hello and welcome to the forums. And for sharing your story.
I hope you do not mind he asking a question to you and this could also be my understanding or lack thereof. You mentioned in your post this person was your ex partner and truly loved him. I am guessing there something that did not work out, and yet there was still this attraction?
I wonder if you have been able to talk to anyone about that?
When someone close dies, I feel a hole grows in you.. part of you (the other) is no longer around. That person you cannot talk to. That part sucks.
All that I can really say is there is no set length of time in which to get over this. It is what it is. We each have own unique way of dealing with death of a loved one.
My hope is that there are people in your life you can talk to. If not, there is always here and professional help is available if needed - there are a number of services you can also contact as well. Listening ...
