Hi CMF & Quercus,
Thanks for your replies. It was so nice to see you both still actively using these forums. I was hoping so because I had missed being on here and writing to you and everyone else.
It's been a rough 8 months. From very high happy things to very low things. Christmas was a nightmare as it was my first Christmas alone and I love Christmas and just hit some very dark spots mentally. I actually posted a long status on New years eve sort of coming out to my friends and family about my mental health battles, I recevied a lot of positive feedback and so many people including my sisters reaching out saying they had no idea. The old Smile can hide so much. An old friend reached out right away and she has kept in touch since. What I am struggling with mostly is the fact all my close friends and family saw it and have not followed up one bit. It was my way of reaching out for help in a way and saying I am not ok and I cannot keep doing this myself. Other than the quick "Chin up" you'll be ok remark on the day. Nothing since. I am trying very hard and reading back to my posts from early last year. Feels like nothing has changed at all. My divorce will get finalised at the end of this month so that chapter will be closing.
Just trying to keep my head afloat and work my way out of this because it honestly feel like there isn't much support coming my way other from a few selected people.
This is the battle when you're everyone else's hero. They don't like it when Superman becomes Clark Kent because when you're Superman you're solving their problems. When you're Clark kent you want help solving yours and that is just too hard for some people.
Thank you again for giving me time to talk. I have missed you both.
My best,
Jay
