Cancer demands a lot from loved ones as we can only sit by and observe the havoc it wreaks.
You must have been very strong to stay by her side, and I think writing about it will allow you some closure and reflection on the woman your mother was to you.
How we grieve is an individual journey to process the loss in our own way and own time. For most of us, we want what simply cannot be returned; so we struggle to make sense of this the best we can.
Some feel it necessary to hang on to the memory as life was before, while others, still carrying the burden, will use work or what might appear to be inappropriate activities to simply deflect the pain of loss.
These emotions are all part of the healing process and eventually find their place in acceptance of what is now.
When my mum passed away, my dad found it difficult to relate to the children - just the association brought back heartache and memory of better days.
Learning to appreciate what we have can be a gradual process. Give it time.
