Grief and loss

Grief and how to deal with it.

replies: 2

Hi guys, My depression started as post natal, i was on and off my meds thinking and hoping i could stay off them. I got off them a for a bit. Had another baby and bam. Back to it all again. Things were going well so i stopped. AGAIN.. all was well an... View more

Hi guys, My depression started as post natal, i was on and off my meds thinking and hoping i could stay off them. I got off them a for a bit. Had another baby and bam. Back to it all again. Things were going well so i stopped. AGAIN.. all was well and good.. 2years later. My mum/best friend passed away suddenly in her sleep (artheroslerotic heart disease) she didnt even know she has it!! Fell into a hole and was back on them again. 3 years on. With the most wonderful supportive husband and kids im still struggling with everything. All i want to do is hidr in my bed and netflix all day. I dont like doing anything.. its affecting work, life and everything inbetween. Ive lost the one person i could pour all my problems to without any judgement or pity. My mum was. My everything and I'm trying so hard but i just feel its pulling me further and further down. Im at a loss and i do not know what to do anymore.. Is there anyone that could share some light x

Nees help coping for 3 family deaths

replies: 1

Hi all, 26 year old male, severe depression, anxiety and regular panic attacks. This is the first time I've public posted my thoughts so bear with me. I suffered from mild depression and anxiety from my early teens, up until November 2014 when my eld... View more

Hi all, 26 year old male, severe depression, anxiety and regular panic attacks. This is the first time I've public posted my thoughts so bear with me. I suffered from mild depression and anxiety from my early teens, up until November 2014 when my eldest brother passed away in a car accident at aged 32 following that in 2016 my mother passed away aged 52 from a stroke whilst shopping with my youngest sister who was only 11 at the time. And again following that, in September 2017 my other brother just 3 years older than myself at 29 years of age passed away in his sleep from pneumonia and an enlarged heart (undiagnosed). Since my eldest brother passed away, my depression, anxiety and stress has been unimaginably through the roof, with it only getting worse after each death. My last brother to pass away was considered my best friend so it was a "double whammy" and i took a month of work from my new job which i only started 7 weeks prior. I feel lost, alone and my social anxiety stops me from doing the most basic of tasks, such as calling someone, getting up to go to the shops, etc... I came here because I keep having time off work and cant keep it up as my financial situation doesnt allow it, I can no longer do things I enjoy like working on my project car, as I dont have any money to fund it, which make me more depressed and it just keep going around in circles. I am currently medicated and have just started taking something to help me sleep (California rockey fuel apparently). I was previously on another medication for 4 years, but it didn't work for when my family passed away. I cant speak to my partner, friends or family because they get upset when Im upset. I bottle my emotions up a lot and I cant help doing it, its just how I am, I've been seeing a physiologist each fortnight for the past 9 months, i feel good after i go but i go back to feeling the same the next day. I cant afford more time off work as I am the sole income earner and I currently have a childcare bill in excess off $500 not to mention car regos due, so that stresses me out more. What should I do? Please help.

Lost my husband to suicide not coping

replies: 1

I lost my beautiful husband 6 months to suicide and I’m so lost and lonely. He was my soul mate the love of my life and now his gone. His family have placed the blame on me and have said some very horrible and nasty things about me it’is pushing me o... View more

I lost my beautiful husband 6 months to suicide and I’m so lost and lonely. He was my soul mate the love of my life and now his gone. His family have placed the blame on me and have said some very horrible and nasty things about me it’is pushing me over the edge and I’m felling more and more like I want to go with my husband. My husband had suffered from depression and alcoholism due to a very traumatic childhood and he would not seek the proper help he need he would always say I’m ok Baby. We loved and adored each other and to think people are saying my husband didn’t love me is breaking my heart . I don’t know how to go on anymore I have been in hospital twice since his death. IS IT MY FAULT MY HUSBAND DID THIS? I need help to understand why his family blame me so harshly I loved them. We had a fight the night before due to his drinking and not working for over 2 years things were getting really hard financially as I was the only one working this got so bad we had to start selling our personal belongings and were going to be evicted from our rental house I should have kept my mouth shut and never said anything to him I live every day blaming myself and than to also have others blame is just to much. Even though we had our ups and downs like all couples do we never stopped loving each other I just want my husband home with me.

Difficult anniversary

replies: 3

Hi all this Thursday marks the 10 year anniversary since my Mum died. She was 63 and had melanoma. My family are all in UK. I went home to help nurse her and spent six weeks away all up. Then I had to leave my grieving father and come back to life in... View more

Hi all this Thursday marks the 10 year anniversary since my Mum died. She was 63 and had melanoma. My family are all in UK. I went home to help nurse her and spent six weeks away all up. Then I had to leave my grieving father and come back to life in Australia to my husband and children. It was like a nightmare. I have not been able to go back since. I can’t face the long haul flights and the emotional toll. I feel like a bad daughter and I have never seen my mother’s grave. Feeling torn up inside.

I miss you

replies: 72

I keep being bought back to that day and it won’t leave my head I sat next to him, I put his hair behind his ears and touched his head and i told him it will be ok i wanted to believe it so badly i didn’t leave his side until I knew he wasn’t alone i... View more

I keep being bought back to that day and it won’t leave my head I sat next to him, I put his hair behind his ears and touched his head and i told him it will be ok i wanted to believe it so badly i didn’t leave his side until I knew he wasn’t alone it’s so vivid still i can see the pictures i put on the wall pictures of me and Mum and him and pictures of us with nanna, and pictures of us when we went on our first holiday with our step dad I wanted to hug him so much and and i couldn’t i told him how sorry i was that this happened him my step sister bought him a melbourne demons beanie kid and we put in his hand now i sleep with it every night

30 year old female, so much loss...& completely unable to cope... or look forward to anything.

replies: 5

...I have this constant feeling like I’m just waiting for another terrible thing to happen. My gran died of brain cancer. Then my bf died of brain cancer two years later. Then my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer. I now live in an almost constant ... View more

...I have this constant feeling like I’m just waiting for another terrible thing to happen. My gran died of brain cancer. Then my bf died of brain cancer two years later. Then my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer. I now live in an almost constant state of paralysis. Like I’m just unable to step forward because I feel like something else terrible will happen. I don’t know how to not feel this way... when every time people have said “it’s okay, life will get better” ...and I have tried to get back to living, life hasn’t gotten better. I am also almost in constant pain after some surgery. It’s been 3 years of pain, and multiple specialists. When you’re in pain, with a sense of nothing to look forward to accept more pain... the world looks pretty grim. To make matters worse, I have very few friends left in Sydney. By few I mean one... and she’s busy. I can go weeks without hearing from anybody. My husband is supportive, but he’s busy... and can’t offer advice or relate. I get the feeling he loves me but simply doesn’t know what to do or say. i guess if I don’t, then why should he. I honestly don’t expect anyone to say anything that will make me feel better. I guess I just needed to let someone, anyone know... perhaps someone will relate, or has experienced worse than I have and gotten though the other side. I have spoken to counsellor, but to be honest... they always want to discuss the deaths in my life... and considering they were pretty awful to witness, I don’t want to keep going over them. To anyone who takes the time to read this, thank you... and I’m so sorry for how pessemistic it sounds. I am not okay. I just pinned up photos of everyone who would care if I just ended my life... and it’s not many... it’s not many... In tears. I know there’s no easy solution... I just needed to at least write my thoughts down... even if it doesn’t solve anything.. at least I’ve finally acknowledged that I’m not okay.

How to cope with sudden death of my dad

replies: 8

Hey all, I lost my dad the other week from brain aneurysm. It was so sudden. I am finding it hard to cope with being so down. I can not stop thinking about dying and the thought of loosing my kids or anyone else close to me. This is the first death i... View more

Hey all, I lost my dad the other week from brain aneurysm. It was so sudden. I am finding it hard to cope with being so down. I can not stop thinking about dying and the thought of loosing my kids or anyone else close to me. This is the first death in my intermediate family in my life that i have had to deal with. I am also a mum of 4 and help my husband run a business. I am also the oldest of 5 siblings. My dad was my mum's fulltime carer as she has battled some different illnesses and cancer twice. I am being strong for everyone but really feel myself declining. I know i have to keep it together for my family as they need me. I just don't know what to do. I feel sick and so down i can not feel happy at all. I get it is still early stages but i do not know when i will ever feel better. Thanks for listening.

Struggling with grief and 20 year depression battle

replies: 2

Hi, When my Mum was 15 she had a baby with my now step father. I found out about her when I was 16 and we met. I always wanted an older sister and I was excited. As always life happens and it was difficult to keep in touch. In Dec b4 xmas she and her... View more

Hi, When my Mum was 15 she had a baby with my now step father. I found out about her when I was 16 and we met. I always wanted an older sister and I was excited. As always life happens and it was difficult to keep in touch. In Dec b4 xmas she and her 3 yo son were killed overseas. She has 3 adult children that are still struggling with her loss. I always thought I would have time to get to know her better, but we didn't. I was so proud of all the obstacles life had thrown her way and how she met these challenges head on and maintained a positive up beat attitude and overcame them. I regret I never got the chance to tell her or get to know her better. In Apr I also lost my Grandfather. He was my hero. When I was first diagnosed with MDD over 20 years ago he was my rock. It took me some time to tell him I had been diagnosed. I called him on a weekly basis for a chat, he always made me feel special and loved. We laughed and talked about immature things, cricket and AFL. He cared for my Grandmother, who suffered dementure , for 5 years on his own. When he was in his late 80's he was finally convinced help was needed. He moved interstate to be near his daughter and he only left Grandma when he was told by Nursing home staff. When she passed he was devastated. He lost his the love of his life. Every phone call after he would say he wants to die and be with her but he can't. He survived 5 years without her. I had always planned to visit him every 6 months. But life happened and I was never able to. I deeply regret that I could not be with him, talk with him or support him in the way he had done so for me. This has all come to the surface now. I think I pushed it down to get on with life. My work has an assistance program for counselling but I have been before and I am not comfortable with them. I don't know what to do or who to turn to. My husband is not the best listener or most supportive person. I can't sleep, I feel low, I am having lots of terrible thoughts, I'm teary, the only thing holding me together is my kids. Any advice is welcome.

Both parents passed away

replies: 8

Hi I’m struggling as both my parents passed away Mum 9 months ago she dropped dead of a Brain hemorrhage i landed in the uk monday she died suddenly Tuesday I keep playing it over and over in my head the last time I saw her dying and that it was my f... View more

Hi I’m struggling as both my parents passed away Mum 9 months ago she dropped dead of a Brain hemorrhage i landed in the uk monday she died suddenly Tuesday I keep playing it over and over in my head the last time I saw her dying and that it was my fault as ihad not seen her for 3.5 years...... i feel guilty for not seeing her for so long I’m at my wits end thinking about how it all happened and can’t belive both my parents have gone!!! Tracey

Coping with death

replies: 6

Hello, I’m new to the forum and needing some advice. My ex husband that I was with for 33 years, drowned in a tragic boat accident 5 months ago and I am feeling very low, I haven’t been back to work since due to anxiety, and just tired all the time, ... View more

Hello, I’m new to the forum and needing some advice. My ex husband that I was with for 33 years, drowned in a tragic boat accident 5 months ago and I am feeling very low, I haven’t been back to work since due to anxiety, and just tired all the time, I am not getting up till midday which I hate, but I am just so tired, I feel the more time that is passing, the worse I am feeling

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Welcome to the Grief and Loss section

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Grief and how to deal with it.

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Nees help coping for 3 family deaths

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