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Dad's passing makes me anxious
Im new here. My dad passed last year in July from a heart attack. Since then I couldn't stop crying, a month after his passing I had my first panic attack. Even since I have been getting anxiety non-stop.
As soon as I think of him, I get anxiety attacks. I sometimes think "Am I going to get a heart attack next"
How do I stop thinking this way? I try to not worry about him, but as soon as I think about him I get anxious about myself. I feel like I'm trying to forget him.
Oh dear, I've been through this. Dad passed in 1992 with heart attack from a clot at 64yo. I'm now 67yo. He was an amazing man in every way.
Also, prior to that in 1985 I had a panic attack that was incorrectly diagnosed as a heart attack. It was 3 months later on a stress test treadmill that I was told it wasnt a heart attack. I havent had a panic attack since so the symptoms are quite close.
So, how do we reduce our anxiety. Be ready for a long term fix but as you progress you'll improve gradually which makes it worthwhile. It's all listed in my thread on that topic-
Now, about your recovery over your dads passing. I'm a forever positive person so that certainly helps. Eg after dad passed I kept reminding myself that he suffers no more, that he went in a better way eg not an accident, that his memory is a gift. Other ideas are- plant a tree in his honour, a rose garden, write about him, I write poetry. It all helps. Finally try to get distracted. As soon as you start thinking about him, go to your hobby, ring a friend or do as I did and have a large jigsaw in a spare room, do 20 pieces and leave it.
But, my poetry works best. Here is a poem for you today I wrote many years ago. Thankyou for posting, your dad would have been so proud of you.
Soon it became obvious
As my ol’ man came of age
That the strain of life itself
Did complete another page
And as his ‘book’ filled up
To approach the final scene
I knew each wrinkle on his face
And which one came from me
And as I read the last line
Of the chapter not complete
It tells of his twilight years
That he knew he’d never meet
Dad was never scared to die
He faced it brave and strong
And I knew each wrinkle on his face
And where they did come from….
I am sorry to hear of your dad's passing, that must be hard for you. Grief is a hard emotion especially after a parent passes. I think your feelings are valid and probably triggered some anxiety. I think the best course of action would be to see your doctor and organise to speak to a mental health professional, they can help you get a hold on your feelings and thoughts.
You will not forget your dad - he will forever live on in your heart!