Been through too much

[Alecia1407]

• introduction and Information. I recently sent my Phycologist an Email just explaining the terror and time line of horror and abuse I went through. I’m 38. And I have no support so I thought I’d post it on here on the forums, in hopes that I can get some comforting support in between the time I see him and Now.

. I am presenting to you as a private patient because the public mental health system government clinics have severely failed to understand my needs, misread my complex trauma history, and neglected my critical need for healing and comfort. have experienced wrongful psychiatric detentions for up to six weeks at a time where my reality was dismissed. I am seeking private, independent care to bypass these system failures and safely rebuild my life.Below is the exact timeline of the chronic physical, emotional, and housing trauma I have survived

:Childhood & Teenage Years (Family Instability): My parents divorced when I was a child. I have not been close to my father since I was 15 years old. My mother constantly kicked me out of home, forcing me into survival mode at a very young age. Because of this extreme instability, I was deeply isolated, had not had a proper boyfriend since age 19, and had been completely cut off from all of my friends for four years by the time I turned 22.

2009–2012 (Severe Physical Domestic Violence - Andrew): Met Andrew when I was 22 and highly vulnerable. For three consecutive years, he physically assaulted me every single fortnight. The police were involved multiple times, and Andrew was arrested repeatedly for these assaults. In 2012, SAPOL issued a lifetime Apprehended Violence Order (AVO) against him

2013 (Andrew's Remand, Joel, & Trauma): Andrew breached my safety and assaulted me one final time in 2013, resulting in his arrest. He was subsequently placed in the remand centre due to unpaid DUI and breeching the intervention Order. Later that year, I met Joel on online. He violently assaulted me, and I went through a painful abortion in September 2013. Joel shattered my personality and psychologically manipulated me into believing I was mentally unwell, deliberately pushing me to seek psychiatric intervention. He later confessed in writing via email that he intentionally "sucked the life, psychologically" out of me and was not sorry

2014–2018 (Systemic Institutional Failure & Medical Gaslighting): Crushed by Joel and homeless, I reached out to my father to reconnect and seek safety. My dad did not know that Joel had psychologically pushed and manipulated me into going to those clinics. My dad took me to government mental health clinics, where I was placed on medication for PTSD. When I presented to the Emergency Department in a severe crisis, staff laughed at me and labeled me "confused." They failed to see that Joel was still actively taunting and emailing me every five weeks while I was homeless. This initiated a four-year cycle of wrongful, involuntary public psychiatric detentions lasting up to six weeks at a time

.2016–2020 (Family Abuse & Legal Betrayal): In 2016, my mother—who has a history of severe intoxication—entered a relationship with Joel’s stepbrother, fully knowing what Joel had done to me. That same year, she assaulted me, falsely reported to the police that I had attacked her, and took out a fraudulent AVO against me, which was finally removed in 2020

2014–2022 (Physical Survival Shutdown & Severe Housing Instability): Spent nearly a decade in a chronic "freeze" response, spending days in bed to survive. Due to continuous trauma and fleeing unsafe environments, I have moved addresses 55 times over the last 14 years, handling trailers and applications entirely alone. During this time, I endured over 25  surgeries in public hospitals. My family dismissed this pain, forcing me to take taxis home from operations completely alone. I have not had regular intimacy or a safe relationship during this decade of survival. 

Current Status (February 2026–Present): On February 6th, I secured a brand-new, Housing Property. 

[Croix]

Dear Alecia1407~

Welcome back. I have read your other two threads from earlier this year 

PTSD I Feel lost, constantly panicked and over whelmed

and

Too much:(

together with some posts you have made to help others. 

You must be a very resilient person to deal with all that has happened and it's great you take steps to sort matters out over time., be it the police or the health system or toxic partners and parent.

Now you are probably going to have to forgive me as life has thrown so much at you that I expect I may miss some things that are important.

Firstly I'm glad you have a place to stay, that is a very basic need and I'm sure after the last years where housing has been a real problem this is a relief.

The second is I'm concerned about your physical health, having so many surgeries in 14 years seems to me as a layman that your health may be in a poor condition. May I ask if everything is all right now or do you have more to face?

Going from the public to the private health sector is very expensive, and if you are on the benefit you mentioned before I hope you can afford to do this. I can see why you think it is necessary, as you do feel that your treatments by the  public mental health system has been wrong. Apart from anything else to go for help to ED and be laughed at is as bad as it gets, unprofessional, frustrating and upsetting.

On a more hopeful note you mentions good effect from CPT and that you were about to start EMDR. This was a few months ago, do you think thay are helpful now?

Having had a trauma and ill treatment both by your mother and by two partners, needing to be involved in the legal system to get protection are things that are truly horrible, and I"m glad one is incarcerated and away from you. I'm not at all surprised these experiences have given you PTSD, something I suffer from myself. Early trauma is something htat can affect one's whole life and does need specialist care , are you able to get this? It's often very hard due ot expense or availability.

Are you having to face all this alone? I think you mentioned you had a dad who took you to a clinic and also three sisters. May I ask if you get on with them OK, and if so are they any support?

I know I've not covered everything in this post however I have used up nearly all the  2,500 characters one is allowed in any one post so I guess I'll have to stop now.

If you feel like responding please do so here as I might miss it if you post in an older thread or start a new one

You will be very welcome

Croix