Trust after my daughter's attempted suicide

petrainoz · ‎11-04-2026

Hi all,

I am a mother of 3 beautiful daughters. My middle daughter attempted suicide last October. It was very very close. I live in a different state from her, and when I discovered a goodbye message on my phone, I called the police and ambulance, who got there just in time.

I flew to be with her and stayed with her for 4 months until she was back on her feet. Now back home, I am struggling during the weekends. During the week, I work and am distracted. I am already seeing a psychologist for my own trauma issues. But what I am missing is people who can relate to my experience; how to trust her after this (her suicidal thoughts are chronic, but low-level currently). How do I get that image and the feelings of the moment I read her message out of my head. How I had to plead with the police to enter her property. The feeling of almost losing her is still so raw and it comes up when I am not busy. How have others coped? Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Sophie_M · ‎11-04-2026

Hi there,

Thank you for sharing this. What you went through sounds incredibly frightening, can imagine those moments are still sitting heavily with you.

Finding that message, not knowing what was happening, and having to rely on others to reach her in time… that’s a level of fear and urgency that can stay in the body and mind long after the moment has passed. The images and feelings coming back, especially when things are quiet, is something many people experience after something so intense.

You have shown a huge amount of care and strength for your daughter, being there with her for those months and continuing to support her while also seeking help for yourself. At the same time, it’s completely understandable that trust feels complicated now. When someone you love has been that close to danger, your mind can stay on high alert, trying to protect them.

Wanting to hear from others who’ve been through something similar is really valid. You’re not alone in this, even though it can feel isolating.

Alongside your psychologist, you might find it helpful to connect with services like the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467), which supports people affected by a loved one’s suicidal behaviour. They can offer space to talk through both the trauma of what happened and the ongoing worry.

We’re really glad you reached out here. You’re very welcome to keep sharing, and we hope the community can offer some understanding and connection too.

Kind regards,
Sophie M

Summer Rose · ‎11-04-2026

Hello and welcome to the forum

I’m so sorry that you have been through such a traumatic and harrowing experience with your daughter. You sound like a loving and caring mum and your daughter is lucky to have you.

I am also a mum and I can relate to your current struggles. By chance I interrupted my daughter attempting suicide about a decade ago.
I can still see the scene like it happened yesterday. I can feel the shock, sorrow and horror as I type these words. I remember being tortured by “what ifs” for ages.
I don’t think I will ever get this “out of my head”. But what has changed is the frequency of which I have these recollections.

Counselling helped me to heal and move forward without hyper vigilance—and I’m confident it can help you too. Be kind to yourself and give yourself time.

Trust with my girl was slowly restored over time. It was founded in a shared commitment to open communication about her dark thoughts and by creating a safety plan. I felt better knowing that she knew what to do to stay safe should she become overwhelmed again. It also really helped that I learned what to say and what to do to effectively support her. You can find information about safety planning on the Lifeline website.

Obviously, trust also improved as my daughter’s mental health improved. It’s important to remember that while people do fall ill, they also get better.
When I look back, it was the darkest time of my life. But one step at a time, my daughter and I walked out of it together. At some point, it was like a heavy coat just slipped off my shoulders and I was lighter. Hang in there, it can get better.
I’ll keep you and your daughter in my thoughts and prayers.

Please post anytime.

Kind thoughts to you

petrainoz · ‎20-04-2026

Thank you Sophie, your response really resonated with me. Thank you for your connection and kind words.

petrainoz · ‎20-04-2026

Thank you, Summer Rose. It has been so reassuring to hear your story; so good to read that you and your daughter have gotten through this. The trust is a big thing; also I think that sometimes I overcompensate with certain things, just to make sure she does not get upset. So saying "no" is hard, which is not necessarily a good thing. She has got good professional support, which I am glad about. I thank you for your kind compassionate words and the courage to share your story. Thank you.

petrainoz · ‎02-05-2026

Again, I have reached a brick wall. My daughter and I are unable to communicate about her mental health. She gets really irritable. She has a good psychologist and I will arrange a meeting with us together to try and understand where my daughter is at.

She can not give me guarantees that it will never happen again, she does not want to think about the fact that she is 'living' because she actually does not want to. However she is really active and is doing well, obviously on the outside. She is even going to do a course, which is a bit thing because she is physically so unwell.

But hearing that she really does not want to be here.... what do I do with that? How do I live with that? When I feel that incredibly hurt, I have a not so good habit to want to withdraw all together and say "stuff you" you are on your own. I am aware and just want to run away, but have not acted on this. I know this is not a helpful reaction. How do you deal with this? I am at a loss. Well I am a professional in mental health for 30 years, so I know all the so called 'coping strategies', but it does not make the pain less or my anger. I thought we were going really well, but I feel we are at square one.

Sophie_M · ‎02-05-2026

Hi , Thanks for posting in the forums today.
I have sent you a private reply.
To encourage the best responses to your post from our community, we will soon move your post to an existing thread of yours. This is keeping with our community guidelines, which you can find here: https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/custom/page/page-id/Forums-Guidelines If you’re feeling distressed, please call the Beyond Blue helpline on 1300 22 4636, or use online chat here: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/ Thanks again for sharing to the forums. You never know who will read your post and feel less alone in their own experiences. Kind Regards,
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