Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy,

You must be able to read minds lass. I was thinking about your pumpkins & how they were going. I wonder if they will re-shoot come spring.

Hopefully all your ouches are behaving themselves & going away.

I'm pleased for you that your first Psych appointment went well & that you feel able to give it 100%. It will take time lass but I do believe you can do this.

I know you have your first DV session tomorrow & that you have been unsure about it. Lass I want you to know I will be sitting with you in spirit tomorrow.

Huggliest of hugs

Paws

[demonblaster]

Vroom ☄cough ..chug.. splutter 💨💨💨 😂 loven that Grandz

Hey bbff 🤗 well I was planning on making a much better entrance than that but my Go Go mobile seems to be a bit sick...do you think sweetness you could have a bit of a 👀 I'd be mighty grateful might even be able to find a 🍫 at Peppys emporium. I gave it plenty of grapes in the exhaust..uh oh..wait up that's for yours isn't it 😶...oops

Sweets just popping in to give you my loving caring support as dear Paws has for today gorgeous.

You're not doing this alone darlz you always have an army next to you 🤝 who you can talk about anything to.

I'm sure too they'll be sure to make sure you're kept an eye on Grandy. We'd assume so.

Hope you're ok today lovey and not to anxious tho of course understandable if you're feeling that way.

Remember our breathing sweety whenever things get a bit ott.

In nice and slow with the flowers ⚘out with the weeds 💩

Always 🗯👀🤝👂and loving you bbff you mean the world to me and I know many others.

Best of honey 🤗😚

👩‍❤️‍👩💜🍫💨✨🌈🕊🦋🦄

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Paws 🐾 and everyone.....🤗..

Thank you for being with me today...it helped..

I was shaking so badly today, really didn’t want to go through with this...

The psychologist is nice...but she speaks to me like I’m a little child..which made me uncomfortable a bit... I’m supposing it’s her way..

Psych...we talked about me today, my likes, my furs, what I do of a day..and said we will slowly build up to my traumas starting next week..it will be up to me to say stop when it gets to hard for me....The visits are 1 hour long...The next one in three weeks, then every fortnight for 20 visits...then more if needed...

On a better note..I’m fur sitting Betty’s fur baby for a week or two she at her sons house for a trial....secretly I’m hoping she doesn’t like it...I know I sound selfish but I have no other friend in town....I won’t tell her that, because I want her to do what’s best for her....Now I have mummy fur and her two daughters...Also I adopted her ex husband bird..it’s a quarian bird..it’s white, grey with a yellow comb...No one else wanted her...who I’ve call “little miss”..being born in a cage it won’t survive outside in the wild..I hate birds being in a cage..but didn’t want it to try and fend for itself....It’s a big cage with room for her to flap her wings around...

Of course I’ll check out your vroom Deebi..it will give me something to do...I’ll clean out the grapes you put in the exhaust 😂 and put your famous weetbix fuel into it..then I’ll put a new faster motor in and a nice loud exhaust that everyone will hear you before you get here..

I appreciate more then you all will ever know your kindness and support you give me...

Love you bbff..💜🦋🤗...keep warm, safe and comfy..Please be okay..always..💭🕊🌱..

My love, care and hugs to you dear Paws, and everyone....💜🦋🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🦄👼...

[demonblaster]

Dear Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 hi all ☺

You are SO welcome sweetyheart always here with you darlin 🤝
Ahh you poor love shaking geez how awful for you 🤗 you go through so much lovey it's not fair at all!
I really hope it was easier than you anticipated.
Darlin I really so sorry you have to go through this you dear lady.

This is new beginnings honey 🌱
Peace and freedom on the other side and you'll be ok cause you've come so far already.

Could be her way the psych but with luck maybe in time she'll settle a bit.
I'm liking it sounds like they're spacing it all out well hun. Hoping that makes it easier darlin I imagine it would. You'll have recooping time and to adjust to what's going on.

Grandy good on you really you're so brave. You really are a trooper going through this.

It'll be such a relief to be able to handle and not feel the thoughts and memories. How good will that be huns. Assuming that's the goal which I imagine it would be.

Oh so a birdy now to y/our family and ohh how cute Mama Kya and Ebony the dear things. Gorgeouses.
I like the idea of a bad thought to pat the loves. Good feelings associated that sounds like good sense.

Oh Grandy I completely get you feeling as you do about Betty.
I'd feel exactly the same 🤗

Oh thanks what a relief you know I hadn't thought of our Weetbix juice geez and that's the go to. Can't believe I forgot.
Hope the grapes haven't turned to wine yet.
Wowsie I'm not going to know myself, might need to get Mr 😍 and I seatbelts on the vroom.

Everyone as you say will know exactly where we are 😅 Vroo...ooo...mmmmm ...who needs GPS 😅

Same goes for you beautiful lovely you're always there for us. It's so nice to be here for you too special lady.

Hope you have a really good long sleep 😴 tonight gorgeous been a big week for you hasn't it

Love you very deeply dear Grandy that'll never change except deepen. Always the best of friends. You're absolute magic sweetyheart 🤗😚

👩‍❤️‍👩💜✨🦋🦄💨🕊🗯🍫👀🤝

[demonblaster]

Heya Gorgeous 👩‍❤️‍👩 and all the lovely people reading and supporting ☺

Sweetyheart how are you doing today 🤗 we just wanted to pop in and pop the kettle on for a lovely catch up and see how you're going.

Uok lovey.

Always in my 🗯 beautiful with love care and eternal friendship the best of 😚

PuAbok lysvm yAdimh wiwip but we do have hope I guess. Not the same though

Hope your days a good one lovey and that you're getting plenty of sleep dear Grandy.

Really love you precious friend 🤗

👩‍❤️‍👩💜🌱🕊🦋🦄 🤝 👀

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, and everyone....🤗..

I’m doing okay bbff...

Had a good nice talk to my younger brother yesterday...It was his birthday...I like talking to him..

Betty rang me last night..she’s coming back on Monday...
I start back at volunteer work on Tuesday week..hours are changed to 10am - 2.00pm...Then half hour cleaning things down, then home...

I need to make a nice cover for my little bird’s cage..Don’t know how to do it...I think I just sat there staring at the material for hours, then gave up...I am hopeless at doing measurements..and designs..maybe I’ll look on professor google😂..

I wish so much that you could come over and pop the kettle on...How wonderful would that be...I would tell you about the cows across the road..sitting under the tree...The 6 parrots that were eating from the feeder..then a few more different birds came..then some more parrots...My front yard was so colourful...I wish you were here to see them....oh and listen to them 😂😂.They got a bit noisey..

I’ve been going to bed between 9-30pm and 11pm..and setting my alarm to wake at 8am....no day sleeps...Trying to get my body clock in order...

I hope you days are good Deebi and everyone...

Love you bbff...always in my 💭 &💜...🧸🤗..One day 👭..hopefully ..

Sending my love, care and hugs to everyone 💜🦋🤗.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...🕊🌱.

[demonblaster]

Hey gorgeous bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 and all 👋

Really good hearing you're doing ok hun.

Oh that sounds lovely you having a good chat to your younger brother he does sound like a good bloke. Was my oldests ones birthday other day too.

How gorgeous the moos 🐄 being there again so cool and the birdies ahh. Oh don't the Parrots screech. Saw a couple playing once was so cute they kinda hopped around.

You're doing so well with your bedding. I want us to get better. Won't be too long before darling goes back to his volunteer work like you Wow Grandz that's not too far off Tues week. It'll be good you being around people again. I know you'll miss Betty but that new girl seems nice.

Hun how's your physical health going?

Oh been wondering if you've been or going to go back to the meditation it seemed you quite enjoyed that. Hope so and you'll be able to see puddy tat again.

Oh loved your cuddles from our furs 🐩🐕🐶🐅 to eachother btw oh they looked so cute.

Ok beautiful lady you have a restful sleep precious friend. Love you to bits darlin you're incredibly important to me and in not only mine but many peoples lives. You're absolute magic honey 🤗😚

👩‍❤️‍👩💜😍🕊💗👀🤝🐄🐩🐕🌱😴

[Doolhof]

Hi Grandy, DB, Paws and all reading,

How are you all doing? There have been so many changes for us all to adapt to this year. It is good that some restrictions are lifting and we can slowly get back in to what ever life has in store for us now.

My sister and I are hoping we can still find ways to go walking once a week or even fortnightly. That is something we had often talked about but never managed to co=ordinate, her working form home made that possible.

Grandy, hope you manage to work out how to make a cover for the bird cage. One thing I used to do was use newspaper to cut out a pattern to work out how something might go together. That way I didn't waste the material.

Sounds like nature is plentiful in your area Grandy. Wish I knew more names for the types of birds that drop by here during the year. Sometimes they are some distance away and I don't see them all that clearly.

Thinking of you all so thought I would drop by and say hello!

Cheers to you all from Dools

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Mrs.Dools 🌷, and everyone....🤗...

Thank you for your posts..

Thats a good idea about the newspaper...Somethink I will try, when I can get some....I don’t ever buy newspapers but I think Betty does..In a way I think it’s moreso no motivation to do it....I want it to magically to appear all ready made....

I really do hope that you can go for walks weekly or fortnightly with your sister...It’s really a lot more fun walking and chatting to someone at the same time..pointing out different things that the other one sees...

I don’t handle change very well...isolation and not having to go out, I found I managed it okay...Now when I go to the shops it’s so crowded again...I just want to be home..In isolation was only a few people..

I am going to meditation tomorrow..I like it Deebi, it’s just so hard to relax...I can’t close my eyes because I always have this feeling that something bad is going to happen to me...at home I’m fine doing it inside..I lay down and listen to the CD they gave me from their...

Physically I’m doing okay...

I don’t know the names of most birds..just the more common ones around my place...I googled the description of them and slowly learnt that way...some libraries have good books on identifying Australian birds...maybe that’s something that you might like to do Mrs. Dools....only a suggestion..

I hope your weekend work went well for you Mrs.Dools..💜.thank you for thinking about us and calling in to say hello...

Sending my love, hugs and care to everyone.💜🤗🦋..

Deebi. Hope your doing okay bbff..Love you sss yadimh always & 💭...🧸🤗👭💜..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...🕊🌱

[demonblaster]

Dear Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 Doolsy hi ☺ and everyone 👋

Sorry Grandy didn't mean not to talk or acknowledge your tweety cage cover. Thought I had it worked out to explain then the more I thought about it uh oh 🙃 Good thinking Doolsy.

Good on you how you worked out which birdies are what. They're lovely aren't they. Most sound great.

Good you're goin well physically.

Poor love with closing your eyes. I wouldn't think it'd be a biggy not closing them there. Loven that you're going. I know you liked it and you'll see puddy darlin. How lovely.

Enjoy yourself beautiful friend. Be nice the time with nice ww.

Wishing you a good refreshing sleep lovely lady.

Always 💜👩‍❤️‍👩🗯

Nice seeing you Doolsy I wonder often how you are lovey ☺

👀👂🤝💗😚🤗🕊

Big love beautiful friend 💗