lost a soul mate

[dragon1]

hi everyone , im not sure where to start , i have just lost my wonderful wife 6 months age , 25 years without an argument , am on antidep meds , not wanting to go out , its hard to put into words , we were able to finish each others sentences , she had a stroke 4 years ago so i was her carer , the days & nights with out her a hell ,

[Saroseme]

Hi,

I’m so sorry for your loss, she seemed like a great lady, and you sound like you had a great bond with her, I’m sure she’s resting peacefully.

I don’t have much experience with loss of loved ones just yet, as not much of my close family have had issues, but from what I’m seeing, the community here are lovely people, and I’m sure they can help with any issues or questions you have, considering your loss. I hope you find some really supportive people who will help out to the best of their abilities.

Sorry that I cannot help as much as I (and probably you) would like, if you ever need to chat, I’m probably around.

I wish you all the best with everything,

Sam

[dragon1]

thank you sam , i have had quite a few downers through out my life , but this is one that really put me in a real bad stage , yes she [ dont like to say WAS it sounds so final ] a rock that dragged me into line , i am hoping this site will help , thanks again

[Saroseme]

Hi again,

Yeah, I get how it feels to lose someone who is like a rock to you, or means quite a lot to you. Honestly it sucks, having that happen to you is awful.

I truly do hope you find some nice people here, from what I’ve seen, they are some really kind people here and I’m sure they can help out. Being very new myself, I can’t exactly comfirm that, but considering how kind everyone here is, I’m sure you’ll find someone who can relate or be of support. I mean, that’s what the forums are here for after all.

Best wishes,

Sam

[White_Rose]

Dear Dragon

Hello and welcome. I think Sam is right about the people who post here. There are very helpful and caring people around.

Please accept my condolences on your loss. I can see how much that has affected you and how you feel dreadfully lost and alone. You will have lots of memories of your life together but may find it hard to revisit them for a while. The loss of someone close to you does often result in a depressive state where you feel no interest in anything.

It's good you have had a chat with your GP and been given some medication. Antidepressants can help to lift your mood but your grief will run its course. Maybe you can make a small memorial garden for her. Plant her favourite flowers/bushes/herbs etc. Put a comfortable seat there and spend part of the day talking to your wife. This can help you feel better and still be in the company of your wife.

Do you have any children? If so perhaps they can join you on occasion to talk about her, remember how she cared for you all, and how much she loved you all.This can be a comfort as you and your family look at photos and remember the various occasions the family were together.

If you would like to write about your life together and all the good things that happened you may feel closer to her.

Mary

[shadowangel]

Hi dragon...I’m so sorry for your lost..l lost my best friend and soul mate 6 years ago..after 25 beautiful wonderful years together ( how lucky was I )....and there’s still not a day when I don’t miss her...I wish I could say it gets better time...but that’s all bullshit...time doesn’t stop the pain..I can’t tell you time I hid under the dona for days not wanting to face the world..and crying like a baby...but my saving grace was a few special friend and the fact wore still teenagers and needed me...not sure I done a good job yet with the kids...I guess what I’m trying to say is that we all can only take it one day at a time...but the loneliness does drive ya mad...stay safe

[dragon1]

THANKS PEOPLES , i am not sure where to start , abusive FATHER [ bully ] i felt different at junior school , could not fit in anywhere , high school was even worse
, it settled when i started working full time at 16 i looked over 21 ok , great in can get into pubs , did stupid things once got drivers lic , but when are at that age we thought we are unable to get hurt , but that is crap , i found that the hard way , picking the wrong partners , dont ask married 4 times ,so its been a crap life from an early age , i could go on all night about things from my history , but that is a start , hope to be able tell other things as i feel more comfortable on this site ,i am seeing a shrink at the moment , sort of helps at times , was going to him before wife passed away , thanks

[geoff]

Hi Dragon, I hope you can feel welcome to the site.

It's brave for you to come and open up to people you don't know, sometimes that's all you want to do, that's what we appreciate so much.

Your early life was hard but to be married for 25 years to a lady you loved so much and this was reciprocated, for all those beautiful years is a memory you won't ever forget.

There will be your good days and the days you wish never happened, those are what you have to try and get the help you need, I know it's not going to be easy, as I was also married for 25 years, a different story to yours, so please, never worry when you have those tearful days, we know those are the days that hurt so much.

Hope to hear back from you.

Geoff.

[dragon1]

hi guys & gals i had a strange upbringing but i think it could be worse , abusive [ bully ] father is all i can remember , excuse spelling , ways remember food thrown around kitchen after old man been to PUB , not that many good things come to mind , alcholic bum of an old man , mum not able to hide it , wish i could done something about it , as oldest fightenged to try , if i had the strength , the old man would have been toast , mum tried to protect me & brother but i saw to much , hated old man , frightened of him , i wish the strength had been with me , to be continued

[White_Rose]

Hello Dragon

You certainly had a poor upbringing with your father. I am presuming he has passed away now or maybe you do not have contact with him. Do you see your mom much? Sorry if she has also passed away. I thought you could get together to help each other through the sadness of both of you. I expect she is grieving as much as you for her sad marriage and also for you as moms always care for their children no matter how old they are. Sharing a grief can help.

Do you see your brother? Again another person to share your grief.

Twenty five years is a long time to be together and I imagine you must feel as though you have lost your way. I see your doctor has given you some antidepressants. How is this working for you? It will not stop your grief but should help to keep you in a better place and help with regaining your energy. I know what it is to spend the day in bed and wanting never to get up again. It is so hard. It will get better but as everyone else has said the grief will not go away altogether. Instead you will find ways of coping.

Mary