Losing my dad has impacted my life

[Kt2215]

I lost my dad last year and the 1 year of his fathers is creeping up and I'm feeling more and more anxious. I don't want to work, see people or even get out of bed at times. I'm struggling and over eating, not exercising much and self doubting myself constantly. I recently got work and then stopped due to feeling I couldn't do it. I just want to feel normal again. The only thing keeping me going is my dog and new partner. 

[Kt2215]

Hi Neil,

Sorry to hear about your loss too. Yeah it goes so quick and then bam you get hit with many emotions every now and then. I have an amazing counsellor I have been seeing for over 10 years and whenever I know I need the help I go back to see him. My running had kept me mentally stable and for the first time in over 15 years I havnt had the winter blues this winter just passed. I had some time off work, manage to get another job after losing my job and got my life back on track. I'm doing very well and have built up a great support network of friends around town to help me in tough times. My family live around five hours away so I needed to get some support system when needed. This town had some lovely people who have helped me heaps. Thank you again.

[Kt2215]

Hi,

So sorry to hear about your loss. All the dates that come up like birthdays, date of their passing, Father's Day and other important dates are a struggle. I always have a good cry, spend time with my dog, outside watching the birds and nature. My dad reminds me of a butterfly so whenever i see them I know he is around. I talk to my dad, I talk to my brother, my mum and family and share stories about dad the happy and sad moments. It does get easier overtime which I thought would never come when your in the grieving process. I also read grieving self help books, had regular counseling and fought against my inner demons. I would never self harm myself again or try to commit suicide again either as I realised my life is worth it and I can work through all the past pain and move toward even though I sometimes go backwards. Grieving is a bitch at times but it makes you much stronger when you come out of it. Always seek help when needed is what my mum always helped me do from a young age. Thank you for your reply it meant a lot to me. I feel supported and not alone.

[blondguy]

Hey Kt

When I posted to you early this year my dad was with us.

He passed away 3 weeks ago. Now I really feel your pain....Its a painful rollercoaster ride for sure

Happy Christmas Kt

Paul

[pipsy]

Hi Kt. So pleased you're in a happier place now. Sometimes we do have to endure hardship to help us appreciate when things start happening that are good. My dad was a chronic alcoholic/narcissist, but, in spite of everything he did and even though he ignored me, I do miss him. I too latched onto to the wrong people, I needed someone to support me through my darkness and in my grief I thought I had found someone. The person I have in my life now is supportive and understanding, which in a guy is quite surprising. Men seldom understand females (we have problems understanding ourselves), but my friend is there for me whenever I need him. I know there is nothing I can't tell him, he never judges, always supports. Having that, more than makes up for all the bad choices I made. I have a job which I love, my confidence is total. Like you, I am usually in the sun these days, occasionally rain clouds appear, but the sun always returns.

Lynda

[sunny6]

Dearest Kt2215. I just want to let you know that I am thinking of you. This is a late reply to your post, as you have mentioned you lost your beloved parent in 2015. I believe that the anxiety you have been feeling is a natural grief reaction. I too have experienced this strong emotion after my dad passed. I was in shock and felt anxious, confused, and helpless for a long time after he passed. I hope you have found some healing and relief now. I'm glad you have a dog and partner. My dad passed in 2011, and I still feel very sad to lose him. Kind regards from Sunny6.