Words cannot explain grief and loss but I'll try explain my story

[lil quirky]

Hey its lil quirky here,

You may or may not have seen me around in different sections and now this one.

This wasn't too long ago, like a month ago maybe, my dog was getting really old and we all knew it, and my dog was showing it too, she had such a long run, she was 18 so older that me (I'm 17) and I grew up with her my whole life, she had dementia and my family made the decission to put her down so we only had a couple of days left with her so we took that time to give her as much love as possible, I spent her last night with her, and during this long and painful week I still had to go to school because it was a SAC week and I had a SAC every day that I had to attend to.

At the vet I wont go into to much detail here because I'm already drowning in my tears writing this but I saw that green liquid go into her and watch the life drain out of her and I was the last one she saw.

I can just see it my head every now and again it comes back to haunt me, she could have had more time but she may not have been happy and instead suffering and I feel guilty like did we do the right thing, I feel like we did, its just so hard to admit shes gone.

Now here comes another part, we now have a new puppy and the rest of my family I can see are happy and they needed this, but I have mixed feelings, for me I feel it's too soon, but maybe I need this? maybe he will help me cope with this Grieving process, I've never really done it with someone I was so close with.

I am not ok at the moment and so much has happened to me this year that I feel the world is just against me, and I keep asking myself 'can I do it?'

- Kind regards lil quirky

[Ggrand]

Hello lil quirky,

I am so sorry that your beautiful dog had to be put to sleep….I can hear in your words how devastating your feeling…growing up with a pet is so beautiful and we wish our pets can live as long as we do….unfortunately they don’t, which is really sad….the most important thing to remember is that you gave your beautiful dog, your unconditional love and a very happy life…

Please don’t feel guilt about what had to be done….it would have been so sad to have seen your beloved dog suffer any more pain then she had already….Maybe you could make a little memorial garden in her honour, where you could go to remember all the fun times you’ve had together…

You are grieving the loss of your best friend…their is no time limit on grief….just take each day as it comes….I think in time you will love your families new puppy, loving the new puppy doesn’t take away any of the love or beautiful memories you had for your other dog….he will give you another beautiful soul to love…

Here if you want to talk…

My kindest thoughts are with my care..

Grandy..

[Summer Rose]

Hi lil quirky

I’m really sorry for your pain. The grief you feel now is unfortunately how many people feel when they lose a great love. It’s going to take time to feel better, sweet one.
And, in that time, I hope it will comfort you to know that you selflessly gave your dog the greatest gift of all—unconditional love.
You kept her steady when her time came. You kept her from feeling fear in a strange environment. You kept her heart safe in the softest of hands as she passed.

It was an act of great kindness. Please, try to always remember this.

As for the puppy, it could be too soon but maybe not. The thing is, again in time, I trust that you will see that your heart is amazing, strong and big—you can love two dogs. 
I have had three dogs throughout my life. The dog I grew up with (and I too was the one who took her to the vet when her time came), the dog my children grew up with (she died suddenly from natural causes at home at an old age) and the dog who came next to rescue us from incredible grief. This little dog has been with us six years now and she has stolen all of our hearts. But I still love all the others and always will. Hang in there.

Kind thoughts to you

[tmas]

I wanted to reply specifically about the new puppy. When our family dog was getting really sick (sick enough that we knew there wasn't much time left with her), one of my parents brought home a puppy. The rest of us were pretty angry about this, my sister even avoided the pup entirely. It felt like a "replacement dog" but I know deep down that wasn't the intention, and that (even if it had been) a replacement didn't exist. 

Dogs are each unique and irreplaceable - they're members of the family with personalities which we bond to. We love them, and they love us in return. What I'm trying to say (badly) is that this puppy doesn't understand grief or the situation it's fallen into, and is it's entirely own creature. It has it's own personality, which no doubt would be vastly different from the family dog you loved and grew up with. They will always be different dogs, and they have entered the home at different stages of your life. Allow yourself time to grieve, but maybe bonding with the pup could help (when you're ready). Don't view it as a "new dog" so much as someone new in the house, like a baby (or a hairy tornado).

My old dog who we lost a little over a year ago was with me since I was 4. I rode her like a horse, and remember a time when she stood taller than me. I remember her getting stung by a bee (she intentionally tried to eat it), sleeping in my bed when it stormed, running away for a whole three and half days and showing up on a beach about 20km away from home (the most terrifying three days of my tiny 9 year old life, and to this day the most relieved I've ever felt when we got the call she'd been found). I was there when we put her to sleep - we did it at home with a vet, and I held her after she passed, just remembering what she was to me. I'm now grateful she didn't have to get any sicker than she already was, it was an incredibly humane decision. I'll never have those things with the new dog, but I've also had a million new experiences with this crazy pup too. I still cry to remember her absence, but more than that I laugh at all the hijinks we got up to - she was a defining friendship in my childhood.

Best wishes, and good luck with exams. Give the puppy a family (everyone deserves family), it won't cure your grief but puppies tend to be little beacons of light and chaos (something hopeful).