stop you, it a priviledge that you trust me to disclose some of the things and have a conversation with me.

i seen dolphins on my walk today and being out in nature is good.

i not only have to deal with SA and another PTSD event, social phobia, health anxiety, severe gad and severe depression, ive got those tests and also dealing with mild scoliosis that needs constant treatment otherwise i really hurts me and limits me, ive got a neck thing going on think its still lingering whiplash and injruy from from i fell off my horse, i need 6 monthly checkups for my eyes as they thoguht my retina was going and my eye sight is crappy, as well as an old ankle injury which wasnt treated properly and shouldve had surgery but never did so now it wont ever heal and its 2 torn ligaments and a tendon in my ankle so yeah its so much fun.

[startingnew]

i dont have supports for the upcoming tests except for the lump just not the pelvic exam as im too embarrassed about it and also if i told people then i would have to tell my life story and i dont want to tell anyone about the SA so ive only got the my gp and my womens health nurse that know about the upcoming pelvic exam. ive organised to have a chat to the nurse on the 1st of may to discuss a few more things about the exam

id like to know more about how your doing now though FA hugs back to you, i know its tough, make sure you incorporate soem self care in there as well

[Falling_Angel]

hey SN great to hear from you , im unwell again and apperently nothing i do is going to be good enough for particular ppl to leave me alone and let me have my say about my life and how things have affected me if i started from the begining then it would be a whold differenet story but im trying to let sleeping dogs lie as its not helping me .... i just wonder how many ppl get sucked in... and privacy where is my privacy ?? anyway im not sying anything else i need to make a new account , take care thinking of you fa

[Falling_Angel]

im sorry i totally dismissed what you had said ...my bad ... geez you and i sound like a good team im flling to pieces also got a bulging disc on my L4 root nerve a spur in my shoulder and well lots of other stuff will talk in more detail later im a mess atm really wish u the best xo -hugs-

[startingnew]

AWW FA sending you lots of hugs and love to make you feel better

i do understand where your coming from, if you decide to make a new acocunt just let me know its you somehow if not stay as you are, your allowed to be here just as much as anyone else- can you just get admin to chane your name instead of creating a whole new account?

looking forward to hearing from you- Falling to pieces parnter lol

[Falling_Angel]

i just want to continue as is from now on im not paying attention if anyone has a problem with me then they should take it up with me personally.............its immature and imaginary (what they saying)so thanku SN for standing by me when noone else will i appreciate it nd look forward to hopefully some good posts about your holiday hope u are ok and look after yourself partners in falling to pieces but picking them back up and building it high and strong chow try for sleep thanks again SN -HUGS- XX

[startingnew]

Aww FA

Its ok. I quite enjoy talking to you and im gad your not leaving.

Im also proud of you that your holding strong and not worrying about these stupid comments. Good for you! !!

Hugs and hugs and hugs back to you FA

Ill tell you abit more about my holiday abit later tonight when i can access my computer as im on my phone atm

Chat later