Would really appreciate peoples thoughts on a housing situation !

[randomxx]

Hi to all.

lt's an unbelievable time in life to find myself stuck in this position, just don't know how to look at it, or what to do about with it, if l can anything at all. 

Problem is, at almost 60, yeah l've mixed up details in other threads just a bit concerned some l know may also be here and haven't wanted any connection here that l might know, butttt, yep.

Thing is l didn't get anything out of my last house, the people l went into the property with as it was a big place, went broke.

Well , sort of lucky although maybe a curse , not sure anymore but l do still have a 1ac country property, 18yrs now, from back when l was married.

l can't work anymore for mh reasons but if l took care l can survive until l can get the pension- living at the 1ac place- it only has a small over nighter atm but l could extend and it'd come up quite nice .

Problem is, it's in a ting town, 30mins to the main town which is a really nice place and there's also a couple of tiny ones in between before that main buttttt, out where this place is, is tiny and out on it's own .

l always planned selling it about now but problems are now that for 1, even if it did sell, it's just a cheap little country block it'd only be a good deposit on something closer in- but circumstances now that'd mean a new mortgage and l'd have to keep working too, don't think l could stomach either of those especially the stress in trying to make it happen.

2nd thing highly possible it doesn't even sell anyway.

l know l'm lucky to at least have it and all , with the housing crisis and so many in worser positions , l just never dreamed l'd be living on it though and honestly, just don't know but it looks like l might be forced to.

l grew up in the city and have lived in some of the nicest places in the country but to have to settle on this place out there now- look the property itself is a really cute block and in a nice little back street- if l could put it on a truck to somewhere else it'd be really nice - but this town.

rx

[Eagle Ray]

Hi rx,

I imagine someone has kayaked all the way along the Yarra. In Perth there are two main rivers, the Swan River and Canning River. The Canning River has some really nice sections that are quite wild and you can feel you are in a wilderness even though it's in suburban Perth. I haven't kayaked on it myself, but explored it with my camera doing bird and landscape photography, and kayakers go past a fair bit. It's a beautiful place to be at sunrise actually. Did you do a lot of kayaking at sunrise? I know some photographers go out on a kayak at that time and get some amazing shots on the water (always a bit of a risk of the camera ending up in the water of course).

I really relate to and empathise with your situation regarding the cabin. I am the same with my place - it needs work and much just broke in the first months I was here. The previous owners would have been aware that certain things needed maintenance but I imagine hoped they could sell without doing it, and I just wasn't in the right head space when I bought it to realise the level of maintenance it would need and the cost. I totally get the dilemma of wondering how much to invest in the cabin and not being sure if it will sell. It's hard having something that sits in that iffy space isn't it. 

I totally understand you being happy in the van. I would be too. I recently stayed in a donga-style room for one person on my way back from Perth in a caravan park, and when I'm just in a small space like that and very few things except my bag or suitcase, I'm actually at my most content. It feels better than being in my unit or a house with stuff around. It's like life is simple and cosy. You could ask your daughter how she feels, but I think if you are happy that's the most important thing. Perhaps she just worries for you a bit, like she feels a bit protective, and perhaps you can reassure her that you are happy being in the van. 

I totally understand about the rentals. It's never been so expensive nor so tight. I am unbelievably fortunate to have got a place when I did, otherwise I'd still be in that market and it would be so hard to survive. So, yeah, I think you are better still being where you are. It would just eat up so much financially to be renting. If you did want to spend some time somewhere else, there are housesitting organisations which usually involve caring for a pet, but that could be one way of getting out to a different place for a while, somewhere that you want to check out and spend some time. The housesitting stints can be a few days to months, depending what you're looking for. It would have to match your needs and be a pet you want to look after.

In terms of looking for a new place to potentially buy, have you thought about a unit somewhere instead of a house? There would be probably a few more options financially. The downside is having to pay strata fees which can vary greatly from place to place, depending on the type of residential complex and what features it has. That's just another thought, in that you might be able to find a lock up and leave type of place more easily. I'm in a unit now but I still have to do a lot of maintenance with the garden. I used to really enjoy gardening but I struggle with it now, and realise it would have been easier with a very minimal yard with just a few pot plants.

Those are just some thoughts anyway. I feel very uncertain about everything myself, so I empathise with trying to work it all out.

Take care,

er

[randomxx]

Hiya er, hope your ok. Didn't mean to put you to any effort in last rant encase your not well or whatever, just thinking outloud really. Butttt, seems as you've dropped in do really appreciate the feedback and thoughts, know your really good at all that stuff ha ha.

Those rivers sound lovely yeah the Yarra still has patches of native and turns into bushland further out. Lots of people kayak it . lt's always been a Melb laugh though that you wouldn't wanna swim in it- or fall out. The rowing athletes train on it everyday to you'll always see them.

Yeah d totally gets it, we talked just this morng actually bout that very thing lots of others to but yeah took your tip and ran this stuff by her to. She was great though, couldn't blame me makes no sense throwing money around or renting right now till l suss things out , exactly nail on the head.So l was really glad we cleared that up just encase.

Your spot on though to in what you were saying, l've wanted to minimal yrs now and the way you put it is to a T. That was one of the most beautiful things about being of vanning, so nice, such peace, the compact life is surreal. Made you wonder why we people lives after big grand lifestyles, houses and crap, yaknow, really does. Well this nows just a continuation is all, pretty simple stuff it's not rocket science but bloody family don't seem to be able to get their head around it though and l never see most of them they're hrs away but been getting little bits coming back to me thoroughly gives me the shyts. lf they have no clue then bloody call me if they really wanna know , yaknow.

Funny you mention units, dunno if l talked about that alternative earlier here but yeah that's another option l'd been thinking about. Even staying up at gf ex's in Sydney was a subconscious trial run really bc l realized how hassle free it was after the massive properties and crap l've had. Really liked it but it was only a mth or two a time and always felt heaven getting back to my house though to sooooo, l need a longer trial run before any decisions.

But yeah, couldn't really be bothered as yet ha ha but have browsed a bit, few blocks, no houses my rpice range, 1 unit cept a similar situations and towns to where l am here so l'd may as well stay here in that case butttt, we see.

That one is tempting though bc l could build a great place here cash, no hassles and not have to go back to work and it is a lovely spot. lf it was closer in damn it l'd be in business.

Anywayyyy, not stressin, just feeling about a little as l go while onto other stuff l've needed to get on top of. Been quite nice actually.

How you doin anyway, you ok, or shouldn't l ask?  if not no problemo totally get it.

Take care though eh.

rx

[Eagle Ray]

Hey rx,

Yes, I've heard about the thing about not wanting to fall in the water in the Yarra. It certainly has more of a muddy appearance than the Swan and Canning Rivers in Perth which are much wider. Dolphins come up the Swan and Canning and you even have to look out for bull sharks. 

That's really good you got to talk with your daughter about things. And, yes, I value the idea of minimal so much now. I am happiest when I am mobile actually, just me and a suitcase staying in small spaces. Maybe I should be in a mobile home! But I think it's like you say with your situation, even considering a unit, that if you can then a decent trial run is a good idea before making any big decisions. With units come strata fees and also closer proximity to neighbours, the latter which can be good or bad depending how things go. I'm pretty much locked out of the house option now unless I move to a remote town where houses are cheaper, so it will probably be another unit if I do move. This one has quite good separation from neighbours with a garage between and a backyard with a garden. I really appreciate the garden on one level, but find it an effort to maintain as well and feel like I'm not doing a great job of it.

Anyway, it's good you're not stressing and just feeling things out. I think things can kind of unfold in a good way by just gently following your intuition as you go along.

I'm sort of ok. It's very hard to explain. I have really tough hours in the day and much better ones. It's linked to a trauma-related dissociative disorder I have and I go through flashbacks for periods of time that are unpredictable and uncontrollable. So all of that makes working out my future more difficult as I feel like I'm just surviving the present. But it helps to keep reflecting on things and it's nice chatting with you as I know you are in a bit of a similar situation in terms of working out a future home.

You take care too rx

[randomxx]

Hya er , as l say don't feel any need to talk about things here but l was wondering, did a thread help , or any of the threads around here related to your thing or ? l'd imagine there'd be quite a few round here dealing with similar or do you see somebody.

l know sometimes things are better left for me personally, l hate dragging anything up that's best left alone- for me anyway but l know others say it helps, very individual .

D and l have talked about the sitch before and ofc l explained when l was comming back and she's been no worries gets it all but you know, sometimes you feel well, anyway.

As for me don't worry , all talk about the how to handle things on one hand ofc we know inside let things play out but eh, don't worry l also stress a lot to. lt's one thing knowing isn't it, another applying that though, talks cheap right.

Lately tbh, lots of stressing to on bad days ha- and nights. Been a few of those let me tell ya but others it's trying the good old head in sand and to be patient, let things play out, yaknow. So l keep telling myself.

You take care

rx

[randomxx]

Ah yeah, just on the unit thing to and thanks for that er.

But yeah fees are a worry and even actually paying rent which l hate to think how much that'd need to be near my main town.

And then to yeah privacy, which l'm very big on, as well as freedom, all tricky without the right situation in a unit aren't they. l'd def need the right situation. Gf ex's was bad in all that but there were units next door ideal in those ways, really liked that building and it's layout.

Butttt, was thinking about it financially yesterday to. l mean l can live here scott free, a small rates p/yr and that's it. No bills, no water, have solar have tanks. All means l could stop work and survive pretty comfortably until l get the pension and l just don't feel up to working anymore.

lt is a big thing bc realizing yesterday, as l say l've been trying not to bother too much as yet but l did do some sums and ohhhh. A unit would mean all that money l could be saving ea yr and surviving without having to work, be out the window and l'd probably have to go back to work p/t time just to sav a bit. Where as staying here not only costs free but l could also even save quite a bit over time before the pension.

So it's a weird scenario really bc who would even be considering paying all that money somewhere else instead and probably even needing to go back to work- would l have rocks in the head or what, yaknow .

l;m glad l finally faced the music and at least did some numbers though bc it's all a big thing isn't it.

lf l could sell this and find a block within a certain price, financially l could be much better off that way than a unit bc l could wangle all the big stuff and still come out in a similar sitch to here now. Still seems silly in a way though when l already have all that right here and without all that huge hassle that'd take 18mths of work and money resetting up.

No hope of an already established house l'm afraid after browsing in anywhere l had in mind closer in, or a unit either. lt's have to be back to work and the bank and a new mortgage, damn it.

[randomxx]

Ya know, one of the biggest reasons things are so confusing right now is bc l've always gone on feel. l knew l'd meet my ex w, knew l had to go up and stay at the family property for a certain amount of time, knew if l did that she was there somewhere. 12mths later, we met. There's been many things, some saved my life.

But feels have been blocked a few decades now bc married you can't always do what you know you need to. And then later you have a family, same, then later gf ex situation, feels have been restricted for a long long time.

l hoped while away my feel would come back but nothing, or since l got back here either this has all been just in the logical thinking sense, the ways normally most people do things.

l've hoped though coming back to here , might bring the feel or some light and weirdly just this last few wks l do feel as if it is coming back.lt isn't that strong or clear though but l do feel l do just need to be here, just do my thing, more time.

lt's hard though isn't when all the logical stuff like money, loved ones, the brain side of us, is at the same time over thinking and doing it's thing to.

[Eagle Ray]

Hi rx,

Thanks, yes, I see a psychologist and ring a helpline for complex trauma from time to time, so those are sources of support for me. A lot of what is coming up for me is involuntary, but I'm slowly learning to navigate my way through.

Yes, I totally know what you mean about talking about not being stressed, only to find that you actually are. When I was in high school I was known for being the "calm" person (ha ha) and I was often helping others to not stress out. Yet, little known to myself, my inner world was a traumatic mess. To this day, I have a part of self that soldiers on positively while other parts of me can be collapsing. I'm trying to integrate this disintegration! But I think if there is a part of you that at least knows something about not being stressed, like there is an awareness, that is a great start. It's like knowing what is healthy, even if it's not always at the forefront of our being.

Yes, the head in sand thing - I get that too. I think I have that with maintenance issues on my home - maybe they will just fix themselves if I turn a blind eye - ha ha. I feel overwhelmed by them and it can feel paralysing, but I know that it's about just one small step at a time and that whole thing about accepting what I can get through and not get through in a given amount of time. I feel for you with the bad days and nights. I often find things can feel worse in the middle of the night and then the mind feels easier about the same thing later the next day. I don't know if this helps for you, but I find if I can get some perspective, a bit like an eagle flying above seeing the lay of the land and not encumbered by it all, it somehow relieves that everyday stress we can get caught up in.

It does sound like your existing set up has many benefits - the low rates, no bills with solar and tanks etc. Would you be able to just use it as a base and then get some time in other places with the van? This morning a video popped up in my YouTube feed entitled "I Quite the Rat Race at 53 With Only £20k Saved" by a guy named Wayne Phipps. It's just one person's take on things, but he realised is health and quality of life was more important that the treadmill of work he was on and he has found other ways to live now outside the pattern he had been following for years. I think checking in with what is healthiest for you across all domains of life is important. It's so easy for us to fulfil other people's expectations of what we think we should be doing, but sometimes it's good to really listen in to ourselves first.

I hear you about doing the numbers too. I have sort of been blundering along in a daze for a while myself. I've found it so difficult to organise myself, but I know I need to work out a bunch of logistics going forward including the costs of different options. So I think it's great you've worked out some of those things and maybe that eases some of the pressure of the decision making for you - that you can see the lie of the land better now.

I'm glad you are getting a bit of a feel for things too now, after feeling like that wasn't happening so much while vanning as you hoped. I really know what you mean about that balance between feeling things out intuitively and the logistical, rational brain. It's like finding the balance with those things isn't it - both are helpful in their own way and if the two things can work together it's a good thing, but sometimes one or the other gets the upper hand.

Anyway, take care rx and we will get there (wherever there is!). I think remembering to enjoy the journey matters too and I have to remind myself of that every day.

[randomxx]

Well, l'm really glad you have those anyway er and it's really nice when you can be here to. lt's not that there's no one else about l don't really care, but we're in such similar sitch's it's just nice us quietly chatting here when your up to it.

Your unit sounds far more than most, saw one the other day sounds similar, pretty well a house really, 2 yards. Block of 4 but space between them so no listening walls, liked it.

But yep, the good old head in sands a must in these crazy times, world as it is but hey, not a bad way at home either at times ha ha. Speaking of your yards and jobs to yeah l could kick myself tbh. l got a new kayak but l've been modifying that but plus the last job for work l took on still going to - bc of the yak stuff now ha ha. Really l wasn't up to any of it mentally, but l really wanted the yak and the last work job well, wishen l didn't but l guess when l get paid hopefully it's a good thing right.

l find when darkness comes the worst. So lonely here, so bad for us and the soul, l know, but what can you do. This place is a kinda bizarre set up. Very private yet right in town. l can see out, see streets, everyone coming and going but no one can see in and on my little street itself they's all 2ac places same l can see them but they can't reALLy see in here.

l use to have people walking in, up my drive and just popping up, so l had to train them, kept the gates closed a mth or so, they seem to have gotten the hint. Just being nosey, checkin me out, no one good ha ha. Have met a bloke round corner though, funny bugger. Real bushy but he's a good bloke, been giving me a bit of town gos and feed back ha ha.

Kinda glad l did at least poke around a little with the numbers, not nice last thing l feel like but with head in sand much of it was just going over my head but yeah, cert put a spin on the perspective to think about now.

l dunno about any feels though tbh er, l do wish, maybe that was it, wishing. Often though l still just feel blank, damn it.

l created a silly Xmas and holidays tbh, with the work job and the yak job, feel messed up, not what l needed, it's all not helping at all. Should've left the yak a;lone and been out on the water instead now that's what l needed and the work job, God ldk. it's messing me up though. Better get a damn good pay out of it is all l can say.

Hugs for er.

rx

[randomxx]

lt's so damn weird here,this lonely feel.

l was just outside it's about 10.30pm. The side streets and town are right there only 50mtrs over, house lights,cars, street lights, the damn pubs only 100mtrs away.

Yet on my place , ldk. lt's the absolute perfect setup really, l made it this way myself with trees l planted 15yrs ago for privacy. Like how hard is it to find 1/2 an ac , in town yet so private, yaknow. Yet now, it has a really nice feel but bc of the privacy which is normally such a must for me, it also feels so lonely , kinda isolated, yet houses and streets right there,well, 50mtrs away. Strange isn't it.

[randomxx]

Ps, there's a lot all over the world quitting the old rat race , yt stuff everywhere, l love all that to. l met or saw about quite a few here while away to. Women and men some at it 10 and 20yrs.

Very big in the UK to atm bc that place has been going down the toilet with prices and costs of living to. But some of them are my fav, they have these house boat setups and just live along all their beautiful canals instead, whata life ! They renovate a canal boat, really nice, different, special. there's a lot of it here to along the Murray, l looked into the house boat life a bit myself actually.