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Grief and loss

Support and advice following the loss of a family member, partner, spouse or someone close to you.

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Sophie_M Welcome to the Grief and Loss section
  • replies: 27

Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to ... View more

Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but it can help to allow yourself to: share your grief, and let others support you. This forum category is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you, providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and anniversaries, and honour the memories of your lost loved ones. Please be aware that threads in this forum may contain discussions of self-harm and suicide.

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Butterfly_Kylie Financial Support after Suicide
  • replies: 2

I have a relative who suicided recently and the family are struggling to pay for the funeral as they are all on income support payments. They have just been told they have seven days to pay the account. Is there any financial assistance available? Th... View more

I have a relative who suicided recently and the family are struggling to pay for the funeral as they are all on income support payments. They have just been told they have seven days to pay the account. Is there any financial assistance available? The person who left is a brother and son and was aged 30. We have looked at the Human Services site but can't find anything that applies.

beckboo29 6 Months On
  • replies: 1

6 months since my dad passed away from a sudden heart attack, things just seem so raw at the moment. It’s hard not having that one person that meant the world to me, the man with all the reason and the person that could see the funny side in any situ... View more

6 months since my dad passed away from a sudden heart attack, things just seem so raw at the moment. It’s hard not having that one person that meant the world to me, the man with all the reason and the person that could see the funny side in any situation. I worry for my baby boy I try to be strong but now been two he can see my emotions. I can’t hide that melt down moment anymore. with all this crazy in the world at the moment, I wish he was here.

destiny Best Friend of 21 years passed away
  • replies: 2

I recently lost my best friend of 21 years after a long battle with cancer. My friendship with her had plenty of ups and downs but we always found our way back to each other. I have bipolar disorder and for awhile I pushed everyone away including her... View more

I recently lost my best friend of 21 years after a long battle with cancer. My friendship with her had plenty of ups and downs but we always found our way back to each other. I have bipolar disorder and for awhile I pushed everyone away including her. After about 2 years I finally reach out to her again and our friendship picked straight back up like we never spent any time apart. I spent her final year speaking every single day and I was last friend around when her final weeks came. I spent her last day out of hospital with her and was her final text message. Now she's gone and I feel so alone. I might sound crazy, but I always thought I'd get some sort of sign from her after she passed, but nothing. I'm so glad she's finally cancer free and pain free. I feel like I'm never going to have a close friend again. How am I supposed to make new friends without comparing to what I had. I keep thinking I'm going to get a text or a call from her any day now. I don't know how to move on from crying every night.

fred2018 In family house of mother who has passed
  • replies: 4

Love to hear from others who have lived or are living through the experience of being in a house with the memories of a passed loved one. I've been in the same house as where my mother passed and just expecting her to be here is difficult. I plan to ... View more

Love to hear from others who have lived or are living through the experience of being in a house with the memories of a passed loved one. I've been in the same house as where my mother passed and just expecting her to be here is difficult. I plan to move in a year from now.

Perpetual1234Indecision Coping with Post Abortion Doubt
  • replies: 1

Hi, My partner recently had an abortion. We were in a long term relationship, she had consistent doubts about our compatibility and future. I guess the anxiety of becoming parents brought out even more doubts etc and ultimately a decision was made to... View more

Hi, My partner recently had an abortion. We were in a long term relationship, she had consistent doubts about our compatibility and future. I guess the anxiety of becoming parents brought out even more doubts etc and ultimately a decision was made to terminate the pregnancy. We have since broken up and I just can't seem to think of anything else and feel completely paralyzed.

LiquidRegret Man Down
  • replies: 7

I have nobody left that cares about me. In the last year I have lost my wife due to a car accident. My daughter who was only three died of cancer fifteen days ago. I have had a military career where I have been in Timor, Iraq and Afghanistan. I have ... View more

I have nobody left that cares about me. In the last year I have lost my wife due to a car accident. My daughter who was only three died of cancer fifteen days ago. I have had a military career where I have been in Timor, Iraq and Afghanistan. I have a very different perspective of life from most people and can't really relate to most people.

Jamzies Two friends, one lost
  • replies: 5

Hi all, I would desperately like to express my deepest feelings I had when I heard the news, if I could. Yet my mind fails to come up with a reasonable response like I didn't care. I DO care. I'm stuttering to write meaningful sentences, but these se... View more

Hi all, I would desperately like to express my deepest feelings I had when I heard the news, if I could. Yet my mind fails to come up with a reasonable response like I didn't care. I DO care. I'm stuttering to write meaningful sentences, but these sentences honestly feel dull and bland. One might say I sound neutral, but I'm not trying to be. I really do care about such a friend. It's almost as if my body feels painless despite being stabbed, and that pain can't even register. I had expected a simple conversation, the usual chats from my mother after tennis training. But the sudden gloomy sentence of "terrible news" had sent me into confusion. "H passed away in his sleep this morning. If you want to say the last goodbye, I'll let you know when the funeral is." (I've abbreviated his name as I do not feel like disclosing it now.) It was over. It could not be. He was such a great friend from primary school, and we stayed together until secondary school where I left to seek the prestigious schools. To see him gone and never be capable of returning just feels like being stabbed in the back, yet not notice any pain."This fate just wants to take everything I love and slowly destroy it!" I would think. Am I feeling insensitive, or is something wrong with me? I wish I could have wrung out some of my spare time, perhaps to see him again, enjoy lunch together, to at least cherish our friendship once more. But as much as I beg, it simply won't come back. Sorry if I can't think of a better way to describe this event. Perhaps I'll return with more info when I make up my mind. JZ

Platitudes Cause or effect?
  • replies: 2

Hi all u good people I'm struggling with depression a lot lately. And I'm still struggling with some losses in the family. The reason I'm posting here is I'm hoping someone might have some insight as to what might be going on. Am I still struggling w... View more

Hi all u good people I'm struggling with depression a lot lately. And I'm still struggling with some losses in the family. The reason I'm posting here is I'm hoping someone might have some insight as to what might be going on. Am I still struggling with the deaths of loved ones "because" I'm having mental heath issues? or am I experiencing depression (at least in part) "because" of my personal losses? The deaths in the family have happened some time ago and I'd have thought I should have moved on by now. Lost my dad 2 years ago to cancer, this one hurts most, the ground just doesn't feel solid anymore, he was my rock Lost my sister and niece together tragically and unexpected 7 years ago and my mum died shortly after due to complications from a rare blood condition (and I believe sadness after losing her daughter) I only have my little sister left out of my immediate family and I need to be present for her and for my wife and kids, and I'm not at the moment.

Livinia0912 Painful Grieving After a Loss
  • replies: 7

I lost one of my boys (Alaskan Malamute) after nearly 12 years together yesterday afternoon. I have another Alaskan Malamute who is not coping and a cat. They are my babies and my entire family. I had a falling out with my family of origin in 2018 an... View more

I lost one of my boys (Alaskan Malamute) after nearly 12 years together yesterday afternoon. I have another Alaskan Malamute who is not coping and a cat. They are my babies and my entire family. I had a falling out with my family of origin in 2018 and they have not spoken a word to me since. After my divorce in 2016 I just haven't been able to make anything work relationship-wise. My three babies are all that I have and now that one of them is missing I'm just so alone and beyond devastated, I just can't cope. I don't know what to do, it hurts so much.

Unknown_Feelings how do i process this
  • replies: 2

so my mental state has been dangerously low for the past two months. I just got told by my girlfriend that she lost the baby we were going to be having. i seriously dont know what to say. how does one process this? how am i supposed to feel? how do i... View more

so my mental state has been dangerously low for the past two months. I just got told by my girlfriend that she lost the baby we were going to be having. i seriously dont know what to say. how does one process this? how am i supposed to feel? how do i support her through this? how do i support myself through this? please help.