Worthless

[Guest_1055]

Hello

I am wanting to know if anyone else feels just worthless. And what they did about that feeling that creeps inside of you.

Thanks

[Guest_1055]

Yes it is warm outside Kaz, I went around early to shut all the windows. 

Xxxx

[Chicken_Wings]

I feel for you all the heat. It in in seasonally cool here.

last year it was 40 on Christmas Day and this year they are predicting 26. I'm so pleased about it. The dogs are pretty happy too.

i woke up feeling really tense this morning with some bad thoughts and needed a distraction so it's nice to see you all here.

[Guest_1055]

Hey chicken wings so where in Australia are you?

Ah the tense feeling... sometimes I just shake parts of my body, just shaking my arm now, sort of to loosen up.

So do your two dogs stay inside? So many people on here have dogs....

Well I am of now....to venture outside, we are going to some cafe near the beach. And I am hoping it will not be too crowded It is for my son's birthday.

Hugs to you CW

Shelley xxx

[Chicken_Wings]

I'm in Perth Shelley.

the dogs go in and out, but when it's too hot they just hate it. The little one ( in my picture) won't go in the car on hot days even if you've cooled it down with the air con.

happy birthday to your son. Another Sagittarius, is he creative? Enjoy the beach, I hope there is a nice breeze for you.

yea, the tense feeling is in my chest. It's that familiar anxiety feeling. 

[Chicken_Wings]

Um, guys I feel like crap today.

i didn't want to hijack a thread, but this seems like the appropriate place because today I do feel worthless. Like what is the point of me.

i have people who care about me and right now I can't see why, I can't see what value I add to their lives. I feel like a fraud and a failure.

i feel like apologising to everyone for being useless. 

this isn't me, I'm not meant to be weak. I'm meant to be getting better. I should be feeling better by now. I feel stuck.

[Guest_5218]

Hi CW,

Glad you are getting some cooler weather over there in WA.  Of course you had a long stretch of hot weather earlier, and always get your fair share of it.  I have relatives in Perth and spent Christmas over there a few years ago.  And yeah lucky you, a mid 20's Christmas day is perfect.  Traditional Christmas lunch for you?  Or cold seafood spread perhaps?  With your predicted weather, either would be suitable.  I think where I am it is also predicted to be around 25-26C.  So I am very relieved about that.  I live in NSW, at almost the same latitude as you in Perth way over the other side of the country.  Its about a half hour drive to the coast for me.

I noticed your changed photo during the week.  What a cute little dog.  What breed is he/she?  Hard to tell from the photo.

I am sorry to hear that you are feeling 'like crap' today.  And dont apologise for hijacking this thread.  Ha ha, in fact I did the same thing a week or two ago.  The more of us 'worthless' people the better, I say.   So its great to have you here.    ( :

It sounds like you may be having a bit of a lapse in the process of getting better.  Perhaps the time of year is having an affect on that as well, do you think?  Recovery never seems to be a steady thing, it has its stops and starts, it flutters, and peters out, then gets going again.  Dont worry, you'll pick up again, and go forward stronger than ever.  

Meanwhile keep talking to us here on this thread.  Lots of good people here.  Ha ha

Sherie x

[Guest_4987]

Hi Chicken Wings,

So sorry you feel like crap today, I don't see any type of hijacking going on here your welcome anytime. It's a great thing to have people that care about you and yes sometimes it's hard to see ones worth but if you think about it these people care about you so be kind to yourself and just believe it.

Personally I fall for the negative thoughts way to often and that makes me feel like crap too but you know what it will pass!

This thread and the people who post on it are so nice in there own way, reading there stories and posts have been such a positive in my life at this time.

Take care Chicken Wings.

STS

[Chicken_Wings]

Hi Sherie,

Im not originally from here and I can say I'm still not really used to the heat. We'll be doing a traditional lunch. My boyfriends mother is cooking and it's the works with ham and turkey etc. we're not big seafood eaters, which I guess is good cause it gets expensive this time of year.

that photo is my dog. He is an English toy terrier. He's about 30cm tall but in photos people assume he is much bigger. He will be 9 in February.

i just took him for a walk to get out of the house and get some fresh air for myself. There is a lovely dog park about 15 minutes from my house with their own little beach and lots of room to run around. 

I am having a lapse. Last week I hardly thought about it and really felt like I'd turned a corner. I was getting up and not feeling anxious and getting stuff done. Then this week it all came back along with the depression. 

It was my birthday on thursday and I was determined to have a good day no matter what. I usually love this time of year. Although in saying that I did have a relapse over christmas about 4 years ago.

I felt so desperate this morning. I just wanted this to go away and felt useless and stupid. 

Thank you for your kind words. It means a lot that people understand.

[Chicken_Wings]

Hi STS,

I guess the thing that makes me feel worthless is the fact that Im not improving. I'm still crying and thinking intrusive thoughts. I'm not helping around the house and I'm not really making enough effort. It makes me feel like I'm not contributing. Like I can't possibly be bringing anything positive into people's lives.

my boyfriend has his own struggles and i feel like I'm a burden to him and making his experience worse. I actually asked him the other day if I was a burden. Of course he said no, but it doesn't stop me feeling like one.

sometimes I guess I just want someone to tell me it's going to be ok. That I'm going to be ok. Because I sure as heck don't want to be like this forever!

i know I need to be more kind to myself. It's hard when you're in that place in your mind.

thank you for your positive thoughts. 

[Guest_5218]

Hi again CW,

You've had  few things going on that will have set you back a bit.  Your birthday this week and talking to your Mum yesterday on Skype.  I read on another thread that your Mum is not well.  And for that I am so very sorry. In a way, you are probably grieving.  You are a long way from her, and it sounds like her health is somewhat unpredictable. You may feel that you might not get to see her again?  And Christmas (family time) always seems to emphasise any feelings of isolation.  Is it at all possible to get over to visit her in the foreseeable future?  I know its a long way and an expensive option, but could be money well spent.

Its great that you have such a caring and understanding boyfriend.  He sounds lovely.  And he obviously does not see you as a burden.

I understand the crying, intrusive thoughts, feelings of hopelessness, etc that you describe.  I go through all that too with my ptsd and anxiety.  My husband is not as supportive as your boyfriend I'm afraid.  No patience at all, he just gets angry with me.  Tough love I guess.  I have found lately that I have probably had more better days than worse ones. So things are looking up!  Perhaps these forums, where I feel able to freely express my thoughts and fears, are helping?  I am unable to do that anywhere else, so this has become a good outlet for me.

Yes, I thought your dog looked more like a middle sized dog, so I am surprised that he's only 30cm tall.  But he looks like he has loads of character.  I always feel good when I take my little girl off for a walk.  I know she loves it, and even if I dont really feel like it, I do feel good when I make the effort and get out.

With you CW, in thoughts and prayers.

Sherie xx