Lost Mum 2017

[fred2018]

I thought I'd come on here to get some thoughts out. This will be a bit of a ramble of thoughts ha. My mum passed away in 2017 from breast cancer, I'm 29 so it feels quite young, quite a full on experience having her pass away at home but still better then other places. She was great fun, always making life a bit of adventure, always very supportive in some pretty rocky periods. I am happy that she crammed a lot into her life and all things considered she got 55+ years of good health. I am yet to see a grief counsellor as its a big line, alot of people have died ha, they look to need alot more pysch/counsellors there, still I have seen a pysch privately but I like this forum idea as its free hah. Good job Beyond Blue and everyone involved.

[jess334]

Hi Fred2018

Welcome to the forums.

I'm sorry for your loss. Losing someone is always difficult, but watching them pass away from cancer is terrible. We went through a similar experience with my grandmother last year.

Have you tried calling the Griefline? Its a free counselling phone service. Their phone service is open from midday to 3am.

1300 845 745

They also have a chat line I think.

https://griefline.org.au/phone-counselling/

Kind thoughts, Jess

[Wizard1]

Hi Fred,

Welcome to the forum and I'm sorry to hear of your loss.

I can certainly relate. My father was diagnosed with a brain tumor at 55. He has survived with it thus far for 5.5 years now but it is hard watching him slowly deteriorate from this awful disease. He recently took a turn for the worst. It is hard to know but we are doubting he we last the year. 😢 However he has surprised us by living this long with it. We just never know, he might live another 5.5 years.

May I make a suggestion? To honour your mum, remember her at her best. Write down a list in your mobile of things that make you smile when thinking about your mum. When you start feeling a blue about your mum, get your list out and read it. I found this helped with grieving when I lost my younger sister and I'll be doing the same for my father too when he passes away. I hope it helps you too.

Cheers, Wizard.

[Peppermintbach]

Hi fred,

I’m deeply sorry for your loss. Your mum sounds like she was such a passionate, caring and inspiring person who made the most out of her life...

You must miss her terribly...losing loved ones is heart wrenching. There’s a famous saying about how you can never love someone as much as you can miss them...I never truly understood that quote till I went through my first loss...

I think a lot of people say everyone grieves differently, and I feel they’re onto something there. So all I‘ll say is honour your grief and loss in a way that feels right to you (whatever and however that might be).

Kind and caring thoughts to you,

Pepper

[fred2018]

Hi Jess334 , I will keep Griefline noted thanks very much for your advice. Sorry for the loss of your Grandmother.

[fred2018]

Hi Wizard1 than you for your advice, very sorry to hear about your Father's health, all you can do is make the best of a shitty situation and make them comfortable and distraction is good, comedy can be helpful I think, depending on the situation. The memory is nice thanks, yeah I've been writing alot of memories when they come up and its good we had a lot of funny memories to remember.

[fred2018]

Hi Peppermintbach thanks for your kind words of advice, that quote is very true.

[White_Rose]

Dear Fred

Welcome to the forum. Good to meet you. I too am sorry you mom has passed away. My mom died in 1999 and I still miss her. Dad also gone and one sister who had ovarian cancer. It is hard to live without these very much loved people.

Great idea to write down your memories, especially those that make you smile. My friend lost her son when he was aged 23. So dreadful when children die even if they are technically grown up. We never get over that loss I believe. My friend told me someone said to her, "Never believe you will forget. The intervals between remembering will get longer". I thought it was a great statement because it is so true.

I wonder how you feel about holding a remembrance party. Get your family and friends, yours and mom's, together one day and spend the time reminiscing. Lots of laughter and probably some tears but so helpful. Get out the photo albums and other memorabilia. Plant a tree or make a small garden. Anything you feel is appropriate is good. It does help to keep her in your memory in a constructive way.

Mary

[ELLET]

Hi,

I am so sorry for your loss.

Thank you for sharing your story about your mum.

I lost my mum last year in a very horrific manner. It is so hard to accept. I remember all the good, funny stuff but her tragic end aunts me every day.

Just wanted to say "hi" and that by writing about your mum you are helping others like me and also keeping your memories alive.

Thinking of you.

[ELLET]

*haunts not aunts