Grief and loss

Coping with death

replies: 6

Hello, I’m new to the forum and needing some advice. My ex husband that I was with for 33 years, drowned in a tragic boat accident 5 months ago and I am feeling very low, I haven’t been back to work since due to anxiety, and just tired all the time, ... View more

Hello, I’m new to the forum and needing some advice. My ex husband that I was with for 33 years, drowned in a tragic boat accident 5 months ago and I am feeling very low, I haven’t been back to work since due to anxiety, and just tired all the time, I am not getting up till midday which I hate, but I am just so tired, I feel the more time that is passing, the worse I am feeling

Pregnancy loss and pregnancy after loss

replies: 3

Hi, i lost my daughter in november 2017 at 20 weeks pregnant. I am now pregnant again which i am grateful for but i just feel so flat all the time. I think i may have antenatal anxiety and depression. I feel like a terrible mother because i just keep... View more

Hi, i lost my daughter in november 2017 at 20 weeks pregnant. I am now pregnant again which i am grateful for but i just feel so flat all the time. I think i may have antenatal anxiety and depression. I feel like a terrible mother because i just keep wishing i had my daughter here, she would be almost 3 months old now. But does that mean i dont want this new baby? I really dont now how to feel and im so sick of the thoughts running through my head and all the triggers that make me feel so sad about my daughter. Im also scared that something is going to go wrong in this pregnancy and i really could not handle that pain again. My husband and i talked very openly when we lost our daughter but lately i havent felt like i can talk to him about how low i feel. I think i am ashamed. Any advice?

A client of mine died by suicide

replies: 4

I have been through an ugly property settlement and thought I was ok until a client committed suicide and now feeling quite bereft and not in control as I thought I was. I invited a good friend over for lunch which helped a lot but still feeling so s... View more

I have been through an ugly property settlement and thought I was ok until a client committed suicide and now feeling quite bereft and not in control as I thought I was. I invited a good friend over for lunch which helped a lot but still feeling so sad that my client couldn't see that tomorrow would be better

Being blamed for my partner suicide

replies: 6

Hi All, I am new here and really don’t know where else to turn too for help, answers or support because no around me knows what to say or do. My fiancé took his own life and has left a massive hole in me and our childrens lives. I don’t know I can go... View more

Hi All, I am new here and really don’t know where else to turn too for help, answers or support because no around me knows what to say or do. My fiancé took his own life and has left a massive hole in me and our childrens lives. I don’t know I can go on any longer the pain I feel is like no other I have ever felt, I can hardly look at my children anymore I feel so empty inside and hearts broken for not only myself but my kids as well. I blame myself for what has happened, I feel like I should have done more to help him, I keep having all these ‘what if’ rolling in my head every second of every day and my gilt overwhelms me that I can’t even think straight or remember things. And on top of all this I’m putting onto myself his parents are blaming me as well, they are confirming everything that’s going inside my head and saying it was my fault this has happened. That our relationship was to blam and I drove him to do this to himself. I can’t even begin to explain how this is effecting me mentally, it’s making all my dark thoughts feel so true. It’s making me feel like I no longer what to be in this world, the pain I feel is to great to even get over. I don’t know what to do anymore, I feel hopeless. I’m not sure what I’m looking for on here but maybe deep down I just don’t want to feel alone, that someone out there knows how I’m feeling? I want to make it through this but don’t know I can.

Dealing with grief

replies: 1

I'm new here but don't really have anyone to talk to. My partner's father died a couple of weeks ago and he is struggling with the grief. I'm trying so hard to be there for him and to help him through this but I keep getting told I don't understand. ... View more

I'm new here but don't really have anyone to talk to. My partner's father died a couple of weeks ago and he is struggling with the grief. I'm trying so hard to be there for him and to help him through this but I keep getting told I don't understand. He's right. I've never lost a parent. I don't understand. I have my own issues with depression and infertility that I'm trying to push aside but if I get upset about anything or he says hurtful things then apparently I'm making it all about me. He's pushing me away when all I want to do is love and support him. I know eventually it might get a bit better but scared I'm going to lose him in the meantime. I've never felt so alone. I self-harmed tonight. I've never done anything like that before and it scares me. I don't expect any miracles but hoping if I can get it off my chest it might make it easier to deal with.

Grief and depression, differentiation of the two.

replies: 1

Hi All My husband died nine months ago after an horrific illness that lasted almost 2 years. I have some PTSD from this. My psychologist thinks that I am over the grieving period. I have been seeing him for 18 years and he saw me and gave me support ... View more

Hi All My husband died nine months ago after an horrific illness that lasted almost 2 years. I have some PTSD from this. My psychologist thinks that I am over the grieving period. I have been seeing him for 18 years and he saw me and gave me support during this hard time. I have also battled depression for over 20 years. I have tried just about every med out there. i put myself second as my husbands carer and I now am at the point where I think my depression is so overwhelming that I want to try ECT. I feel such despair, fear and cry uncontrollably every day. I have had three hospital stays in nine months. I can’t keep living this way. I know I’m going to come up with people saying nine months isn’t long and that’s true. I’m also young <40 so I need to be able to comprehend a future. I think that ECT is my only option. I’m so medicated that I can’t see the harm and it’s worth a try. I have a grief counsellor too so I’ve been very proactive in managing my health in the last nine months. Any ideas about how to differentiate between depression and grief? I know depression is part of grief but my depression was pre existing. Thanks for reading.

To many examples. To young to loose a Mum.

replies: 3

So not sure how this all works or where to go or what to say. On February 21st of this year my mum passed away at the hands of depressions close to 8 years after my pop passed the very same way. Since feb I have struggled to feel any sort of emotion ... View more

So not sure how this all works or where to go or what to say. On February 21st of this year my mum passed away at the hands of depressions close to 8 years after my pop passed the very same way. Since feb I have struggled to feel any sort of emotion or even connect to anything. I feel broken on the inside but unable to express or convey it in any way. Things have been nothing but stressful with my partner feeling like I don’t have any support, yet also feeling like I can’t put to much pressure on him. My friends have decided they don’t like my partner which has caused nothing but added stress, drama and unwarranted anxiety. I feel like “what next” on a daily basis and just feel lost all around. In myself I know self harm is not the answer as unfortunately I’ve now seen at the age of 25 two family members suffer for to long and knowing the after shock that follows. Never having questions answered nor having an exact reason why. I lay here tonight missing my mum hearing her voice remind me it’s ok to be sad, don’t be ashamed to ask for help. So I guess I’m going out on a limb and expressing how I feel in a place I feel could and should be safe. As a young man I wonder how to go on. I can’t fathom a life without my mum but great full I had the time I did. I can’t picture my mum not being the one to show me how to hold my first child as she held me, I can’t imagine marrying the man I love without my mum by my side saying “cmon let’s poor a wine it’s your wedding day” Just like my Mum I’ve stepped out to help and support so many others, in the short almost 3 months to the day multiple friends relationship breakups, friends parents giving their last fight before cancer wins, fall outs between friends and family and my partner then to my own health taking a turn and being forced to stop for a minute. I feel like this is all over the place but that is just how my head feels one thing after another no time to stop and then when I decide to take a moment something else happens someone else happens. And don’t get me wrong I tell my friends I’d rather they come to me and talk when they feel their breakup is to much or parent is to sick or work is to hard, rather then suffer in silence before it’s to late like my mum and grandfather. Not sure if all or any of this is suitable relatable or helpful but I just thought I’d let some of what’s going on in my head out.

My mum committed suicide

replies: 3

When I was 20 my mum committed suicide. I'm now 26 and I feel deeper in my grief than ever before. I had a really delayed reaction to her death (I did not express any emotion for 2 years). We were a pretty normal tight family unit and I needed to be ... View more

When I was 20 my mum committed suicide. I'm now 26 and I feel deeper in my grief than ever before. I had a really delayed reaction to her death (I did not express any emotion for 2 years). We were a pretty normal tight family unit and I needed to be the strength for the rest of my family. My mum left no note, and nobody really has any explanation of why she did what she did. She was such a great mum to my brother and I, and while I know she had problems (she was an alcoholic) she was a successful business woman and excellent mother, and nobody had any idea she was suicidal. In addition to all the normal stuff you feel when someone dies this way, there is a lot of blame towards me and the rest of my immediate family from my extended family on her side. I get through this by understanding that sometimes people need to blame someone to cope but honestly it's so wrong that anyone could think anyone was responsible. Particularly my brother and my dad and I. We would have moved heaven and earth had we known she was in danger. Even so, I feel like I have failed the most important person in my life and I'm haunted by what happened. The permanence of her death still has not settled in and it hits me in waves and knocks me right off my feet. What should I do? Is there anything I can do?

Grief, depression & suicidal thoughts

replies: 3

Hi, I'm 18 yrs old and new to this forum. I'm in my first year at uni and I live at a residential college about 3 hours from home. Just over 7 weeks ago my dog passed away. She meant everything to me and her death was so sudden and such a shock becau... View more

Hi, I'm 18 yrs old and new to this forum. I'm in my first year at uni and I live at a residential college about 3 hours from home. Just over 7 weeks ago my dog passed away. She meant everything to me and her death was so sudden and such a shock because she was perfectly healthy, I was a mess for weeks after and just couldn't cope with her being gone. I saw a counselor after a few weeks of grieving because I was just not feeling any better and my mood was not improving at all, I was barely sleeping, I was still crying every day, and I was just not coping well with life. I was having suicidal thoughts and was thinking of ways to end my life. I then saw a GP and have been on 2 different sleeping tablets over the past 3 weeks but they only work for one or two nights before they stop working. I've been on antidepressants for 2 weeks but I don't feel these have made any change to my mood at all. I am just feeling very down and hopeless and exhausted all day. I don't have anything to look forward to in life, and I dread having to go back home because last time I went home, I hated being there without my dog and I really struggled to cope and it just made me feel worse. I find it so hard to talk to my parents about what I feel, I don't want them to overreact or make a fuss, or come up to see me at all or phone me heaps. I also just don't think they'll understand what goes through my head all day. I am trying to go to uni to distract myself and to try not get too far behind, but I am finding it so hard to concentrate on my work, I keep zoning out and thinking about life and dying, and about my dog. I am quite far behind at uni but I am past the point of caring about much anymore. I just feel like every day is the same, nothing seems to get better, and I don't see any point in continuing to live if this is what I feel like every day. I am so unmotivated to do anything and I just feel like my life is meaningless and nothing I do matters anymore. I have been looking up methods of suicide and I am often thinking about ways to end my life, to stop the pain and all these thoughts that are in my head all day. A week ago I got quite bad and wanted to run away anywhere out of this place, I just couldn't handle it anymore, but I managed to force myself to stay and tried to distract myself to stop the thoughts. I just don't know what to do anymore, I'm feeling so hopeless and down and exhausted all the time, and just needed to get it all out. Sorry for the long post.

Grieving loss of my Mum

replies: 5

hello I'm a new member. I'm feeling so upset. I thought I was prepared for my Mum's death but I wasn't. It's four months now and the days and nights are such a struggle. I'm dreading all the "firsts" ..this coming Mothers Day, an upcoming family cele... View more

hello I'm a new member. I'm feeling so upset. I thought I was prepared for my Mum's death but I wasn't. It's four months now and the days and nights are such a struggle. I'm dreading all the "firsts" ..this coming Mothers Day, an upcoming family celebration, my birthday, her birthday. ...you get the idea. On top of that I'm dealing with the likelihood of having to have a loved pet put to sleep. I'm very fortunate to have a loving partner and lovely girls but I have never felt so lonely ..if that makes sense. Please tell me I'm not alone. I'm alternating between crying a lot of the time and/or getting upset and angry with my loved ones. I have suffered with anxiety and depression for most of my life..close to forty years so this also multiplies the grief. Thank you for taking the time to read.

Pinned discussions

Welcome to the Grief and Loss section

replies: 0

All discussions

Coping with death

replies: 6

Pregnancy loss and pregnancy after loss

replies: 3

A client of mine died by suicide

replies: 4

Being blamed for my partner suicide

replies: 6

Dealing with grief

replies: 1

Grief and depression, differentiation of the two.

replies: 1

To many examples. To young to loose a Mum.

replies: 3

My mum committed suicide

replies: 3

Grief, depression & suicidal thoughts

replies: 3

Grieving loss of my Mum

replies: 5

Grief and loss

Welcome to the Grief and Loss section replies: 0

Coping with death replies: 6

Pregnancy loss and pregnancy after loss replies: 3

A client of mine died by suicide replies: 4

Being blamed for my partner suicide replies: 6

Dealing with grief replies: 1

Grief and depression, differentiation of the two. replies: 1

To many examples. To young to loose a Mum. replies: 3

My mum committed suicide replies: 3

Grief, depression & suicidal thoughts replies: 3

Grieving loss of my Mum replies: 5

Welcome to the Grief and Loss section

replies: 0

Coping with death

replies: 6

Pregnancy loss and pregnancy after loss

replies: 3

A client of mine died by suicide

replies: 4

Being blamed for my partner suicide

replies: 6

Dealing with grief

replies: 1

Grief and depression, differentiation of the two.

replies: 1

To many examples. To young to loose a Mum.

replies: 3

My mum committed suicide

replies: 3

Grief, depression & suicidal thoughts

replies: 3

Grieving loss of my Mum

replies: 5