My Nephew was lost to suicide this week and I am trying my best to look after my sister and her fam

[daisybelleflowers]

My beautiful nephew took his life this week and has left his family up in arms because he showed no signs … his parents didn’t see anything…. His best mates didn’t see anything…. He looked after others above himself and was always the life of the party or fooling around with family? Unfortunately I have not been around him much for the past 10years … he was 18… but from what everyone has been discussing this week since we lost him on Tuesday… no one had any idea 

[Croix]

Dear Daisybelleflowers~

Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry for your family and your own loss.

Sadly suicide leave those behind wiht a double burden, the grief and loss for someone who has suddenly passed away, and a whole raft of emotions as the took their own life. This can include guilt, anger, bewilderment, family strife and a whole lot more.

Looking for signs one might have missed is very natural, just about everyone does that, thinking 'if only I'd recognized them'.  The fact is not everyone does give recognizable or clear signs, normal behavior for any individual has a pretty wide range anyway, and suicide is so far from everyday thinking that there is simply nothing to go on. Sadly that guilt remains.

So may anger that the person left those that loved them, maybe thinking 'if they had cared about us they would not have done it'. This is mistaken, people take their lives becuse of being utterly overwhelmed - for a whole host of reasons, and even in some instances think that may be doing those close to them a service.

There is a national suicide bereavement support service that may have a branch in your area, Standby Support After Suicide, can I suggest you make use of their services, the reason they exist is to help people like your, and your family, in this situation.

You know you are welcome ot talk here anytime

Croix

[geoff]

Hello Daisybelleflowers, it is so sad when there are no signs that indicate a person is suffering from any MD nd who appears to be 'the life of the party', so you ask yourself if only we knew, then perhaps it could be addressed, I think this is what shocks us all.

Even if you were around to see him you still might not have known how he was feeling, so please don't blame yourself.

Geoff.

Life Member.

[David35]

It's often the case. I lost a friend to suicide and he was always happy. I still don't know fully why. Don't blame yourself. It's tragic. I cannot comprehend what you must be feeling. But of all the feelings you have, do not feel guilt. I'm sure you would have been there for him if you would have known. The problem is, some of us simply hide our darkest feelings so unless they say something, there's no way of knowing.