Good to meet you Drewboy, though I wish it would be in different circumstances. Welcome to the forums.
What a terrible thing to happen, no wonder you are feeling shaken. I'm glad you are courageously reaching out and sharing your concerns.
There seems to be a history of depression running within your family. Unlike feeling depressed (a passing state), depression is a medical condition. It should be considered and treated as such. Like all medical conditions, it will not disappear if ignored. It can deteriorate, sometimes to the point where Life no longer appeals.
The good news is, you don't have to be next. The cycle can be broken and I hope you will be the one to do it. With the right help, support and treatment, mental illness can be managed and kept in check. Quality of life and peace of mind can be reclaimed. Those are your birthright. So please take good care of yourself and be proactive about this. Booking a long GP appointment would be a wise first step. Depressive conditions are unfortunately not uncommon so a doctor will point you in the right direction. You could do the K10 test (top left of this page in the Facts section) for depression anxiety. It doesn't replace proper diagnosis but your results could be handed over to your GP.
One of the main issues is that the stigma attached is often self-imposed. Because it affects the mind, people think they ought to be able to do something about it. It is totally wrong. It is something happening to you, not caused by some weakness or flaw of character. Keeping things under wraps denies you valuable support. Your loved ones can be informed about what it is you are really up against.
Wouldn't you have preferred your father to be more open about the fact he was struggling ? Struggling alone is too difficult and unnecessary. Putting a mask over it only leads to exhaustion and despair.
Meanwhile, gathering as much info as possible would be the way to go. Navigating these forums is a terrific start. Well done for joining the community.
