"...she should be over it by now".
Hopefully that isn't what people are thinking Miss. If they are, sadly you can't control that. And if they are, that lack of empathy shows just how small they are. This reminds me of grade 6. A friend died from a brain tumour. For many of us, as 11 yr olds, a first brush with mortality and a very confronting one. After it happened, all the students and their parents in my grade amassed in the classroom and told stories about her. We all cried, A LOT. The family that lived 3 houses down the street was there. The dad was absent but the mum and 3 kids were there. I had an on/off friendship with the middle kid, who turned out to be a sociopath. It all makes sense now because his mum said to me and some others something to the effect of "Are you ever going to stop crying about this and get over it?" I was too shy and too gobsmacked to say anything. I wish I had the assertiveness even at 11 to have said something.
Needless to say, this kind of behavior angers me IMMENSELY. Grief takes as long as it takes. For each person it is different. In many cases and understandably so (Especially losing a child) it might never subside or fade.
Sometimes people don't even "adequately" deal with grief initially, thought they believe they have. Then it hits them again later. Since my mum died in 2003, I have a feeling that my sister and I (Dad less so) still really haven't properly faced it.
But also, until someone actually says something to you, you're assuming what they are thinking and I can understand why you would but until there is evidence, an actual comment it is just not fact yet. Hopefully you can worry less about what others think about the grief "time limit".
As for your partner, do you feel he has dealt with the grief? Would he be trying to avoid bringing up the issue again because of pain? Should you sit him down to talk again? Book a doctor or counselor appointment with him?
I can imagine how hard things have been and the alarming feeling you have had to relapse. I've gone through it with my depression/anxiety, feeling like it was under control for a long time then back with a vengeance last year...and hanging around, to the point where it has been it's strongest and most relentless since Oct.
Don't beat yourself up either for the "backwards step". Hope you're doing OK.
