Would really appreciate peoples thoughts on a housing situation !

[randomxx]

Hi to all.

lt's an unbelievable time in life to find myself stuck in this position, just don't know how to look at it, or what to do about with it, if l can anything at all. 

Problem is, at almost 60, yeah l've mixed up details in other threads just a bit concerned some l know may also be here and haven't wanted any connection here that l might know, butttt, yep.

Thing is l didn't get anything out of my last house, the people l went into the property with as it was a big place, went broke.

Well , sort of lucky although maybe a curse , not sure anymore but l do still have a 1ac country property, 18yrs now, from back when l was married.

l can't work anymore for mh reasons but if l took care l can survive until l can get the pension- living at the 1ac place- it only has a small over nighter atm but l could extend and it'd come up quite nice .

Problem is, it's in a ting town, 30mins to the main town which is a really nice place and there's also a couple of tiny ones in between before that main buttttt, out where this place is, is tiny and out on it's own .

l always planned selling it about now but problems are now that for 1, even if it did sell, it's just a cheap little country block it'd only be a good deposit on something closer in- but circumstances now that'd mean a new mortgage and l'd have to keep working too, don't think l could stomach either of those especially the stress in trying to make it happen.

2nd thing highly possible it doesn't even sell anyway.

l know l'm lucky to at least have it and all , with the housing crisis and so many in worser positions , l just never dreamed l'd be living on it though and honestly, just don't know but it looks like l might be forced to.

l grew up in the city and have lived in some of the nicest places in the country but to have to settle on this place out there now- look the property itself is a really cute block and in a nice little back street- if l could put it on a truck to somewhere else it'd be really nice - but this town.

rx

[randomxx]

Yeah l know everything your feeling about things and the torn. l try to stay positive for you though bc maybe an open mind there helps, time, maybe things change, surprise in time. Your not ready right now either to do anything anyway or make any choices l know but you know what, that's a good thing l reckon. You've got the time er, what's even another 12 mths, or 6 or whatever right now right. At least if later you do still decide to get out you can know you were satisfied in giving it a good shot right so there'd be no shoulda coulda.

My end, l dunno. l know everything l don't even know what the hell l'm writing for , spose l hope something comes of it or works it through. lt is helpful and also nice to though stumbling across you here too ironically going through the same thing. So it's an outlet we can bounce ides and thoughts around l guess and go in our circles ha ha , rather than laying it on family or friends.They know where l'm at but l don't go into the roller coaster it really is, it stays short and not so sweet.

Tell ya something sorta funny. l'm thinking before l got back. l'm gonna finish that damn job l started 3mths ago when l''m back and if it's done and l'm paid before easter ends , l stay and with that money l start building, l'll call it a sign.

Well, l got paid today, bloody hell.  🤣

Wasn't anything really left to do l just didn't feel like dealing with business made the call though anddddd,  all done.

So by rights l should be sticking to the agreement l made with myself right.

Hmmmm. 

But anyway yeeeppp. We're in the same sitch same problems same reasons my friend l'm afraid. l do trckon yours is a bit better though bc at least your bloody towns bigger and has at least something, and aren't you near the beach - that's a biggie.

But eh, sadly l know a town just a little bit bigger can bring new problems bc of that to soooo.

l'll say one thing about here been a lot of new places up for sale lately here. People have been subdividing and a few have sold too. So with the mad market out there these days , these are the times new blood starts turning up if the properties are around bc they're all out there searching for an alternative to.

lt's weird really bc if it happened to work like that here, it did in the next town over from here but now their properties gone up a lot and there;s a ton of new people from all over there lately- mine could be next.

Ofc it might not be too, damn.

Scuse the ramble.

rx

[randomxx]

l hope the new meds help too btw er, good luck with that eh and l'm sorry you've had some rough wks.

I hoped for a light bulb moment while l was away and wondered to how l'd feel driving back in the gate when l got back.

As l was saying made that little deal with myself about that work job and building, being my last job and not done from back in the day back at my work at the old house, was a bit of a weird one you see. Could've gone either way buttt, l did get it done. So , now what huh, me and me deal 😅

Mind you, l am leaning slightly toward a just do it thing and as you say the insane market out there, my God.

l've still been scanning a little, enough to see anything new, a bargain within my range, on market and this is over a 200km stretch/radius mind you, between my main and way down the coast and over to the central Vic area l also like.

There has been new stuff l could manage over in central Vic but my stretch along the coast here and all the way down- not one. There is new stuff but in my price range, not one. Even if there was though anyway, l'd still be back to the whole selling restarting thing to even manage it anyway and that sickly feeling again.

Doesn't mean that one off wouldn't come up though so alternatively l've thought alright if l'm so stuck just bloody sell the place and be done. Then wait for that one off- if l was looking more seriously l'd probably turn something up. ld bloody know.

Just excepting what l have here and getting started, is soooo much easier.

At any rate, what l wanted to tell you was that town just over from here that took off, that's my brothers town. lt was a terrible place 20yrs ago, very very die hard local country stuff. But it was the cheapest area by far anywhere up here. Well, Melb went crazy, people started looking regional and now that town is half Melb and from all over people and prices have also tripled.

So now my town here is the cheapest and there's a lot of new stuff on the market and everywhere else RE is even madder, soooo- well, never know.

That's also happening over in my old town to lately, apparently it's the highest selling regional town up here this yr. It use to be the second cheapest and very die long term hard locals, lot of new people now though apparently. l know others it's happened to too.

Buttttt, alas. and so it continues, l know ! You are lucky in that you have more time though, although l know your wrestling with health stuff too buttttt, another yr or two prob wouldn't matter much for ya so you could see how you go l guess. And eh , that Perth crash might come along.

But yeah, l fell the same, you summed it up. 

Take care of yourself, no pressure, you have the time.

rx

[randomxx]

Well, l've reached a decision.

2 days ago l decided to start 6post holes . lf l was building l'd need to move the Pergola over a bit and that needs 6 post holes to do.

l've been thinking about this wks and planned on starting this one thing first before l spend any money or do anything else on building and it'd have to be done first of all anyway so.

l knew working out there facing the road and front for a few days, would also be giving me a real feel for this while l was at it.

This place up the top is as hard as concrete you see so 6 holes without a machine is a few days work. You gotta dig a bit, fill it with water, come back later, dig more, then fill it with water again and on you go until they're deep enough.lt's the only way you'll get through it.

Well, the holes are only half done and even that half like everything else l've ever done here was done with no soul or love or passion, it's always been the same doing anything here. l just push myself to do whatever it is.

And so as l've watched and looked around and felt over this last few days, it's the same as it always is, 18yrs, nothing, empty, l feel nothing.

lt's pretty and in that way l do, but in wanting to be here, nope, zilch, nada !

l don't wanna build here bc l just don't like it here, l don't wanna live here.

Doesn't matter how l sugar coat it, comes out the same everytime.

[randomxx]

The lounge and kitchen, living, would be exactly in front of where l've been working on the holes. So whatever l'm feeling and seeing from working on the holes and pergola for a wk or so would be exactly the same as what l'd be feeling and living from the lounge and kitchen later, that'd be life, everyday.

My couch and views outside would be exactly 2 mtrs away from where l'm working.

l would be one v unhappy Vegemite. 

[randomxx]

This work l'm doing this wk, will take about a wk, or l can string it out to 2 or 3, whatever.

But l think l'll keep going with it, l've now got big 1mtr deep holes everywhere anyway sooooo, l may as well finish the job.

Been thinking though just go on with this one, let it play out. Such a roller coaster and back and forth mentally , more time who knows what l feel next day, wk, mth.

Trouble is, anything else, starting over, still makes me feel sick to the stomach. Just about anyone that knows my sitch though have said fk it , just stay there. You've got it made if you just stay there. Finances, no bills ever, money in the back, lovely little property- and they're right on that that is for sure. Staying just fixes everything- it all just goes away forever.

l keep thinking about acceptance, acceptance can change huge things and your frame of mind. 

[white knight]

Hi rx

Acceptance... ive written about it on this forum but its more about accepting yourself Accepting yourself -

Beyond Blue Forums - 33555 https://share.google/5GyGo3r0NnkYb1q1m

What Ive found about accepting where we lived, what occupation we have, challenges etc is usually part of our makeup. Eg some other people might think your town and house is paradise and those holes you're digging are another step in completing a task. But thats them, not you and thats the difference that nobody can judge. There's zero wrong with your feeling about anything.

Alternatively when someone needs to adjust their thoughts due to discontentment then the goal would be a refocus on those natural feelings for a purpose- not a complete change. This often happens to many people, they sell up to move to a nearby larger town for all the reasons under the sun, shops, larger grocery store, clubs, hardware, aged care, medical. Even the ground might be more fertile for veggies, trees and green grass watered with town water.

Once I decide to move house all my enthusiasm drops in maintaining that house, same with selling a car. In fact its along the same feelings you have

The housing situation is a difficult issue for you but I'd stop short of it being a problem because remaining there won't create a problem eg debt. Waiting can also have the benefit of making up your mind fully over time eg your health might deteriate in a couple of years that might be the trigger to sell up.

So, in summary, staying there isnt going to create any further discomfort than it is and will remain so. A refocus on more positive aspects of life could distract you from the topic however. 

TonyWK

[Eagle Ray]

Hi rx and Tony,

I think Tony is on the right path in terms of if you stay there, at least temporarily, you are not putting yourself under pressure for an imminent decision. And if your town takes off like your brother's town has, the price for your cabin and land may significantly increase and put you in a better position if you do sell.

So perhaps focussing on some things you can control and work on at the moment will be a helpful distraction, and it sounds like the current job you've just started may be helpful in that way. And maybe finding some other external outlets, such as finding some more opportunities to connect with others, may be helpful. I'm really trying to do that myself, make more of those human connections, because I do find it really helps how I feel.

One thing I've been really learning lately is the idea of radical acceptance, which is radically accepting things I may not be able to change at the moment. I have found that leads to a weight lifting off me when I can manage to do it. I'm slowly getting better at it. It doesn't mean you have to accept things that feel really wrong, but when there is something that is, or feels, too difficult or problematic to change right now, just radically accepting that reality can be a relief and frees you up to focus on other things.

Like Tony said, how you feel is not something others can judge. It's more about what you can find that helps you to feel better and there's nothing wrong with how you feel, it's just how you are feeling right now. I think accepting yourself that way can be good too. I'm on that learning curve myself.

Hugs,

ER

[randomxx]

Gday Tony , and thku v much for that thread and the other thoughts.

Tell you what , the thread was so on the money and strikes home on many fronts.

But it never ceases to amaze for example the bully, or those that can't understand us, yet we're often way way over their actual head ourselves and have more awareness in one finger. He couldn't even comprehend your thoughts and conceptions, they couldn't.  To me that's why they're the way the are, bc there's no depth or ability to see below the surface and so no empathy, comprehension. But our depth and sensitivity which they just don't get is the very thing they're missing and the reason they just can't.

l'll have to have a better read later. 

One reason l've never felt much here goes way back. When l first got the place ex and l had no money. Had to scrounge every piece of wood or petrol money, minute, just to get here. That right through bc we had our own place too which was a massive job and there was jut no time or anything else left, so anything here was rushed and broke and a kind of locked in a subconscious theme right through, a bit of resentment to the place too l've realized that's carried right through to this day mentally.

l remember spinning the wheels out the gate leaving, glancing up, hmm, nice place this , and boom racing back home again to get a minute with my family and back to it on our place there or work or whatever else.

Gotta retrain myself now that there is no hurry and there's money and time. 

The cars, moving , yeah l see what you mean, kinda reverse to here for me now mentally and that l don't have to. Been a total twilight mentally l can tell ya. 18yrs of one way but now this and life itself is also all opposite.

That refocus, yeah, what l've been thinking too. 

l think l respect other peoples thoughts and view from an outside uncluttered looking in perspective , far more than my own atm. 

Thanks very much as always Tony and your right you know. Staying put won't create a problem, contrary it'd actually fix many in fact and t'd be worth a lot more later to if l wasn't happy anyway soooo. l think we're getting somewhere.   🤣

All the best . rx

[randomxx]

Hya er , and thx very much as always, l hope your rolling ok.

But yeah, an acceptance is a huge thing in life isn't it especially at this stage. lt's always been a big problem for me, l'd be selling up or moving state at the drop of a hat instead through the past. l'd often watch other people content with their lot and know l needed soma that. 

ironically Tony up there's been way ahead of the pack and even wrote a thread about it way back when.

l've realized lately, l've needed for a long long long time to respect life and opportunity , life's offerings, with a bit more bloody respect. lt's always been a fault of mine and things would be v v different as we speak lf l'd learnt that lesson 30yrs ago. 

But anyway, that's a nice idea er. Funny thing, l got back last wk and couldn't wait to see my main town again and l was really interested in the feel too especially so freshly from the Murray again, just like coming in the gate back again here too.

Well, l finally got there yesterday and it was really bloody nice.  Bit of a light bulb moment to be honest. The town, our history, the beach , the people l've become use to and the pace, it was really nice. Later coming back l'm think so wth is wrong with that nah, l don't really wanna leave this area now, it's nice to be use to something for the first time in my life. l don't want change anymore.

OK , l can't be 5 mins out butttt, what can l do, at least that keeps it fresh anyway right. 

Many hugs er, hope your doin ok.

rx

[randomxx]

l've almost finished getting the poles back in and that means that the house spot, well, more an extension, is ready to go. 

Actually bar my brother still has to take a tree out that's smack in the middle of the new lounge spot, one of my favourites l planted about 10yrs ago damn it. Gotta be 100% sure before l touch that one really love this tree but sadly it would have to go.

But damn it, my thoughts are still so on off about it all and staying. Being here full time this last 4mths now has been such an emotional all over the place, l dunno.

I wish l could just stay solid about the idea though damn it. lt'll be time to start buying materials after the tree's done and ready to go. No turning back then bc l have nowhere here to store that amount if l changed my mind again, not to mention the costs, bloody hell. Not that l'd be planning on changing it again if l got that far that's for sure, no turning back then l guess but l've just been so on off, it's still a bit of a worry.

lt's mainly just about the location, that's it, any worry just comes in all around that. Like the 50k drive to the main, the smallness of this one, would l be single forever or not make a friend or two, if so it might be pretty miserable out here it's all that sorta stuff, is it too far for my d would l hardly see her.

Location's a huge thing but ldk wth else l can do, l just don't. l know l couldn't go through selling rebuying restarting all this again at this stage just don;t have it in me but this place is 3/4 done and there's zero debt. 

lf l could even find something without going into debt again but whatever the case it'd all take a yr- 2 , to be at somewhere new and near when l'm already at here right now without having to do anything much apart from extend.

l don;t have the money to buy am established house or something been scanning there's nothing even close to what l could spend , even if l got a bit more for this one later say l built 1st then sold. doing this one would also be it anyway if l did, no more gas in the old tank after that so if l did wanna move later it'd have to be a house or unit but there's nothing anyway even close.

Scuse yet another rant in circles.lt's suppose to help getting it out.

rx