Worthless

[Guest_1055]

Hello

I am wanting to know if anyone else feels just worthless. And what they did about that feeling that creeps inside of you.

Thanks

[Guest_1055]

Aw thanks so much Wayne, I think Kaz is right, just feeling overwhelmed, I will properly write it all out though. And I did reply to one of your posts earlier on today, so maybe it will suddenly pop up or something.

Shelley xx

[Guest_5218]

Hi there Shelley.  Thanks for the 'hello' earlier.  Whats this about you not having such as good day today?  I dont know what time you posted your earlier message to me, as I've been out in the afternoon.  Medical appointment and grocery shopping.  Gosh the shops are a disaster!  So busy, no carparks, people everywhere.  Yuk.  I think school holidays have just started in NSW?

I had some news this morning regarding my job interview on Tuesday.  They President rang to say they were very happy with how my interview had gone and, although I'm overqualified for the position, they wont hold that against me. How nice of them!  They wanted to check that I was still interested (I told them I would think about it on Tues) before they phoned a couple of my referees regarding my cash handling and honesty credentials. They wont have any problems there, so its looking fairly promising I think?  

So I really should be pretty happy.  Only I'm not.  Why?  I dont really know.  Perhaps its your problem Shelley of overthinking things?  I do that a lot actually.  But I'm also worrying about how I'm going to go, whether I can maintain the hours?  Worrying that the anxiety doesnt become worse again, that my injury behaves itself.  So many things.  But at least I've been up front about all that with them and, despite that, they are still interested in employing me!  Gosh I wouldnt if I knew what was going through my head.  And in the end, they might not either.  ) :    I've only been unemployed since early October, why is it this hard trying to get back to work again?  

Hello also to Wayne and Kazzl.  Hope you are both doing okay?

Sherie xxx

[Guest_4987]

Hi Sherie,

Thats great that you have heard from the prospective employer in a positive way.

Yes your right Sherie our minds can play on our well being so much, but it doesn't mean that any of it will come to fruition and for me it's something I need to work on daily and generally what I'am worrying about doesn't happen anyway what I'am trying to say is try not to worry unless it is justified. Not on the ifs.

I suppose it is nice for you be around your birds I like all sorts of animals they are all so different the way they live there lives, when I am around some species I observe them if I have macro eyes which allows me to see them up close and all the small things they get up to..so cool.

I've noticed when in town how busy it is I also don't mis the chaos so I've got my grub and stuff so no need to be part of it for a while. 

Has it been hot up your way? Quite warm down here especially at my place, at the moment I am living in a container as I'am building my house which is taking what seems forever as I am doing most of the work by myself, luckily my brother gives me a hand if I can't do it by my self..anyway it's dam hot in summer and can be really cold in winter maybe minus 3 or 4.

Sherie got stuff to do before dark so please be kind to your self and try not to worry to much it will all work out for you.

By for now Sherie, I also want to say hello to Shelley and Kaz.

Wayne xx 2 u all

[Guest_1055]

I know that over thinking things is like that isn't it. I have no idea why some people wrestle with this , while it seems other people do not . Like even now as I am writing to you, my brain is thinking about lot of issues at once. It is not only my brain, it is my heart also, which seems to be feeling a lot of things all at once. So I am trying very hard to focus now, in writing to you.... So thankyou for your listening ear. Anyway this is what I have been wrestling with today. It just seemed all to much, but now as I am getting some of it out to you, I think it is helping. Because it feels like a mini respite, because I am trying hard to focus on one thing only and the rest of the stuff is .....well wherever it is. Sorry about the ramble and ramble. Maybe I am just plain mixed up, so if my writing appears that way. I'm sorry.

So maybe yes the same thing is happening to you. I'm so glad for you, your interview went well​. But I am guessing you just have to wait to get a definite answer. But it does sound promising doesn't it?

I try to avoid shops as much as possible now...... way too much noise, busyness and such.

Thankyou for writing here, I appreciate it and you.

Shelley xxx

PS since I now know your name is not Sherie, I find it hard to call you that.

[Guest_1055]

Hey Wayne

I am writing this reply again in case the other one does not pop up, for whatever reason.

Thankyou for your kind words, it means a lot, truly.

I don't think I would like to eat yappies unless I was actually starving, it would be because of their legs and things.....

Thankyou for giving Lucy a pat for me.

[Guest_5218]

No I think your writing comes across as thoughtful or introspective.  You may be like me in that regard.  I have always been told, from when I was a little girl, that I write as if I was talking.  Now that is a bit scarey!  But hey, it may have something to do with the fact we write from the heart, rather than as a factual account.  Your writing has feeling to it and conveys emotion.  Its nice..........

But I really dont know why I cant just be happy about still having a shot at this job.  I really do want it.  It sounds just what I need.  I know I need to get out of the house, I know I need to keep my brain active, I know its good for my self esteem to have a job and hopefully feel useful.  To have purpose and not feel stupidly worthless.  Silly but I have convinced myself that my chances are not good, so I have conned myself into thinking that I dont want the job.  It saves disappointment when I dont get it I suppose?   Anyway, hopefully I'll hear back from them tomorrow, so I wont have to "stew" too long. They said they wanted the successful applicant to start on Monday.

Regarding your thanks for lending a listening ear.  Gee, thats easy.  My pleasure.  If that has helped, I'm so glad.

One of your own trademark hugs back to you.  I know I always appreciate them, so hope you do too.

Sherie xx

PS:  Although my real name is not Sherie, it almost was.  My Mum was going to register my name as Sherry (slight spelling variation, but phonetically the same) until the nurses asked "Sweet" or "Dry"?  She changed her mind.  xx

[Guest_5218]

Thanks Wayne, 

Yes I know you're right and I will try to do what you suggest.  I'm sure it will all work out for the best.  If I dont get the job, then that will be for the best.  If I do get it, great.

I just wanted to say also that I love yabbies.  I used to catch them in the muddy old dams from my days on the farm.  They have lovely moist, succulent sweet meat.  And Shelley Anne, you dont eat the claws or shells.  A bit like prawns, you take the shells off!   They are Mmmmm,  yummy.

I am so glad that you have kept yourself busy and staying out of that dark place you sometimes find yourself in.  Gee you have a big job in building yourself a new home.  Dont envy you living temporarily in a container though.  Do you have air conditioning in there?  We dont have air con in our current home, and I really feel the heat and humidity.  Hubby loves it, I feel like a limp wet rag. 

I'm off now to watch the first of the T20 Big Bash (Cricket) between the 2 Sydney teams.  I follow the Sydney 6ers, hubby the Sydney Thunder.  Not so healthy rivalry in this household!!

Please give little Lucy a scratch under the chin from me, and a friendly lick from my little dog too.  Ha ha....

I hope each day is an improvement on the last for all contributing and following this thread.

Sherie xxxxx

[Kazzl]

Morning all, thanks for the hellos- hello! and a big smile back to you.

Sherie that sounds really good about the job. Maybe you're not feeling happy about it because it not a certainty yet, or because you've leapt ahead from the news to the normal nervousness about starting a new job? Everyone goes through that with a new job. I find though that I tend to leap ahead too quickly. I get good news, or finish something and my mind immediately goes to the next thing - whether that be anxiety about what could go wrong or feverishly planning the next project. Something I have tried (not always successfully) to learn from taking the 'one day at a time' approach to getting sober, is to focus on the here and now. Make yourself think about the good news, savour it, and as those mindfulness folk say, be present in the moment. You don't know yet if you've got the job but you've obviously done well at interview. Maybe just sit with that thought for a while - how well you've done. I feel a bit of a fraud saying these things because I find it hard to do, but I keep trying. 

Lordy Wayne, you've got a job and a half eh? But how wonderful to build your own place, just as you want it. Great achievement mate.

Hiya Shelly - hope today is better for you hun. Hugs to you.

Well, it's the last day of work for me before two weeks off. Can't wait, I soooo need a break. 

Have a good day everyone.

Kaz 

[Guest_1055]

Hey Lucy and Wayne

Is that container that you are living in..... well is that plastic? it's probably a dumb question. Because it may be obvious to others, but not to me. I feel a bit silly about what I wrote about the yabbies, and their legs and such. I truly don't like things like that, even prawns, with their piercing eyes just looking at you.

 That is good that your brother can help you build your house. Both my brother and father are builders. And I do remember that fresh saw dust smell, that sort of laid about underneath from where they were cutting timber. Is your house constructed from timber then?

I do truly hope that you coped well today.

With hugs

Shelley xx

[Guest_1055]

Hey I think you do write as if you are talking........ So were you good at English at school?  

So what sort of dog do you have then? I used to have a small dog called Coco, he was a cross silky Maltese, he was a real little digger and definitely an extrovert dog, if there is such a thing. He was an extremely energetic little dog, and would happily walk beside you when you were bike riding, even for a few kilometres.

Did you hear about the job yet?

Bye with a hug xxx