Lost grandson

[ronnie1]

Hi, I lost my 5 year old grandson in April, I can’t explain how devastated our family is and I am struggling to deal with it.I have tried just about everything and nothing seems to be helping,sometimes I feel I’m getting worst. I find it hard to do anything I used to do, I don’t know maybe it’s guilt or maybe it’s because it reminds me when things were better. The only thing that keeps me going is not wanting anyone else to have to suffer although sometimes I feel like it’s just all too overwhelming .I don’t want to feel like this for ever but I’m really struggling to let go. I have lost older people in my life before,but to loose a young family member just tears your heart out.Is anyone else going or been through the the loss of a child ?

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

I'm sorry for your loss, I feel your grief. 

Grief is a hard topic to help with, it's so personal and others, friends and family have their day to day lives to get on with ... the world doesnt stop. You might find the ones that appear to not grieve as much are busier with their work/interests etc which delays their grieving periods until alone, sad or visits to the cemetery. I stumbled on that thought many years ago when my daughter was cruel to me for the last time and I knew I wouldnt see her again. I threw myself into building my kit home by myself plus working around the clock in 3 jobs. It worked, I didnt have the time to think about her as much but when I did and went through the grief, it was shorter and perhaps more intense, then up I'd get and got on with my projects.

for you-

PLANT A ROSE

The grandy chose a bright red rose

And planted it in the spring

A memory of the little flower

That always had a grin

And when the sun got warm

to open the petals of that rose

the memory of that grandchild

smothered all her woes

Grandy picks a rose every year 

and walks around with pride

The grand daughters hand gripped in yours

toddling by your side....

TonyWK

[MaeveHarding]

Hey, I'm new to this forum and just came across your post. I can't even imagine what you and your family are going through. Losing a loved one is never easy, but losing a child is a whole different ball game. It's totally understandable that you're struggling to deal with it. It's natural to feel guilty or like things will never be the same again.

[MaeveHarding]

I haven't been through the loss of a child myself, but I have a friend who lost her daughter a few years ago. She said that it's something that you never really get over, but you learn to live with it. It's okay to feel overwhelmed and like you're not making progress. Have you considered talking to a therapist or counselor? Sometimes it can be helpful to have someone to talk to who's outside of your family and friends. I'm lucky to have a brother who's a psychologist. He helped my friend a lot. He even helped him choose Sunset Red Granite because whenever my friend thought about it, he almost cried. Anyway, hang in there, and know that you're not alone.

[quirkywords]

Ronnie1

thsnks for your post. I wonder how you feel now some 5 mths after your first post. Grief is different for everyone and there is no limit. A friend whose young child died many years ago planted a tree in her garden and found writing and talking helped. She said the pain is always there .