Lost a good friend

[Not_Batman]

im sorry if this is a bit too much..

She was Hit by a car that probably didnt even see her, and left on the side of the road. She was still alive when when i met her at the vet, driven by a passerby, and hung on long enough to recognise me, with a tail wag, as i carried her in to the O.R.

I stayed with her while she was in pain, laying there and holding her. She knew i was there, but i could see her slipping away. Her heart stopped just after my wife arrived. I cant believe she is gone.

As an anx/dep sufferer, i’m trying to keep strong and process the feelings in my own way, but my wife is taking it very hard.

we had her 11 years, and she was the most beautiful dog. We got her before we had kids of our own, so she was essentially child #1

Any advice for our grief, particularly how i Can help my wife?

Not_Batman

[sunnyl20]

Hey Not_Batman,

I am so sorry to hear what you are going through right now. Losing a pet, especially in such sudden and tragic circumstances, is upsetting and painful. Please look after yourself - be kind to yourself and give yourself the time and space that you need to cry and process things. You know your wife best so do whatever you think feels right to give her the support she needs. You don't need to talk about it if you don't feel up to it, but having each other to lean on is important. Don't bottle it up and internalise it. Try and do something for yourselves that you enjoy, even if it is something small.

Take care.

[Croix]

Dear Not_Batman~

I'm very sorry to learn of the loss of your dog. It is no small thing, for some reason pets become part of us, and when they pass away part of us goes too.

You will probably think I'm cold-hearted, nothing could be further from the truth, the death of a pet is so hard. Yes my wife and I know very well a pet only lives for so long and the we will be faced wiht great grief.

As a result we always have two. at the moment Foxy Dog and Sumo Cat, both spoiled rotten. The chances of both of them passing away at the same time is small, meaning we have the comfort of knowing that there will still be one little personality to turn the house into a home.

May I suggest you and your wife consider another dog -preferably from the pound so it will not be destroyed and the end of your dog's life is not wasted

It may seem a bit calculating, however my wife and I, while still missing the departed, have become so occupied with the newcomer matters do not seem as grey.

As I infer you have kids under 11 a new pet would probably be received with enthusiasm.

You and Mrs Not_Batman have my sympathy.

Croix

[Not_Batman]

Thanks Croix & Sunnyl20.

i keep a journal of the times im feeling low, just to put things into perspective on paper. I wrote about yesterday, and got a bit emotional...to be expected. But it helped me to realise that whatever happened was beyond anyones control. Nobody's fault, A total accident.

Mrs Not_Batman (or Not_Batgirl?!?) is going through the stages of grief, and we are talking it through as best we can.

our other dog is getting quite a lot more attention,

Not_Batman

[Croix]

Dear Not_Batman~

I'm very glad you have another pet, it mkaes all the difference, the empty spaces still have one occupant.

I'd not dream of selecting a different name for your partner, if necessary that's your job.

My partner does not object to Mrs C but is violently opposed to Mrs Walrus.

Croix