alone and hated

[christacat]

I am 35 and possibly suffer undiagnosed depression and anxiety, possibly also autisim or asbergers (dont trust doctors or GPS so can't get an official diagnose). Have been told I need meds (too scared to take them), have anger issues, no social skills, am dumb and stupid, hard on myself,  obsessive as well. Have had conselling on and off, haven;t seen one since 2009 after I had a panic attack/meltdown.(she didn't help at all,just smirked at me)

I don't fit in or belong anywhere. All through out primary school and high school, I was bullied alot and got into trouble alot too. I had the odd friend here and there, but no one I could connect to. Would try different hobbies-as i got told by consellors I had back then- but got teased for them and never found anyone on the same wavelength....it is the same today. No matter which site I go to for people who share my interests, or a group in 'real life' I never fit in, am the butt of everyone's jokes, anyone I reach out to just rejects and uses me. Then comes the 'teasing' over my hobbies and interests, that I am obsessive, that my hobbies suck. I had to leave a web site I was at for nearly four years-was just sick of the constant rejection from others and never felt like I fitted in and used by everyone who i thought liked me.. Now yet again I have nowhere else to go and feel lost, losing interest in things, because what's the point? I had no one to share them with. I got slagged off for them all the time, I tried to take pride in them and liked myself, not caring what others think but I still don't have anyone to connect to,  I don't get along with my own age group either, especially with people I work with, they just go on about parties and drinking and barely notice I am around.

I am at a lost at what to do anymore. I worry so much over this, I barely leave the house sometimes (I dont see the point, i have no one to hang out with and i just get teased for being wierd) and feel suicidal on and off. , please don't suggest conselling or meetups.com (had a panic attack two years ago before I was meant to go to a meetup, now the group wants nothing to do with me) or meds.

[The_Real_David_Charles]

Dear Facetious,

Dig out "Taking a Break - David Charles" (13/7/13 update) on the first section if you want the full story.  Does include parenting but won't need a nappy change.  I had to change countries to marry and parent.  It's a big deal for me.  I even had to try and understand what "have you got a chook in your esky" meant.

Getting back to orchestral movie score - Indiana Jones / Harry Potter /  Gorillas in the Mist / Moderators in the Dark (power cut).

Adios, David.

PS  We will always disagree on the (a) Facetious "it's irrelevant that I'm not a parent" and (b) David Charles "the experience of being a parent seems to be vital to discussing parental issues/children".  I think you will appreciate the difference when you are a father.  

[christacat]

I did want to fit in here and find someone to connect to...but I guess like everywhere else this is not the place for me. I don't have alot in common with anyone here.

[S_A_D_]

How do you know you don't have a lot in common with anyone here?

Do you want to know how to fit in?

[luke_c]

Thanks Facetious, yeah I've Tokyo Drift at least a couple of times. The race through the building sites where that blonde guy gets burnt and at end of the movie, down the mountain were my fave bits.

I love Arrow. Here's a question for you ... If his father didn't write the list he's been following, then who did? And why? 

My guess is only the tribesman who looked after Oliver, or some character who will enter the show in the future maybe? Why - to get justice in Starling City and right the wrongs.

The only person I talk openly with is my psychologist, and he's dying of cancer.

That's sad man, it sounds like he was a good psychologist, I wish him well.

I could soon be very alone (more than I already am). I spent most of my birthday (in May) in my bedroom.

When I was in my early-mid 20's I used to stay in my bedroom quite often. It was my first signs of depression, but I find now I can't stay there for long periods (unless I'm sleeping of course), it makes me feel very isolated. I find staying in your bedroom for short periods can be effective if you've had a stressful week and feeling down and want to be on your own for a bit. I have found it can be the place to solve my problems or something positive may come into my mind.

Have you tried depression groups (if there is any in your area)? I find they help me a lot. There's no reason why you should be constantly alone (being alone constantly can be the worst thing for you, try to avoid this). And these are groups where you pay a small amount of money ($5 in my area) and you will be listened to, the facilitators there encourage others to be noticed and heard, I guarantee it.

Think of some your interests, there's bound to be a club or group around. I wasn't into it myself, but I remember seeing the Japanese anime club and groups of people that loved their computer games in classes at uni, they were a unique bunch of people, they used to crack me up, it's like they lived in their own world. They were far from being trendy people.

[luke_c]

there's no need to try to "fit in" with anyone here. Express yourself, say what you want to say (so long as it's not offensive, sticks within the rules of the forum, etc.), there's no need to be tight-lipped about everything. If no one on this forum cared about you, they wouldn't keep persisting with questions and trying to build a conversation.

[luke_c]

Depp played Sparrow in Pirates and I thought he was the best Pirate character ever. Very quirky. Maybe in the film industry some degree of mental instability is a strength. Jim Carrey is also mentally ill, and one of the funniest comedian actors to have ever lived. You'd have to be ill to accept the lead role in Dumb and Dumber. LOL.

Jim Carrey was pretty out there in some his films, Ace Ventura was one his funnier ones from what I remember. Nicolas Cage, he's another one that's pretty out there as well and one of my favourites. I just love it when he starts getting frustrated and starts going nuts shouting out and he also gets into deep thoughts when to listening to songs he likes (when he listens to a CCR (Creedence Clearwater Revival) song in the van in the movie Stolen is an example).

[S_A_D_]

I still maintain the use of classical music in modern popular films is rare, and classical music with vocals in modern popular films is virtually unheard of.

Also, the use of music without vocals, called instrumental music, is not the same as orchestral music. I think I remember someone saying that part or all of Star Wars, James Bond, Harry Potter, and Lord of the Rings had an actual orchestra play their scores for them, but I'm suspicious about whether these other titles included scores with orchestral music tailored for the film or just using an iTunes download (lol). Just my scepticism coming through. 

[christacat]

the thing is, with groups for my interests, I never fit in or members don't like me....I have said this in this thread time and time again...no one seems to understand! Did you read what I wrote about being bullied at art classes? No?

I just get stuck with the putdowns from 'haters' and the people who shared my interests want nothing to do with me...at all ..this is why i am so low. this is why i can't be bothered with having any hobbies anymore. they just cause problems.

[christacat]

I don't think will fit in anywhere, ever.

[S_A_D_]

How do you know you don't have a lot in common with anyone here?

Do you want to know how to fit in?