Sophie

[DolfinRock]

Hi,

I’m 61 and alone as alone can be.
I live alone, have no friends and my entire family has disowned me because I’m, in their words “sick, depressed and boring”

I have spent the last 7 years confused and wondering if this is a dream.

I wasn’t always this person. I had a moderately ok life, money, all my family seemed to love me , a great job and appeared to have plenty of friends.

everything changed 7 years ago when my partner of 30 years left for someone else, this was followed by an accident that left me in hospital for 6 months and contracted an incurable bacteria and my illness/ disability, that I’ve lived with since age 21, got worse and became visually hideous. Of course I had to depend on the pension and finding a part time job. I have been to over 100 interviews but, I don’t think anyone would take a chance on me.

My siblings, who was also my best friend throughout life, walked away and gathered the rest of my very large family around her, along with her new BF, SIL, BIL, and other new connections and didn’t see me as good enough to fit in this new family structure. 

I have spent endless days where they’re celebrating special occasions like my brother’s wedding, my mums milestone BD, as I sit staring at the sky with a crushed heart and tears in my eyes.

I’m trying to find my new life without all the people I loved and lived for but it’s hard.

I don’t fit in this world anymore and see it and the people in it as too good for me. I’m a burden, even to myself.

I have been a kind, good, empathetic person that’s given my all to anyone who needed me. I just can’t understand my life anymore and why or how it took this turn.

I hope to hear from you 

[Scared]

Hello.  What happened?   Why has your family deserted you ?   I can listen if you want to tell me more.

[DolfinRock]

Hi,

thank you for reaching out.

I don’t know why. They just started pulling away and cut me out. My mum said that they think I’m too sick, depressed and boring. This was on the heels of my partner walking out then having the accident. I never in my dreams imagined that they would do this to me.

I’m grieving the proud and strong person that I once was. It’s been 7 years, I wonder when and if I can stop hurting and move on.

I now see myself as a slug crawling on the ground while others (anyone) looks down at me.

I’m so lost and so tired 😪 

[Scared]

Im sorry family are treating you that way

You are not a slug.   Your a human being that isnt having their needs met.  I think when we carry depression for a long time it can become a habit.  Have you any interests that you once did.  I suffer from debilitating depression.  And what im doing is doing a bit of work.   I dont feel like doing it and it scares me.  But i doing it in the hope it brings some meaning to my life.   Perhaps now is the time to get back some hobby in your life and forcing yourself to do it.  Can you talk to your mum about how you are feeling and how sad you are not being with the other members of the family.   You are grieving and it could help you to have some professional to talk to   Perhaps see your doctor for a mental health plan..   Your not alone , we here on beyond blue are always ready to listen to you.   Let me know if you can think of a hobby you want to take up

[DolfinRock]

You are very sweet and thank you!

I feel frozen and forgotten by everyone I ever knew. I tried talking to mum but she supports the majority. Everything is hopeless. I honestly think that I don’t belong here anymore. I 

[DolfinRock]

Why do you have depression and what type of work do you do?

[Scared]

Hello   I have many things that i cant deal with .  Loss of health no house girlfriend gone and im not adjusting to life in this city where I live.  It has all crashed into depression.  Im currently on sickness payment .  

[DolfinRock]

I honestly get it. Hearing your side of the story and knowing how similar it is to mine, makes me feel I’m not the only one.

do you feel like you’re not alive anymore and the the world is going on without you? people say it’s up to you to turn your life around but, when you’re so weighted with everything that’s happening, you simply don’t have the strength to get out of bed.

we need to hang in there and breathe through a straw and hope and wish things will turn around. I now know how scary this world can be when you’re all alone. I keep asking God if this is it or is there another chapter to my life…….hang in there, they say that when you hit rock bottom, then the only way is up 🌻

[Scared]

Yes the world is going on without me and im on the outer.  Everything in the city is too fast too busy and too big for me to compete.   But mostly i just miss my girl . Im tired of being afraid all the time.  

[DolfinRock]

I’m sorry to hear that! 
were you together for long and why did you break up?