Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Ggrand]

Hello Hanna, Debi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 and everyone....🤗..

Thank you Hanna...

My Working week is over and it has been so busy....Hanna hmm... I often discount a lot of things at work...Betty works with me out front and she does the same....We are not allowed to do that.....but when people come in and are struggling with no jackets, blankets, jumpers etc...I think to myself that these clothes are donated...so I try my hardest to help those I have gotten to know, who are really struggling....I know I’m doing the wrong thing...but I cannot justify the high prices that have gone onto these clothes since a new corporation has become the leading shareholders in this “Charity”..money..money money is all they are interested in....The 2 days Betty and I work we bring in more $’s then the other 3 days in total....because the people know that they can barter with us 2...😁..

Certain things, trigger me down in a split second, leaving me in a state of depression and confusion...I can’t stop that from happening...it happens before I even know it has...I’m not sure if you understand or know what I’m talking about...with my triggers..

My heads above the water now..thanks to everyone’s helpful, wise and caring posts...Thank you again everyone...you all are amazing friends...

Deebi, I hope you’re feeling a bit..,well a lot better both physically and mentally...and your headache 🤕 has choofed off....sending you much big love and hugs with my care,,💙🦋🌹🕊🧸🤗🦄👼..

My love, care and hugs to everyone listening here..💚🌹🤗.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

[Hanna3]

Hi Grandy & Deebie and everyone

I'm sorry about those things that trigger you and make you unhappy... I hope you are feeling a bit better now Grandy...

Yes a lot of people are unhappy about the costs of a certain op shop here... I didn't know that was the reason... but they have competition as there is another op shop in this town that is much, much more affordable, and now everyone is going there... hooray!!!!

I handed in some nice crockery and glassware today as I don't want or need all these things... I hope someone else gets enjoyment from them... it feels nice to give things away...

I have been chatting with a nice friend who has her first pet dog now after years and years in rentals where she couldn't have a pet dog... she just managed to buy a little house - that she will never pay off... but she can have a dog - she has a sweet female dog who she loves so much - and two cats.. that were rescued... so she has a happy little family now, for the first time, its nice!

Sending big hugs, I am off to bed, it's freezing cold here Grandy - I hope you and your furs are keeping warm and snug.. and I'm glad you help people out who are poor and struggling - that isn't wrong, it's kind!

Big hugs! oxoxoxxooxox

[mmMekitty]

Suddenly it's late, & I was tired 4 hrs ago... but I just had to drop off these

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️s for anyone who might like to have some - free of charge!

mmMekitty

[demonblaster]

Hi there dear Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 Hannah 🐕 kitty 🐺 & all ☺

I'm so pleased how it turned out Grandy love that the moo only works Weds now. Strange that she turned sour. Maybe some serious rot going on that she can't handle still doesn't mean it's acceptable to put her problems onto others and in a nasty way too. People... well a lot

I was so thrilled thinking good she's back at the counter. Just loven that because not only are you meeting new people and having good relations with but also being amongst people that's so hard for you. Things are meant my/our dear Grandy. You're a trooper hun 💜

Fully agree with Hannah oh and hi back darl 👋 (yes getting there slowly thanks for your concern ☺) that you're being kind. That's the true meaning of charity which is about helping people. I noticed a certain one as well in bigger places has ramped the $. Pfftt. Good job they're going to the cheaper one at Hannahs area.

So so good hearing your heads above water well done sss. It can be hard work although worth it to be able to breathe again. You've had a succession of blaghhs over a while now, let's hope you're due for a good run.

Grandy lovey thanks for the news about your heart 💜 just wish it didn't have so much pain and stress to contend with but good news it's not worse. Septembers good I like knowing you're by the sounds in good hands and them keeping an eye on you is v.comforting.

Darlin I was thinking about you getting embarrassed with compliments. I do know how hard that is to deal with well. Was in my teens. Mine was being super self conscious and didn't have to be a compliment geez awful isnt it.

Do you know why you feel embarrassed lovey which might make it easier to work out how to handle it 🤗

Think I'll jump back in bed in a mo keep getting up too early with physicals aghh

Are you getting good rest now darlin I hope.

Ok dear people and of course my dearest Grandy floss sending so much 💜🗯💫😚💗⚘ always 🤗

Good days lovely ones 🌞

[Ggrand]

Hello Hanna, Deebi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, mmMeKitty, Paws and everyone.🤗.

Thank you all for your caring and understanding posts...

Work really is a lot better now...instead of going in on Tuesday to listen to someone putting everyone down...and being nasty...We now do what needs to be done in harmony.

It’s been hard for me...working out the front...I do enjoy working out the front some days.,,then other days when for some unknown reason I feel scared of having people contact...I do get by...by going outback to help the girls sort...until I am needed to serve out front..”Betty” doesn’t want to learn the till...so I am needed to ring up the sale..

Deebi, I think that it’s the millions of time I had to compliment my husband, to stay safe even though he was wrong or he hurt me....(it was always my fault to him).(which I’m learning it wasn’t)......so to stay and feel safe I learnt that a nice compliment to him would mean he would feed off it and leave me alone...then theirs the fact that my children had started to do the same....also when he was in the band..he would say how crappy he played just to hear those words of praise...your playing great, your an awesome player, compliments from his band mates, and his friends who when they could hear the change in husband voice..would immediately start agreeing with him, apologising to him and then praise him even though they knew he was wrong...

Now it’s hard to accept any compliment, maybe because I used them in the wrong content they are supposed to be used for...looking back I now see that I used them in a manipulative way...and that was so wrong...Then again it was to keep my children and me as safe as possible...I done it because I knew no other way...

Hope everyone has a great day today...and stays warm..

Much sss love to you bbff...💙..with my care and soul hugs..🌹🕊👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

Much love to everyone with hugs and care..💜🌹🤗.

Grandy..

[mmMekitty]

Hello Grandy,

how you doing? I see you have got out & mowed the lawn. In these cold months it doesn't need mowing so much. Just wondering, is that a good thing or not?

I've read how it is at the op shop, & am reminded when I worked for a sheltered employment/welfare group, (which seemed to be corrupt to the eyeballs), & I worked in their second-had shop, selling all manner of things, donated, bought at auction or through private sale.

I was 2nd in charge, but had very limited discretion. I was uncomfortable with haggling & with being responsible for many hours because my boss, the manager, was out, either at these auctions or buying items from people, or off doing something else I won't talk about here.

I was also expected to supervise & 'look after' some people from the main sheltered workshop's centre. No training, no info about the people & whatever needs they might have... & a few refused to me being their boss.

I was given the task of pricing the donated clothes, crockery, books, records/cassettes/CD, & had only a limited amount I could discount on any furniture or electrical.

Everything for sale was on the same premises. It was too much for me to be also expected to watch for anyone trying to steal anything, as well as my other responsibilities. My boss told me some things from his own past experience, but I would not call that training.

Since he was away, I felt the responsibility more & more. I'm sorry I didn't have your sense of when people were in need, they need compassion & a little help, & how much a jumper or an old blanket may have meant.

I didn't see most things that were taken, but when things were noticed to be missing - I'd not done my job, & had let my boss & the organisation down, no matter the corruption which went right to the top.

Now I wish I had taken the initiative & had had a better heart & mind at the time.

My boss, also, didn't like when I would talk to some customers, as though they were people, too. He even pushed me to some he didn't want to deal with, because these were people beneath him, & who needed someone to talk to.

In the end, though, I was suppose to sell things. & be the one he relied on to look after things so he could go & do what he wanted more & more.

There was no help when I needed, so I finally left, with them pleading for me to stay on anyway.

Long time ago now.😺

I notice the pricing & once asked. "See, it's the brand name" they replied. Only another excuse to up the price, I think.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

mmMekitty

[Ggrand]

Hello MmMeKitty, Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 and everyone...🤗.

I think I can say mowing my lawn is an achievement for me...it’s a big yard and takes 2-3 hours mowing it...

We have a manager, not a shop manager but an area manager who works out of a much bigger shop and doesn’t come to our shop much at all....

The co-ordinator for Wednesday- Friday as well as myself do the pricing, filling the shop with stock and also making the displays look “inviting”....I underprice price things a lot...I put the price that I would be happy to pay if I was to buy it 😁..

We don’t take any stock notes at work so don’t really know if things get taken...except at the end of the day when we might find a pair of broken dirty shoes, that we wouldn’t put for sale...or empty coat hangers on the rails....I just think to myself that, they need those items more then the shop does if they went that far as to take them....In all honestly it doesn’t faze me at all...I know stealing is a criminal offence..but these people are not criminals...they are in poor people in need and need these things to stay warm....I feel it’s out of desperation that they do this....

Youre right about the fact that “brand” named clothes do have a higher price then the other clothes, shoes, bags etc...Hmmm I don’t know many brand names...so to me a shirt is a shirt..a dress a dress etc...

If they don’t like the way I run the shop on Monday and Tuesday’s...then they can put me back out back to sort the donations...which I much more prefer..

Hiya Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Hanna, Paws, and everyone else...I really hope your day today is a good day...even though it’s really cold...Stay warm beautiful friends..

Much love bbff, and I do hope you are doing the best you can...many 💭 with my care..💙🦋🦄👼🤗🤗.

My care, love and hugs everyone..🦋💜🤗.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

[Hanna3]

Hi Grandy and Deebi and everyone

Mowing the lawn sounds like a huge job - are you exhausted after you've finished? I know I would be! I think you're amazing to manage it, so well done you!

Your work at the store sounds busy and quite demanding. It's nice that you try to keep prices down and that you "turn a blind eye" at things missing sometimes - yes sometimes people are desperate... and it's demeaning to have to beg... I can understand why they might sometimes do that.

I handed in two lovely cups, saucer and plate sets to the op shop.. I have had them for years, they're lovely, but I no longer want to have to look after them and carry them around if I move.. and I only use pretty casual crockery now.. they have put them in the front display window on the street - I think I might look tomorrow and see what they are charging for them!!!

I bought the nicest little brown teapot for one... now I have my evening cuppa using it, it's so much nicer than just a teabag in a cup...

I got a lovely ottoman at a big second hand furniture place out of town... it's a really good one and it cost only five dollars - the place is run by a local church and they are careful to always ask well under retail prices.

I think lots of people were spending a grey bleak Sunday clearing out their closets - there were so many bags of things lined up outside the closed Vinnies shop late today... trouble is if it rains they all get ruined. They are often so full up here that they don't take donations for days at a time...I never leave things outside like that and just keep them in the car boot until they are open for donations again.

You are doing good work Grandy and it's a credit to you that you continued on when at times you were close to giving up at the store... I am so impressed that you managed to go on and have done as well as you have done. I wish I could give you a High Five, I'll have to send you a virtual one!

Big hugs! oxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

[Hanna3]

Hi Grandy, at the local op shop today - the expensive one - they had a dinner service for sale, a vintage Sheridan one, for six hundred dollars... I googled it and the most I can see it go for online is four hundred dollars...

Gracious!

BTW, I love how you describe nature on the other thread - your description of the scenery and roos and the winter is just beautiful, I think you should do more writing, you have quite a gift Grandy, did you know?

Hugs oxoxoxoxox

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Hanna, Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...and everyone....🤗..

Monday morning..well each morning the Vinnies blue bin needs emptying...on Monday, being after the weekend, many occasions the donations have been left in front of the blue bin because it’s been filled up..

The donations left on the ground are always scattered around the local area by people going through them..l remember once, that some donation bags were taken across the road in a little alleyway and the donations were thrown all over the place and smelt horrible...Once the donated clothes are found on the ground we are not allowed to sell them...they are immediately thrown away for the public’s safety....

The prices on some items are ridiculous...I know the other days co-ordinator does a google search if she thinks it an antique..or if it’s a high end brand...sad really isn’t it?

My brother rang me yesterday afternoon to tell me that he is leaving his home at 10pm to visit mine and he should arrive sometime Friday night or on Saturday...he is driving down and it’s over 2,200 kilometres....I hope nothing happens this time....he has big boxes of his things, that he asked me to store for him on his last visit to me...last year..just before he took of on his house hunting trip to Queensland gosh I hope nothing goes wrong for him this time...

I need to go into town today to get something nice to cook for him, while he is at mine....Last couple of times I’ve ventured out shopping on my own..there have been a lot of people saying hello to me and want to talk as well..I don’t know these people by name, they know mine from work....I’m not comfortable with this....now I’ve gone back to scanning all around me, when I’m shopping, to see if I recognise a face, so I can get out of their eye sight before they see me....It happens to Betty as well...when I asked her if it bothers her....she said no!...

Need to get dressed now and leave...early morning finds the shops with only a few people in them....

I hope everyone has a good day today..

Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...I hope that beasty is moving away from you..tell [IT]..to choof away....big love and care always dearest bbff..👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🦄💙👼🧸🤗🕊🌱🌿🌳...and bear hugs..🧸🤗..

My love, care and hugs to everyone 💜🌹🤗.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🕊🌱🌿🌳..