Would really appreciate peoples thoughts on a housing situation !

[randomxx]

Hi to all.

lt's an unbelievable time in life to find myself stuck in this position, just don't know how to look at it, or what to do about with it, if l can anything at all. 

Problem is, at almost 60, yeah l've mixed up details in other threads just a bit concerned some l know may also be here and haven't wanted any connection here that l might know, butttt, yep.

Thing is l didn't get anything out of my last house, the people l went into the property with as it was a big place, went broke.

Well , sort of lucky although maybe a curse , not sure anymore but l do still have a 1ac country property, 18yrs now, from back when l was married.

l can't work anymore for mh reasons but if l took care l can survive until l can get the pension- living at the 1ac place- it only has a small over nighter atm but l could extend and it'd come up quite nice .

Problem is, it's in a ting town, 30mins to the main town which is a really nice place and there's also a couple of tiny ones in between before that main buttttt, out where this place is, is tiny and out on it's own .

l always planned selling it about now but problems are now that for 1, even if it did sell, it's just a cheap little country block it'd only be a good deposit on something closer in- but circumstances now that'd mean a new mortgage and l'd have to keep working too, don't think l could stomach either of those especially the stress in trying to make it happen.

2nd thing highly possible it doesn't even sell anyway.

l know l'm lucky to at least have it and all , with the housing crisis and so many in worser positions , l just never dreamed l'd be living on it though and honestly, just don't know but it looks like l might be forced to.

l grew up in the city and have lived in some of the nicest places in the country but to have to settle on this place out there now- look the property itself is a really cute block and in a nice little back street- if l could put it on a truck to somewhere else it'd be really nice - but this town.

rx

[randomxx]

Yeah l dunno er, we listen to everything really don't we , we're smothered in senses ha ha. But tbh it's as much a mentally and emotional thing really about being here , coming home to here. But it is a very physically unwinding thing too even if your doing stuff around the place it still just has a really chill no fuss incognito way about it which is something l really love.  Country properties often have that feel, an escapism, as apposed to city places and often privacy and life pressures too, escapism they get to you more. Mind you, l have no mail or anything to this place either and so l'm also v incognito in those ways too, love that.And yeah, the nature and peacefulness here is huge here to. Can't believe my trees, l planted them all, 15mtrs high now

But alas, mind you, just a few of the good sides, all the old issues are still here and sadly don't think they're going anywhere but eh at least l enjoy the good bits right.

Anyway , wondered if you'd left yet. Fantastic there ya go hey l'm glad your scratching that itch if your up to it, best way to settle it isn't it. Nice to hear the changes in you too bet the total change from home is worlds away for you huh, you needed soma that atm right.

You might like the far sides along the edges of the hills, mind you l'm very rusty on Melb these days been a long time and it's changed so much but there's lots of nature tucked away or along the bay some of that's gorgeous too.

Anywayyyy, have a nice time

and take care.

rx

[randomxx]

Few mixed words in that one sorry bout that.

Anyway, maybe not great news on the investment side of things it's done ok to normal standards but nowhere near what l hoped damn, mind you it still could into next yr but not holding breath.

Sooooo, dunno what l'm gonna be able to do new place wise bugger. Well, if this one sold l think l could manage but lots of brick kickers and not much action so far. Just tossing up atm but thinking about doing just one job before end of yr, that'd boost things a bit, it'd all help.

Thought of going back to work though hey, not all that keen ha ha, dunno if l could face it but we see.

[Eagle Ray]

It’s all really a tricky juggling act isn’t it, rx. I guess if it’s possible to do the one job that may help you feel better financially. It’s stressful isn’t it, knowing how to manage these things going forward while also taking care of mental health. If it gives you a bit of a feeling of greater confidence and security, and doesn’t take too much out of you, then maybe that would help you to feel there is something constructive you can do towards future goals while you are waiting to see how things go with the property. 

It’s funny you mention the bay as I went for an epic walk along it today. I really enjoyed it actually. There are some one bedroom apartments in some spots near the bay, but I’d want to ideally be on the train line and there are some options there, though the more affordable ones are further out from the city. I’m really realising how I don’t like isolation. I feel like for people with a partner or family being a long way out in the suburbs is more ok, but today I could just feel how that would likely leave me feeling lonely. Anything near the bay is great for a bit of nature and I love the bay trail which is mostly a dirt path through vegetation next to the water, so you feel like you’re away from things a bit. It was a great day for walking - not too hot. But thinking about some inner options too and looking for a sense of community.

Anyway, take care with it all rx. It’s good you’re writing your feelings and thoughts out here.

[randomxx]

Was halfway through a very crap movie and gave up.

Anyway yeah, spot on er and thx for the thoughts but yeah, the mental health and stress side of doing another job atm is troubling me on that idea, especially from where l'm based now. There's property and housing worries and things to deal with next yr, l need to be careful in self preservation atm so it might be best skipped anyway l'm thinking.

Nice to hear your enjoying yourself though, fantastic. l love the bay too, really grew to love the calm waters as apposed to beaches and crashing waves.

So true about the partner thing , l really feel that here too. if you were with someone and didn't mind the driving it'd be really nice actually. But as you say, also v v lonely alone here too l find. There's a girl up the road lives on her own actually, wish she was my type ha ha.

But yeah for sure all stuff to think about and suss out while you can and then there's the good old costs ofc l know.

thx er

rx

[Eagle Ray]

Yes, that makes sense to give the work a miss if self-preservation is needed. I’m really learning the importance in recent times of not getting too overwhelmed and overloaded, and it sounds like it would not be so great to take on the work for you with what’s left of this year and the other things you want to focus on. I think prioritising what feels right sounds good.

I grew up near the ocean in Perth and the waves could be pretty big at times. It’s the same in the regional area I now live in too. So the bay here is certainly different and relatively calm. I was going along part of it again today. I walked back through one of the wealthy areas to get to the train station and there were these huge mansions with imposing looking gates, coded entries with intercoms etc. That just seems so lonely and isolating to me and I wonder how people feel living behind all those barricades. I’ve seen the full gamut of humanity from the homeless through to the most wealthy here, the outer suburbs to the inner suburbs. My mind is spinning with it all, and all I can think is I want to be near community and not feel too alone or isolated wherever I am. Anyway, I’ve still got more time here and will try to do some things just to enjoy too, as I’ve been so focussed on where I might live.

I relate to your situation Rx. It’s like where is home? It’s challenging being in that in between space. I empathise anyway and feel solidarity with that search for where to live and trying to find a path forward. We will find something, I’m sure. It’s just such a process!

All the best,

er

[randomxx]

Hi er, great minds ha ha.

But yeah, my jobs weird in tress ways. The picking up and organizing of a job is v v stressful , l can't believe now the times l'd pushed through back when. Once that parts done it's easy street but that part, often over a few days, is what really does the damage, dunno if it'd be worth it just for a bit of money now and l'm way out of whack to and it's been 18mths.

Like you to yeah , l've also had to be really careful to of the overwhelming things/times last few yrs,,, there's been so much, tell ya.

Funny about the mansions fortresses. l don't have to but l prefer the gates shut here atm, even the chain through the gates so that they look locked. Thing is, last time l was stayin here neighbours were just walking in and up the hill and just popping up at the cabin or around the van. l'd never see or hear them coming and tbh it really got on my nerves as l'm very private. l like people but l like warning to yaknow and l don't like strangers just popping up and having a good old gawk around my place uninvited either.

There's only 4 or 5 places along my little street this end but the properties are all an acre or two and they like walking their dogs down from their places and out along my street. Seems they like coming into my place for a sticky beak too.

Feels a bit isolating having the gates closed though but l'm hoping they'll take the hint and then l can start leaving them open.

l can relate to your sitch to er believe me, ex and l moved around and lived interstate man, been there many times. And now the vanning thing to, l had to be v careful in those ways these days. One reason l don' say too much with your thing unless you feel like it yourself bc Melb's pretty daunting these days ha ha.

My end though, yeah l hate the situation l'm in, can't believe it tbh. l've told myself though even though it sure ain't Toorak, l suppose l'm lucky to at least have it to fall back on worst come to worst l guess right. l dunno !

Have thought of renting up in my main trouble is, income but couldn't face going back to work either so at least it's free l suppose right.

Sure is though er, a process l mean especially for you, health and what have you , l really admire you giving it a crack really do. But at the same time seems it's been on your mind yrs so if your up to it better putting it to bed to right one way or other

My end though, wellll, l haven't even been looking yet tbh. l spose l should be but one, l don't know the finances yet but 2 , it's just too much right now too. Suppose l should be though bc l do have a real nose for RE opportunities and who knows what could pop up. Same time though l'm just sussing the area to atm in my travels yaknow, before l bother to much anyway first of all. Goin to have lunch with the whales again Sunday, can't wait well, if they're there. lt's worth it for the whales and the women too ha ha.

Funniest thing speaking of women, there was a girl at the post office here too 10yrs back well she's still here l was in there today. Bloody funny , she sure a bold one and she remembered me straight off couldn't believe it butttt, alas, again, not really my thing either damn it.

Anywayyyy, you try not to over do it hey, try to just wander and let things play out best way l find these days. Wish someone would've told me that back in the day l tell ya man l use to run me and ex w ragged in new areas but myself especially.

Hope your doin ok .

rx

[Eagle Ray]

Thanks rx,

Yes, that sounds wise to think about what the impact is of initiating a job, which sounds stressful. I know what you mean about looking back on things you did from the past and wondering how you got through it. Take care of yourself, first and foremost. 

I totally understand about the gates at your place. People can be nosey can’t they. Yes, hopefully they get the message. The ones I saw yesterday were mega metal gates that were super high and I just wondered what it would be like living behind them. At the moment I’m staying with a lovely lady in suburban Melbourne and there’s a gate but it’s just part of a picket fence, so it has a homely feel.

Yes, Melb is a pretty huge and daunting place. It was jam packed in the city today when I went in. Felt like what I imagine New York is like! I had a real pang of confusion for a few hours. I had some past trauma triggers and just ended up sitting near the Botanic Gardens for a while thinking what am I doing and where am I going to live. Like family stuff and memories came up and I felt all lost, but then I enjoyed an African music and cultural festival that was on and felt better. Trying to stay connected to the world. I just feel so odd not knowing my future but knowing I can’t stay in my current town. I really relate to the uncertainty you’re going through rx. Like you, I know I’m lucky to have anything at all in terms of housing, but it’s hard not quite knowing how it’s going to work out isn’t it.

Anyway, going a seeing the whales sounds like an awesome thing to do - really good for the soul. I’m not far from the ocean here and I think I might need to be near nature wherever I am. I was considering an inner city suburb I liked which seems very community oriented but at the same time I worry I might feel too hemmed in, in the mass of urban surroundings. I’m so confused 🫤 

Anyway, thanks for telling me not to overdo it (I needed that). I hope you’re taking it easy too. Remembering to stay in the moment and enjoy it can really help, like going to see the whales 🐳 

The real estate thing can be quite a rabbit hole to go down, so you can always look into it but take it easy too and just go as far into as feels right at the moment. If it feels better not to and take things easier for a while, then that sounds good too.

Have a great day tomorrow!

[randomxx]

Thx for the thought er.  lt's weird all this trying to look after ourselves more these days though l find.Sometimes l think we stop pushing and we just start going down getting lazy then not as fit and next minute we can only handle half what we use to well, this is what l'm finding.  Hard to know where the line is never been so lazy it's weird isn't it. But then you think well you've done incredible things and pushed so hard , to keep doing that or expect that of yourself on and on these days surely must be worse but in a weird way l then start to wonder does that keep us going bc the pampering certainly doesn't for me. ldk, yet on the other hand l really enjoy not being under so much stress not pushing so hard physically and even sitting around for once in my life yaknow, it's so damn nice to just be taking it easy for the first time, but then bit by bit ya wanna do less and less - vicious cycle and you get less and less fit bc of it and then even lazier.

No wonder they say the longer you work and stay active the better it is for ya but ehhhh, l'm enjoying the opposite much more ha ha.

l know the sort of mansions and gates , l lovem, some look so spectacular but l think l'd leave them open. Don't you wonder who lives in them though right, and how they live, who they are what they do.

The whales let me down bugger, they can be allusive considering they're 60ft long it's funny really. Every stares and stares waiting for one to surface, some people stay hrs waiting waiting. But it's a beautiful spot so you don't care.

Certainly has me thinking about being out here though worked out l drove 120k today just for some shopping and whales, last 3 sundays in a row, 1 was for the beach. Bloody exhausted tonight. lt'd be the same for my kayaking, or beach bumming or anything else from here.

lt's only 50k but that towns spread out and you do another 15 just running about there. l'd def rather be much closer. Getting a lot of property inquiries though so for now l'll persist in trying to palm him off on latest feelings.

Love the city action and nice and busy, similar for me awhile back over in the other area l was thinking about. Was in the city center 1 sunday and there were dancers and bands in the malls and lots of people was so nice. Really nice town that one, no ocean though ha ha. Love the botanicals in melb, spectacular aren't they.

Tough choice for ya er right , l could imagine. Hopefully between wandering about and what's affordable/available, you'd find a happy middle road somewhere hey. That'll be how she'll have to go for me if l can sell too. There is one area l really like up n our main here but prob too dear for my budget unless l found some gem , we shall see.

Sorry about your down time, l've had that sort of thing quite a few times since l left for vanning ,as nice as it was mostly but felt very lost at times to and of also being back here since to. l just dk wth sometimes.

That's why despite waht l was saying up the start there, l also know l have to conserve myself to.

But yeah , it sure is to er. back in hte day when we're a bit fresher in life it could be all so exiting right but now l just feel daunted to. l try not to think to much and def not too far ahead or it's just to much. Must admit, really kindaa hoped something would just fall into place vanning but as nice as it was , same time nothing much eventuated in these ways sadly damn it. had a feeling nothing much would when l left but though well, l wanna get out of the town and house situation l was in wanna stop work wanna this that and other soooooo, was a good start regardless .

Thx for telling me to er v appreciated me too, hug for that. l can't believe the waves being here. Sometimes it's just plane nice but others l get so down but try not to think. There's actually a great pub just on the corner, it's the only damn thing in the whole town but people seem to come from far and wide.

l could use soma that but man, l'm just not an alone in a pub type and on the other hand to l really just don't feel like it anyway. But l suppose it'd do me good go down for a beer and eh at least for once l don't have to drive to somehwre. But it'd be pushing myself and l'm trying to avoid that stuff.

Take care er hope your doing ok and having a nice night eh.

rx

[Eagle Ray]

Hey rx,

Yes, it’s totally a balancing act, the working a lot thing and the taking it easier thing. I have been unable to return to work, at least for now, but I feel I would like to again. When I was 30 I developed a chronic, severe pain condition and had to stop work then. It was demoralising. But what got me out of it again was… work! I did a program with the then Commonwealth Rehab Service (doesn’t exist now), was medicated and retrained as a teacher assistant part time at TAFE. Sometimes I couldn’t even attend the classes because of pain, but when I did it really helped me being with the other people. Then I did my prac placements and started work again. I worked through pain and it was hard, but I can honestly say that working with the kids healed me. It helped rewire the pain circuits in my brain. So, yes, work can definitely help, I think with both mental and physical health. But sometimes we need to crash out for a while too. But I totally hear what you’re saying, that it’s like you start losing conditioning for work when out of it and then it feels harder doing things generally.

With the big mansions, I do often wonder who lives in them and whether there are only like two people in an enormous house. Some of the places I was struggling to tell if they were a single residence or like a kind of hotel. Some looked like a hotel but I think were actually ginormous houses!

Bummer about the whales not showing up. It sounds like you’d love to be around there, especially making the effort to travel the distance. I spent more time by the ocean today myself which I think says something about my love of the coast. I grew up about 20 minutes walk to the beach in Perth so it’s always felt like a part of me. I just get drawn there, so I get your need to go to the ocean.

I feel much better today since yesterday. I just had a lost feeling yesterday. But this morning I was down at the bay again and it was so atmospheric, and I just started to feel connected again and like everything is going to be okay. A few afternoons back I listened to a couple playing songs in the city and it was world class. You really see some great things in Melbourne and for free too. And it’s like people really take an interest and stop and listen. I feel like part of humanity in those moments.

I totally understand about hoping all would fall into place with the vanning. That’s how I was when I decided to move to my current town. I hoped it would just all fall into place. It’s been much harder than that, largely because I picked the wrong town. But I’ve been learning things about myself in the process and maybe that’s what’s happening for you too. So although it may not seem like you achieved all that you hoped, it’s like you were achieving something by getting to know some more things about what you like and are looking for in life. So I reckon, like you say, it was a good start.

Yeah, hug to you too. I’m up and down too. Sometimes really hopeful and other times on the lost and depressive side. I’ve found positive human contact really helps, like the person I’ve been staying with this past week who is so friendly and her gorgeous dog, and seeing my relative who lives here. So I wonder if the pub would be worth a try. But I understand that feeling of not necessarily wanting to be alone in the pub. I imagine it will depend on who’s there and if you feel a connection with the people you meet. I totally understand the self-preservation thing vs using energy to get out there in social situations. I guess if you try and the pub doesn’t feel right you don’t have to keep going. I hope maybe you meet some friendly, good people if you do go.

Take care too and I hope you’ve had a nice night too,

er

[randomxx]

Ahhh thx for that er much appreciated.

Gees that's really cool with your accommodation, like it's one of the biggest things these days isn't it. Especially costs wise but then you wanna be enjoying where your staying too. l'll have to tell my daughter about that stuff she normally uses  bnb but they sound very hit and miss but expensive , she's hated some of them and it's completely ruined her trip.

Sounds about right with your working earlier, my work was literally my therapy. The work doesn't hurt us for sure even helps unless it's seriously stressing work that's the past does the damage. Not all the pick ups and getting started were so stressful in mine some were really good traveling across the state or wherever picking up jobs, but a lot were. Once things were back at home though and out there waiting with my workshop and outdoors then l'd settle in and enjoyed getting out to work.

Where l am from the cabin l do have a great spot to work but the trips and picking ups would be slogs and a half but one or to would really pay for all my financial sins vanning ha ha.

When l think about how lazy l'm getting prob wouldn't hurt at all just doing one or two apart from the beginning stressors so l am thinking about even maybe just one this wk. Shall see. l have one lined but it'd be one of the sloggers to pick up and get started damn it, cruising later though so thinking about that.

looks like l'll have to do another property later though one way or other so that'll keep me moving later on.

Yeah our main town here although not huge population wise but about 20k across and runs all over and things area scattered everywhere so you easily do 20k, more, all over the place for stuff, it's a bit of a shyt like that that one.

Glad your feeling better anyway , nice one.

rx