Would really appreciate peoples thoughts on a housing situation !

[randomxx]

Hi to all.

lt's an unbelievable time in life to find myself stuck in this position, just don't know how to look at it, or what to do about with it, if l can anything at all. 

Problem is, at almost 60, yeah l've mixed up details in other threads just a bit concerned some l know may also be here and haven't wanted any connection here that l might know, butttt, yep.

Thing is l didn't get anything out of my last house, the people l went into the property with as it was a big place, went broke.

Well , sort of lucky although maybe a curse , not sure anymore but l do still have a 1ac country property, 18yrs now, from back when l was married.

l can't work anymore for mh reasons but if l took care l can survive until l can get the pension- living at the 1ac place- it only has a small over nighter atm but l could extend and it'd come up quite nice .

Problem is, it's in a ting town, 30mins to the main town which is a really nice place and there's also a couple of tiny ones in between before that main buttttt, out where this place is, is tiny and out on it's own .

l always planned selling it about now but problems are now that for 1, even if it did sell, it's just a cheap little country block it'd only be a good deposit on something closer in- but circumstances now that'd mean a new mortgage and l'd have to keep working too, don't think l could stomach either of those especially the stress in trying to make it happen.

2nd thing highly possible it doesn't even sell anyway.

l know l'm lucky to at least have it and all , with the housing crisis and so many in worser positions , l just never dreamed l'd be living on it though and honestly, just don't know but it looks like l might be forced to.

l grew up in the city and have lived in some of the nicest places in the country but to have to settle on this place out there now- look the property itself is a really cute block and in a nice little back street- if l could put it on a truck to somewhere else it'd be really nice - but this town.

rx

[randomxx]

Anyway, on this place, God l just don't bloody know.

lt's one thing to say to myself time time and bla bla, but it is worrying me, it's a bloody big thing.

Started a thread in another forum back while l was still away , it's just a forum not a MH forum. A busy one though and a lot of people chipped in but 90% of the thoughts were that l'm lucky to have this place especially as l wanna finish work and staying here means l could , not to mention living scott free.

A lot of them even thought the 50k ea way once or twice a wk wasn't bad at all either considering that'd be my only cost and that l'd be retired so probably feel like the outs and getting up to my main, could be good.

Lot of people also reminded that many retires don't even have a place so l was lucky to at least have something , even if the towns not perfect and adding to that it was also a really nice little place to boot plus l've got a brother 15mins away plus a sister to about the same

And l suppose they're all huge points too aren't they .

ldk. 

That other block l found, it's really beautiful actually but then so is this one and it's in a lovely spot. lt's little towns only 1/2 this one so even deader butttt, you could use the main from there anytime you want so that's the trade off.

Whether it'd be worth the hassle though for another spot like this one only 15mins closer in, dk !

Finding the night time loneliness out here just terrible, but that one would be no different maybe worse as it's even smaller.

Weird thing though before l left my house the loneliness there was as bad as here really and although l was in quite a daytime busy little town, the nights were no better and l was living and feeling exactly the same as l am here.

l know l should be just trying to damn relax on all this for aa bit longer. l've done well in that l've done all the things l needed tto come back for, plus some, whaat to do with my situation and this place is the only the thing left. Doesn't look like it's gonna sell either less l drop the price, a lot. Can't afford to do that and it's already a very fair price anyway.

rx

[Eagle Ray]

Hi rx,

Yes, lots of probs with the forum for a few days but I think it's all working again now.

It's 34 years since I visited your main town so I'm sure it's way bigger now. I have just a brother left from my immediate family and I have some contact with a few other relatives. In my case, I don't think they care much about what I do, like I don't feel any pressure from them to live anywhere particular. So I'm sort of a free agent in that way. I do have one aunty who is quite caring though and does ask me about how I'm going with my living situation. I do understand what you are saying about your family though, and I'm guessing they probably worry that you will be less secure long term if, for example, you chose the vanning lifestyle.

The caravan park idea I'm not sure about as it is a bit more insecure than having your own property. If the park were to close down it means locating elsewhere. If you have a van that's not necessarily too difficult, but if you want to really settle somewhere it might feel insecure. There are people of course who have a small place in a caravan park, like a mini house. Those little places quite appeal to me as I don't need much, but you've still got the insecurity of not owning the land and you have to pay a lease fee to the park. But then certain amenities are taken care of in the environment around you. That's sort of similar to being in a retirement village. Despite still being relatively young, I've even thought about a retirement village with a simple unit and amenities taken care of, especially as I'm dealing with physical and mental health challenges and sometimes that just seems like a less stressful option. But I'd be like the youngest person there and I think I'd feel a bit out of it. Until recently, it's not something I ever thought I'd be contemplating anytime soon.

But back to your vanning option, if you love doing it, then maybe that is your thing? You could go back to renting out your cabin/property, though I know that has its own hassles. But I'm guessing you may be similar to me in that you are also looking for a sense of belonging and connection somewhere, with both people and place. So I get the balancing act between the idea of moving freely around with the van but wanting perhaps to feel settled and a sense of belonging somewhere too.

I hope you are doing ok with the loneliness? I know that can be really tough. I call helplines at times just to talk to another human. Anyway, it's good you have here to chat. It would be great if maybe in one of the bigger towns where more is happening you could find a bunch of people you connect with, or even just one or two. I have found it just so hard myself to find good connections, but I did meet someone else out on a walk recently who's going through some similar stuff. So I think to some extent its persistence in just continuing to be out in the world and exploring. Having a brother and sister near you is nice anyway. As for 50km commute, it depends how that feels for you. My nearest bigger town is between 43 and 50km depending on which route I take. I guess the drive is sort of meditation and reflection time for me, and it's much nicer than city driving.

Anyway, take care rx. If I disappear for a few days it's just that I'm dealing with a lot and sometimes my brain doesn't work to be able to write here. Sending you support!

[randomxx]

Hiya er and thx for the thoughts. You seemed to have gotten in a normal post ok , see how l go this time.

l like the sound of that u meeting someone else there l mean look u never do know.Just bc my old town never changed that was just that one, somewhere like yours or even this one here for me, who know's. Think l mentioned here met the bloke cross rd few wks back and we've talked a bit since. He's a bushy but also a damn nice bloke and we get along damn well actually, we're actually quite like minded in a lot of ways even though very different to. That alone made me think a lot bc if l happened to know a few people, what a difference that'd make. l don't need many l'm not one of these 50 friends or the whole town types.

l like your taking your time it might be health but it might also be a sign and just who knows right now.

The caravanning thing yeah, as l said way back, atm, l feel like a base now,my own peace of earth, a home, l felt like coming home, to whatever that be, this for now and we see.  l more meant that in the way of if there was no other option but atm there is and it's been quite nice to of late weirdly enough.

lt can have some more time, that's how l planned on handling it and l'll try to follow that through.

Your right about the drive up to the main, it is actually very therapeutic . l've often found that at different times when l've needed to do tips, l use it.

l'll prob be back for round 2 ha ha, but atm still not game doing more, we'll see if this posts.

ps, and no worries whatsoever er, as l said, you take care of you and do whatever you gotta do.

rx

[randomxx]

One of the things really hitting loneliness was that gf ex and l just completely stopped talking a few mths back. We were still chattering along most days/nights like a couple of parrots, sort of broken up but both also still had some hope to. She's got a lot of mh problems though but also a lot of very different views especially on relationships, her culture, well, all that sort of come to a head. lt'd been building but anyway so completely stopping now first time ever, has pretty well been like breaking up all over again last few mths and very sad.

So that's all been in the mix to but we wound up touching base a few days ago, first time in mths and l'm glad we did bc her ways and views were so obvious now after this time apart, and they've gotten even worse. She's all over the shop worse than she's ever been and so now after this last chat there's finally a kind of closure for me. l couldn't keep dealing with her stuff l know that now and seeing all that so much clearer now and how bad she's becoming, has made a big different for my state of mind and l'm feeling a lot better.

At any rate, starting to think l'm better of just making the most of this place. Doesn't look like it's gonna sell anytime soon anyway so l might not have a choice anyway.

Been really enjoying coming and going upto our main time up there and back to the little haven here.  Starting to entertain the idea of maybe doing that build and to hell with it. ldk. Compared to alternitives and considering how nice it is just out here at the lace itself, welllll !

Been quietly looking at the cabin , what l could do with it, extending from that, ldk, like property atm, l'm just browsing / flirting with the idea, we see.

Not feeling it for you and some retirement village style though er sorry to say but as you say, you'd also be way the youngest there. There's quite a few of them scattered about up here and you notice them all in your coming and going, see them about , coming in and out of their complexes or whatever you'd call them, it all seems so kinda artificial. 

Weird life, weird feel, but when you see an older person or couple just coming and going out of their own front gate or driveway, their own house, yard, garden, that seems far more a natural life to me. 

At any rate.

Take care er.

rx

[randomxx]

Seriously considering Tony's option 2 of late, so there ya go Tony if you happen to drop in. Thanks again for those thoughts it was a huge help especially as we're fairly similar in property and lifestyle.

Few reasons but as l was saying er, have found that one v nice block 15mins closer to our main l could manage if l could sell this place but there are trade offs left and right and  really, l don't think it'd be worth all the new work and hassle as compared really to where l am and this place now really.

Sooo, anyway, just as a way of feeling it out and tossing ideas round l drew up a rough design of how l could extend the cabin here instead and it could be really really nice. Quite unique and special really actually, which l really like. Soooo, just atm anyway, swaying a bit back to that way of late.

Er something might be of help to you out to btw. l looked up a bit about what sort of situations people in general are happiest as we get older.

As in just renting, verses owning, units , houses, all sorts of things come up.

Really interesting though and pretty helpful to actually.

You might find it helpful to so if interested should tried a bit of reading up on all that stuff when in the mood, it could help you out.

Take care

rx

[Eagle Ray]

Dear rx,

I’m glad you’ve got the nice bloke across the road. I do think once we have a few people around us who we really feel comfortable with that it makes such a difference. I’m in Perth and caught up with two friends last night who are the nicest people and it lifted me no end. They are really on the same page and it’s just so nice to be able to talk easily with like-minded people. It does make me wonder if I’m meant to be back in the city as I have people here I feel connected with. But I also think, like you say, it’s not about needing to be a whole town person if in a town. It’s just needing a few good friends.

That’s really understandable feeling the loneliness more since you and your ex gf stopped communicating. It sounds like you are on different paths and it’s good if you have some sense of closure after touching base again. It’s not easy of course because the catch ups were probably comforting at some level and, as you say, kept some hope going for a while. But it does sound like you are ready to move on and are seeing new ways forward. Along with the housing situation, it’s something that’s been sitting in that space of uncertainty, so it’s good to feel some closure.

It’s great if you can envision doing something with the cabin. It could be a pretty interesting creative project. You could create something that’s uniquely yours and tailored to how you want to live. Tony may well have some thoughts and ideas after putting his own home together. 

The retirement village idea was linked to the thought that it might just make things easier, especially financially, but I like a feeling of autonomy too and I might feel too enmeshed in something that may not really fit me and feel like I’m less free somehow. Someone I know who is a decade older than me is keen to move to one, as someone else takes care of the gardens etc and he’s so tired of doing that and maintenance at his place, but his wife says she’s not ready for a retirement village yet.

Thanks for the suggestion on reading up on what helps people to be happy as they get older. I will look into it. I certainly know connection with people is very important as well as being comfortable with surroundings. I’m creatively minded too and love being around creative energy. Last night I went to the David Byrne concert and he’s 73 and still totally immersed in creativity. Apart from playing and writing music he’s done art in so many different forms. Last night’s concert was like a combo of a pop concert, musical, dance performance, film, photo exhibition, storytelling and even comedy elements, all in one show. I love things like that and I know creative stuff is so important to my mental health.

Anyway, take care and have fun with the house plans rx

[randomxx]

Hiya dear er. Really nice that you've gotten down to Perth again atm, touched base with friends, concerts and the vibes in general for a bit sounds like good timing for you to atm.

Def get your retirement village thing l'd feel the same myself but also def to l get the tossing up of all things financially as well. Couldn't handle one of those either but yeah, have been thinking about some other situation like units or something else as you know to. ldk, right situation, setup, positioning , l might even prefer it.

Shame l didn't get a few more longer periods up at gf's Sydney place as a bit of a better test run. 

Speaking of yeah, hopefully some closure on it all with her/us, some days yeah some no, v up and down. Still really miss our constant chatter and support though. lt was way more than just catch up we were pretty well still just us but long distance, the couple but alas, at the same time we were suppose to be broken up so it wasn't too healthy if all that's not leading anywhere. l know it butttt, still  !

Doing something with this place haaaa, don't worry, your talking to an ex artist here , one thing l;m never short of is ideas and imagination. Shutting myself up is the problem on that stuff. As l use to say, an artists head is a dangerous place.

Butttt, alas on that one too. ldk, it's not really me even living here tbh, a bit like you seeing the old er when your back in Perth.

l dunno, it's all about financial and what's actually in your hands now, mine, so to speak is all though- as compared to what else l could do/manage.

l could do such a classic place here, was just showing my brother tonight, but ldk, the living here, on bad days l'm kidding myself but on goods it'd be an option l guess is all , and a pretty cool one in many ways for sure. But is it me, would l be happy ? Those to are a no and an l don't know.

rx 

[Eagle Ray]

Hey rx,

Yes, units can potentially be good, though I have to admit I wish I had got a house now instead of a unit. In this town there were no houses I could afford. There was a two bedroom house in another town that I did really like actually. I am finding the strata politics a bit stressful here (mainly one resident here who is creating real problems). It’s really important with units to be aware of the strata costs per year too. They can vary quite a bit. But on the upside, something smaller can be easier to manage than a full house and yard. I fluctuate all the time in how I feel about things and have to admit I’m very uncertain what to do in the future, so feel I need to stay put until things become clearer.

Yes, it would be really hard missing the company and connection with the ex gf, even though it didn’t seem to be going anywhere. Sometimes it is possible to maintain a friendship and I don’t know if that would be possible? Some friends of mine were a couple and are no longer but remain friends and still do stuff together. But in your case the long distance did make it hard. I guess it would be a case of communicating through feelings etc and working out if there was a healthy way to stay in touch and connected. But it also sounds like closure was something that made you feel better, so maybe that is better- idk.

It sounds like you are excited about creative possibilities for the place on the one hand, but unsure if it’s really for you on the other. This stuff is hard to work out isn’t it! I am finding I can only take things a day at a time at the moment. I’m having to do some work on myself first really in order to get the clarity about my future. I was talking with someone yesterday who is renting in a nearby town and if her rent goes up in a few months she could be homeless and really isn’t sure there will be another place she can live. It’s so tough now. I almost offered for her to stay here, but I do have a tendency to try to help everyone including people I’ve just met and have to think things through. But I just feel so sorry for people now. If I didn’t get this place in 2022 and was still renting and in my old circumstances, I’d really be in trouble now. So I do appreciate what I have very much.

Well it’s a sunny day here today, warm but not too hot. I hope you are doing ok with all the heat in Victoria? Take care anyway, er

[randomxx]

Nice timing thx er, really needed to come in here tonight and get thoughts out.

Gf ex though, nah, just not a healthy place we either need to be on or off, there's just too much there for us both to be in some midway thing. Hurts her, hurts me.

lt's not about distance we could easily close that gap, just differences. When l say closure well, it;s her problems they've actually grown not improved and l just think nah, as much as l love her goods l can't do it any more. Long story.

But gees, that unit stuff, God almighty , what a pain, it's not right either seems as you own the place. looks like l'm safe though as this place hasn't sold and l can't buy anything if it doesn't anyway.

But nah, not exited about any build here just yet or carried away planning/designing er. Just some basics, a drawing or two to help with feeling things out while l make up my mind really. 

But l dunno, this is not good , l know, it's not good at all, the exact opposite of how we should be feeling buttttt, there are times l feel sick at the thought of staying in this town. Such low days/nights, not healthy or nice at all but others well, some even quite nice. lt's everywhere but l do know one thing, staying is def' not what l'd be choosing if the choice. 

That's my issue, l know what l'd do if a choice, unit house some other build area whatever just browsing and it'd come to me. But alas, no use even browsing unless this sold damn.

Bout the only idea l can come up with is go rent somewhere to live somewhere else or take off vanning again, leave it up for sale viewers can just come take a look and maybe one day it does sell. ldk.

Stay and persist, ldk. Yeah l feel like a home again but often l just wanna get outa here to.

What your saying about the friend though, ya see, on the other hand, this is it isn;t it. We're both so lucky to at least have something, it;'s mad out there, these idiot hopeless governments are destroying our country anyone having something right now is lucky even if it doesn;t feel like it.

l dunno.

[randomxx]

ps, it is hard though for sure yah l know. l'm glad your not doing anything right now yaknow the saying, if you don't know what to do don't do anything but eh, l should be listening to that one myself to l know.