Struggling with the loss of my mum

[Weather]

Hi I am new here. I am 15 and lost my mum early this year from cancer. She was sick for a while before so I fee like I’ve been dealing with anxiety about that for a while but now I’m feeling lonely and lost and I don’t know how to cope. I have people around to support me but even though they’re well meaning I feel so distant and I guess it’s hard because most of them just don’t know what it’s like. Sometimes I feel really helpless and that really scares me because I feel trapped and I don’t want it to be like this forever. I’m just wondering how long it is going to take for me to be able to cope because right now I struggle to get out of bed and feel so broken. I really really miss her and feel so sad when I think of the future without her. I don’t really know what to do anymore.

[Sophie_M]

Hey Weather, thanks for reaching out on the Beyond Blue forums tonight and sharing your story with us. We know it can be difficult to open up about our lives, and how we've been coping, so thank-you for having the strength to do this. We're so sorry to hear about the loss of your mother, we can't imagine how devastated you must feel. Please know that you've come to a safe space and our wonderful community is here to offer as much support and advice as you need. It sounds like you're in a really tough space and it might help to talk it out. We'd recommend getting in touch with Griefline - 1300 845 745. GriefLine provides counselling support services free of charge to individuals who are experiencing loss and grief. One of the friendly counsellors can offer you some support but also provide you with advice and referrals for seeing a counsellor in a more ongoing way.  Hopefully, a few of our welcoming community members will pop by to welcome you and offer some words of support and advice. If you would like to post further, please tell us more about what's on your mind and how we can best help you get through this time of adjustment. 

[smallwolf]

hi and welcome to beyond blue.

On what to do... see Sophie_M response above.

I am saddened to hear of the loss of your mother. There are no words I could say to make things better for you. The only thing I can do in this space is to virtually sit beside you and hear you tell the story. Please also know that your mother lives in and through you.

The other thing I want to mention is that each persons experience is unique with the death of loved one. There is no right or wrong way to grieve - only your way. And how long it will take to able to fell as though you are moving forward... I cannot say. If you have the chance to talk to someone (a counsellor perhaps?) about the loss you are experiencing you might be able to find a way of moving forward. Writing a journal might be helpful as well, of putting your innermost thoughts and feelings somewhere. Others do not have to read what you write.

If you have any questions or want someone to talk to, we are here and can listen and respond.

You did not mention your dad in your post. Could you talk to him about your feelings?

Peace and comforting thoughts.

Tim