How do I cope without my baby?

[scully78]

I lost my little 18 yr old chihuahua Tayla on Saturday. She was an abused rescue and I had her for 11 of her 18 years. We were joined at the hip! In the last 3 years, I would take her absolutely everywhere except work. I wouldn’t plan any occasions unless Tayla could be there with me. Took her to the gym, coffee shop with friends and she was adored by everybody. Got a lot of attention and pretty much everyone in my social circle knew her and loved her. She would sit with me while watching telly, walk around while I garden and patiently wait for me while I had my appointments.

Her passing has been a very confusing and painful experience. She died of congestive heart failure, so it was very sudden and unexpected. There were no warning signs. She seemed very happy and energetic the morning before her attack. I very quickly took her to the vet and within 2 hrs of arriving she deteriorated. In the consult room, she looked like she was hurting, so I asked the vet to hurry with the injections. She died in my arms with her head resting on my chest.

Since her passing, I don’t know what to do. She was my world! My day was structured around her 5am/5pm medication regime and around her needs as well as my own. I loved every minute spent with my little girl, with the mornings being my favourite part of the day with Tayla. That’s when I would feed her, take her to the lake, coffee shop, gym, beach…whatever was planned. Now, I dont feel like I have a reason to get out of bed in the morning. I am terrified of waking up each day with the realisation she isn’t here with me anymore. I haven’t talked to her, held her or kissed her in 5 days now and I miss her so much. She brought so much love and laughter to my life and now she’s gone. I live alone, and feel like there is no point to life without her. We loved each other so much and we were a perfect match in life, had so much fun. Our bond was very strong. I hate going to bed without her and I hate waking up without her. How do you get on with life without your soulmate? Im struggling to find a point to it all.

[88pinkorange88]

Hi Scully,

I lost my husky 3 years ago and he was the most loyal dog. He was more loyal to me than even family and friends were. The loss of losing him was huge. It made you think of absolutely everything you did together but suddenly it was quiet and lonely. I wasn't ready to take on another dog immediately and it wasn't until this year that I got a puppy. 

My puppy has her own little personality and as great as she is in having a purpose in life again, a companion and someone to go places with - she brought up memories of my husky which are still painful today. 

It will take time. Please take time to grieve. And although it is incredibly lonely at first, you still have friends to see from time to time.

I recommend volunteering at an animal shelter to still feel that love and attention by animals. And when you are ready, you can grow a connection to a particular dog and adopt them just like you did with Tayla. 

Please keep us updated with your situation as we are here for you and know what that is like. 

Sending you hugs,

88pinkorange88