Worthless

[Guest_1055]

Hello

I am wanting to know if anyone else feels just worthless. And what they did about that feeling that creeps inside of you.

Thanks

[Guest_5218]

Shelley I am now caught up on last nights posts, and moving on to todays.

In answer to your question on grapes.  Yes that was real.  We have a huge grape vine running along the edge of our bull nosed verandah and deck.  In fact I just had another feed of them for my lunch.  The imaginary part was that I took some into the Cafe for patrons to have if they wanted.  Oh and you're so right - home grown tomatos are so good.  Shop bought ones just dont have the flavour of a tomato.  We always grew our own when we were on the farm, but we havent grown any here for a couple of years.  Bugs seem to get the better of them every year.  But we have a neighbour who has a great garden, and he often gives us some of his produce.  We just cant compete, so we dont bother any more.  I do maintain a herb garden though - parsley, basil, oregano, mint, corriander.  And it was also real about the mangos.  In fact we used one yesterday.  I cut it up for hubby's lunch.  He said it was nice.  I dont like them, so dont know if it was good or not.  So thats at least one we beat the birds to.  Still a few more to come.  But they may well be all gone by the time we get back from our trip on Wed.

Sorry you didnt get much sleep last night.  I slept okay off and on, but didnt get up to the computer.

Durras - do you like gardening?  Our gardens are getting a bit out of hand.  I dont know one plant from another, even though I like gardening.  But I have lots of plants and I just dont know even what they all are.  So if you know anything about gardens, plants, where things should go, what shade and screening trees to plant where, all that sort of thing. Then your advice would be a fair trade for the little bit of cleaning and tidying up I did for you.    ( - :

Okay hubby awake and wanting the computer.  Must go..   Talk later.

Sherie xx

[Guest_5218]

Well it started out being a pretty good day for me today, except for the fact that its so very hot.  A few hot days ahead of us by the looks of things.  Oh well, it is summer and you have to expect hot weather then.

Anyway, I just collected my mail and wouldnt you know it, a reminder that I'm overdue for a 2-yearly pap test.  I perhaps should have started a new thread with this question, but its a little personal and sensitive, so I thought I'd put it here where I know you all. It is mainly women on this thread, but for you couple of guys who are regulars here, then probably the closest equivalent for you would be the dreaded digital prostate check?  So think along those lines if you're a guy.

So, is it normal to get struck by fear at the mere thought of having to go through this simple and necessary procedure?  I have been wandering around the house since I got the reminder notice in a bit of a daze and trying to figure out how I can again put it off.  And now anxiety is creeping up rapidly on me, and I can feel the shakes and heart palpitations escalating.  This shouldnt happen!   After all its a quick, simple and pain free procedure undertaken by women of all ages on a regular basis.  But I go through this reaction every time.  

In the past when I have finally gone to have the test I've been highly anxious leading up to it, and then so tense and uptight while having it that it makes it difficult to do.  And then I am left sitting on the side of the examination couch in tears with the Dr or nurse totally confused, and me unable to explain because I dont know why I react this way.

I know its important to have the test, and I want to have it done.  And its not a fear of what they may find, it is simply a fear of the test itself.  To save you asking, no I'd never had a pap test done prior to when I was raped. Meaning that I cant tell you if that has a bearing on the way I feel, or not.  

I'd like to know if this is a normal reaction that you all go through, or whether I'm being totally stupid about it. Ideas please?  And ways you cope with it would be appreciated.  

And in the meantime I'll just throw this reminder in the bin and try to forget about it, at least until my GP chastises me about it again.

Thanks in anticipation of your advice.

Sherie xx

[Durras]

Yeah for sure Sherie, I'm happy to go all Jamie Durrie/Don Burke it for you, I will give it a complete make over.

Tear it up and put in new complete garden with a little area in it with a water feature to make it really relaxing, a full length relax lounge with comfy cushioning, table to put your book, your chocolate milkshake and it is well protected from the wind. At night it has lights in it so makes it really cozy especially with the outdoor heater. For your husband it had a bbq

In all honesty thou NO but I am happy to come and give you a helping hand with it, more hands make light work as they say.

[Guest_5218]

Ha ha, thanks Durras.  That sounds good.  I can picture it now..............  I could use a good project just now.

Sherie xx

[Guest_1055]

Oh Sherie

My experience with having a pap smear may or maybe not be the same as yours. The anxious/ mild fear feeling that I would feel would be the fear of knowing that I was going to feel embarrassed. Because I am a very, very private person in that regard. But having said all that, I am not totally convinced they are actually necessary. I know plenty of people would disagree with me. But this is just my thoughts here.

Not sure if any of that helps you though? But could you ask that professional person you see, maybe they could give you some reassurance? Is it a woman you see? There might be some sort of connection there to your past, I don't know?

Xxx

[Chris_B]

Hi everyone, great to see everyone contributing to this thread and providing so much support for each other.

It looks like over the many hundreds of posts here though that it has strayed quite a long way from the original topic of dealing with feelings of worthlessness. It's quite hard for new members to get involved in discussions when this happens, so are you able to please start new threads if the topic starts to stray?  

For general social stuff, the newly-opened BB Cafe is the best place to post. 🙂

Thanks!

[Guest_1055]

Hello everyone posting and to any new members that have popped in here and felt they could not join in. I'm sorry. I guess Chris is right, this thread may have strayed away from the topic heading. But I have no idea how to steer in back to "worthless".

 I find it a bit unusual actually, because I have felt worthless, I truly have,. The feeling of worthlessness is extremely common in a lot of us. But what I am slowly finding out is when you are able to connect with someone else, or someone gives their time to you in replying to you.....well you start to then feel like you matter to them. And that makes you feel more valuable and not so worthless. For me it doesn't matter what the topic actually is or something. So if you look at it in a practical way, we are all carrying this out, and helping one another with this need to actually feel that we are worthwhile and we do matter. Thus helping one another to feel less worthless.....

Am I rambling here.. I don't know. So if anyone has any thoughts, any new or current  people please feel free to write. Sorry if anyone wanted to say something about this topic, and felt they couldn't .😢

With love and hugs, because you do matter

Shelley xx

[Guest_5218]

Sorry Chris B, yes you're right I have gotten a little off topic.  

My fault, I just didnt want to go to the wider community with todays post. 

It seems that while The Manager is away the cats will play, or stray, or whatever the saying goes?

It must be your first day back from leave today then?  Welcome back, and I will try not to transgress again.

( - :

A much chastened Sherie xx

[Guest_1055]

Hey Sherie

Please be reassured it is not your fault at all if this thread strayed from the original topic heading of worthless. I think we all just got caught up in loving one another or something. This loving one another helps us to feel less worthless though. I am pretty sure of that.

Sending you a bunch of pink hearts 💞 although I know you don't see them on your computer like that.

Shelley xx

[Guest_5218]

Hi Shell,

Black hearts received, but translated back to pink, as intended.

I do feel responsible though, because probably my post of today is the straw that broke the camels back, so to speak.  I just didnt want to put it into the wider community, as it is pretty personal.  I just wanted it to go to the people I knew.  

You are right though, because by developing a strong comeraderie with a group of people through this thread and feeling as though you actually do count for something, then we are all starting to come to terms with the fact that perhaps we arent quite as useless or worthless, as we once thought we were.  That we do have value.

Oh and thanks for your input re pap test.  I will ask my psych about it next time I see her, and see what she says.

Sherie xx