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BeyondBlue Welcome to the Grief and Loss section
  • replies: 0

Hey there,Welcome to the Grief and Loss section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This section is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you- providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and annivers... View more

Hey there,Welcome to the Grief and Loss section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This section is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you- providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and anniversaries, and honour the memories of your lost loved ones. Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This - and anything in between - is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but it can help to allow yourself to share your grief, and let others support you. Please be aware that discussions in this section of the Forums may include references to self-harm and suicide. Treat yourself gently as you read through this section. If need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Griefline – between 8am and 8pm (AEST), call 1300 845 745 to chat with a specially trained volunteer You are not alone in this, and we are here to support one another. Thank you for being here. Kind regards,Beyond Blue

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Teza68 Greif loss
  • replies: 10

Hi, just on 12 months ago I lost my wife who ive been with for 32 years. Still till today I am emotionally sensitive, She past in her sleep unexpectedly with me cuddling her when I woke in the morning she was dead in my arms. Ambulance came and tried... View more

Hi, just on 12 months ago I lost my wife who ive been with for 32 years. Still till today I am emotionally sensitive, She past in her sleep unexpectedly with me cuddling her when I woke in the morning she was dead in my arms. Ambulance came and tried to resuscitate her for 30 minutes to no avail. Because it was a unexpected death a police investigation was required and coronary report done, My wife was born with spina bifada and always had a difficult medical life and we were so close thru so many difficult times. I have very little motivation now always anxious, don't sleep much, I feel so empty inside that I have latch on to a old female freind for support only to be destroying that with overload her with texts doubting her support for me because of my own insecurity demanding constant reassurance of her friendship if I don't hear from her within hours, don't know how to stop this anxiety

mrob Advice needed
  • replies: 5

Hello all my name is Mark and I have posted here before but I have a question I have lost 4 family members in the last four years and I am still struggling so bad with dealing with the loss I have been seeing a Psychologist but I feel that I am just ... View more

Hello all my name is Mark and I have posted here before but I have a question I have lost 4 family members in the last four years and I am still struggling so bad with dealing with the loss I have been seeing a Psychologist but I feel that I am just going around in circles and I tend to feel worse off I have spoken to a friend and they have said a group environment where there are other people dealing with this may be a better option Any advice or help will be greatly and gladly accepted Thanking you Mark

Lloyd61 Sad news
  • replies: 2

Sorry to unload here, feel very disconnected from others that knew my friend. Had taken last week off to enjoy some time with my partner, but returned to work this week (Tuesday) to find a letter on my desk. Looking at the return address I had a bad ... View more

Sorry to unload here, feel very disconnected from others that knew my friend. Had taken last week off to enjoy some time with my partner, but returned to work this week (Tuesday) to find a letter on my desk. Looking at the return address I had a bad feeling about the contents. Sure enough, it was sent from the partner of a RAAF friend advising me that he had passed away from brain cancer last January 2019, had taken her this time to track me down. He was a very personal person, so felt very privileged that I was one of the few he kept in contact with since we both discharged back in the 90s, but he never indicated he was of ill health. His passing has impacted me more so than even my own mothers passing last year.Feeling rather lost.

Weather Struggling with the loss of my mum
  • replies: 2

Hi I am new here. I am 15 and lost my mum early this year from cancer. She was sick for a while before so I fee like I’ve been dealing with anxiety about that for a while but now I’m feeling lonely and lost and I don’t know how to cope. I have people... View more

Hi I am new here. I am 15 and lost my mum early this year from cancer. She was sick for a while before so I fee like I’ve been dealing with anxiety about that for a while but now I’m feeling lonely and lost and I don’t know how to cope. I have people around to support me but even though they’re well meaning I feel so distant and I guess it’s hard because most of them just don’t know what it’s like. Sometimes I feel really helpless and that really scares me because I feel trapped and I don’t want it to be like this forever. I’m just wondering how long it is going to take for me to be able to cope because right now I struggle to get out of bed and feel so broken. I really really miss her and feel so sad when I think of the future without her. I don’t really know what to do anymore.

Not_Batman Lost a good friend
  • replies: 4

im sorry if this is a bit too much.. She was Hit by a car that probably didnt even see her, and left on the side of the road. She was still alive when when i met her at the vet, driven by a passerby, and hung on long enough to recognise me, with a ta... View more

im sorry if this is a bit too much.. She was Hit by a car that probably didnt even see her, and left on the side of the road. She was still alive when when i met her at the vet, driven by a passerby, and hung on long enough to recognise me, with a tail wag, as i carried her in to the O.R. I stayed with her while she was in pain, laying there and holding her. She knew i was there, but i could see her slipping away. Her heart stopped just after my wife arrived. I cant believe she is gone. As an anx/dep sufferer, i’m trying to keep strong and process the feelings in my own way, but my wife is taking it very hard. we had her 11 years, and she was the most beautiful dog. We got her before we had kids of our own, so she was essentially child #1 Any advice for our grief, particularly how i Can help my wife? Not_Batman

Adrian_S my Daughter
  • replies: 1

hi this is a different loss that I'm not coping with, my Beautiful daughter was pregnant with her first baby and at 32 weeks she had a massive brain aneurysm and was rushed to the hospital for an emergency birth and then a emergency operation to reli... View more

hi this is a different loss that I'm not coping with, my Beautiful daughter was pregnant with her first baby and at 32 weeks she had a massive brain aneurysm and was rushed to the hospital for an emergency birth and then a emergency operation to relieve pressure on the brain, My daughter and Grand Daughter where both in ICU for 2 weeks, Bub is well but my Daughter has now had 4 operations on the brain and has been fighting for 15 months now, it breaks my heart a little every day to see her fight just to do basic things, i constantly think about her and helping her every day has taken a massive toll on me, i find it hard to talk to anyone about it because at the end of the day it doesn't change anything, and im worried because it is now physically making me sick,

Missmoo2305 I can’t cope with the loss of my mum, mother and father in law during pandemic
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, I am new to this forum. I’m 42 years old and have had the worst year of my life. On January 15th my father in law was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, multiple organs. He died on March 15th. My mother in law had battled ovarian cancer whic... View more

Hi everyone, I am new to this forum. I’m 42 years old and have had the worst year of my life. On January 15th my father in law was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, multiple organs. He died on March 15th. My mother in law had battled ovarian cancer which also spread to other organs for 2 years. She died in May 3rd. My beautiful mum had fought cancer for over a year and lost her battle 3 weeks after my mother in law on May 23rd. We lost 3 dear family members in 10 weeks. I didn’t see my mum on her last Mother’s Day because of Victoria’s lockdown rules. I can’t get that time back...I’m also an essential worker and have had to work through most of the pandemic. I don’t feel like I have been able to grieve properly and now my mums birthday is approach on 26th October. I haven’t even been able to go to her grave since she was buried on June 1st due to lockdown rules. I am getting really emotional again and feeling angry, frustrated and devastated. I’ve lost my best friend in my mum and my next dearest in my mother in law. It’s been impossible to deal with. I’ve lost mum. Hubby has lost both his parents. Nothing seems to make me feel happy anymore. We are just trying to get through each day and hopefully things will get easier with time.

AndiSolo Today has been rough
  • replies: 3

Hi Everyone. Two days ago was the birthday of someone I used to be married to. She died in 2006 when our kids were 9 and 11. At the time, she and i had been divorced for about 8 years and we had been sharing custody of our kids. I found out through a... View more

Hi Everyone. Two days ago was the birthday of someone I used to be married to. She died in 2006 when our kids were 9 and 11. At the time, she and i had been divorced for about 8 years and we had been sharing custody of our kids. I found out through a grandparent that, for the first time, my daughter went to the grave site. I am so pleased that she is acknowledging her grief. This post, though, is selfishly about me. The eldest of the two has not spoken to me in four years and the youngest, although living with me, puts a very clear wall between me and her grief. I have to tell you that I'm trans. I understand how that must complicate things but, there is no doubt in my mind about the love I have for my children and the depth of my desire to reach out and connect. That connection does not occur. I went down the street this morning to get a coffee and I saw a lovely mum playing with her toddler after probably dropping some of her other kids at school. The beautiful little kid was reaching out to their parent and it reminded me of how much things used to be like that with my kids. I am so sad. I don't know what to do with this sadness. Maybe it's mine forever.

kld218 guidance how to talk to your primary school child who's good friend's dad has committed suicide
  • replies: 2

Hello, First time posting.... Whilst getting ready this morning, in general conversation, my daughter randomly dropped a bombshell that her teacher would be away today as they are going to a funeral of the father of a child in class... I have since m... View more

Hello, First time posting.... Whilst getting ready this morning, in general conversation, my daughter randomly dropped a bombshell that her teacher would be away today as they are going to a funeral of the father of a child in class... I have since messaged the teacher to find out what the class know and or have been told. I know the father, not well, but somewhat, as their child is a very good friend of mine so have seen him at drop off / pick up, play dates, birthdays etc. I am shocked as the child is similar age to mine, who is now experiencing this tragedy. I tried talking to my daughter this morning about what she knew about the situation and her awareness of death but not sure of her actual understanding, hence why I messaged the teacher for some clarification... Apologies for the confusing, long post... My question is how do you talk to a primary school child who's good friend's dad has committed suicide and how to care for their friend?

angelarmani i lost three brothers
  • replies: 6

i'm quite young, in anyone's terms. i had three older brothers, and an older sister as well. all of my brothers enlisted in the army, and were deployed when I was 10. i just remember my teacher telling me that there'd been an emergency and I had to g... View more

i'm quite young, in anyone's terms. i had three older brothers, and an older sister as well. all of my brothers enlisted in the army, and were deployed when I was 10. i just remember my teacher telling me that there'd been an emergency and I had to go to my sister's school. we were taken to a quiet office and told that our two eldest brothers (who were twins) had died serving overseas. it sounds terrible, but I don't think I really felt it. i didn't really care until years later when I realised that I wasn't going to get them back, ever. just 2 years after that, our last brother died. he'd been shot, and died in intensive care later the same day. i felt his loss a lot more, and I don't know if it was because I was older, or if it was because I was closer with him than our other brothers. but I've had this sort of empty feeling in me whenever I see people with their siblings, or my friends talk about their brothers. I've never told anyone outside my family about it. it's too painful. once one of my friends told me I should get a brother, and I burst out crying at school. i keep getting flashbacks of all of us together, doing piggyback rides or stealing icecream or go kart rides. i just don't feel like anyone would understand. losing one sibling, maybe, but three? my sister has seemed to be fine, as bad as it sounds. she's never cried about it to my knowledge, and doesn't seem to be affected when anyone talks about their brothers or the army or war. i can barely hold in tears when that happens. we learnt about world war II in history and all I could think about was the hundreds of thousands of families who would never get their son or father or brother back. my four male cousins, who I am very close with, are all active members of different armies and I'm so terrified that I'm going to get a phone call one day telling me that they've passed away. I'm so scared I've begged them to quit the army but they don't seem to share the same fear. they were all devastated when my brothers died but they don't seem to ever consider that it could happen to them, and what it would do to our family. it's so painful writing this out, it just feels like there's a big hole in my chest that gets heavier every day. i miss them all endlessly.