Worthless

[Guest_1055]

Hello

I am wanting to know if anyone else feels just worthless. And what they did about that feeling that creeps inside of you.

Thanks

[White_Rose]

Dear Shelley

I have been reading your posts to other people and the comments you make in your own threads. I understand why you are so thrilled to find a safe place to voice your anger/frustration/pain and I am so very pleased you are able to do this. To be able to say all those things you have pushed down for years and to find no one is condemning you, or ignoring you is a truly liberating message. We all deserve to be acknowledged, to be cared for and respected for who and what we are. But of course this is in an ideal world and sadly many people do not receive what I see as basic courtesy.

So it is up to each one of us to manage our lives and give ourselves the respect we deserve. Reading your belief that you are worthless makes me so sad and also reminds me of my lack of belief in my worthiness. Well it has taken me many years to move from there to a place of comparative peace and self-belief. I want to believe that you have also started that journey just by writing in to the fantastic folk on BB.

At the moment I cannot remember if you are receiving any professional help to move forward. It must be so great for you to feel cared for and accepted on this forum where we are all broken in some way. What I want to say, and please accept this in a loving manner, that it is time to move forward. You are so busy being supportive to others, which is fantastic, but it seems to me you are not addressing your own needs.

Being there for others is a good thing because we all need someone to hold our hands, whether metaphorically or physically, and that includes you. I believe you are so busy listening to others and caring for others that there is no time for you. After a while it is hardly surprising that feel worthless. Where are the people who listen to you and validate your existence? It's time for you to take steps towards your own wholeness.

Continue to be the loving person you have shown us here. Please take steps to believe in yourself before your love turns to bitterness and anger because your care is not reciprocated. I speak from experience here and it has taken a long time to come back from that place.

So what is my message? Find yourself a counsellor or psychologist and let them care for you as you care for others. We can love and support you but we cannot change your life. Only you can do that. And the first step is to get help. My favourite singer say "Some days are diamonds, some days are stone." Get help to find and keep polishing your diamonds.

Mary

[Neil_1]

Dear Shelley anne

Finding out from being here on Beyond Blue that there are so many others out there in the community who struggle every day with similar kinds of issues and stresses, is for want of another word, comforting.  It’s also extremely sad and terrible that so many are afflicted with this mongrel disease, but at least we have a place where we can go and chat and unload.

I’m finding of late that there are a fair number of new names popping up (and staying) here;  posting back and forth and I think that is awesome.  For a long while, there was a core group of posters who would be there to help and advise and support others and for the most part, they are still here.  But with this influx of new people on the forums, I’m finding this a really excellent time – there is good banter back and forth, many differing points and experiences being shared and stemming from this, Shelley anne, it hopefully can go a long way to removing that awful feeling of worthless, which you’ve described a few times now.

Ok, that’s me blathering on again, but hopefully that bit above made sense.  Let’s face it, I knew what I was trying to say.  🙂  Thank goodness;  it’ll be a very sad day indeed, when I type something and then I come to realise, I’ve got no idea what I just wrote!  🙂

Kind regards

Neil

[Guest_1055]

Hello White Rose

I have read your post here in my thread many times now. I'm sorry...... I think I am only getting a glimpse of the meaning of your words to me. I can see your concern for me,in which I am truly thankful.

I believe that I am helping myself, by coming on these forums. To tell you the truth I absolutely love it, I simply love conversing with others via the written word. And when I reply to someone, the words just flow and the love that I have for that particular person grows in my heart. Even though I don't really know them. And I cannot stand bye and do nothing, when someone is hurting so much. It breaks my heart. So if people feel comforted in any way by reading the words that flow from me. Well this does make me feel happy.

I do appreciate all the concern, love and time you have given to me. I truly do. And I hope I did not ramble on to much. This is getting a bit heavy for me now. 

With appreciation and kindness to you Mary

Shelley anne xxx

[Guest_1055]

Ah thank you sweet Lucille

xxx

[Guest_1055]

Your last paragraph made me smile Neil....

You know as I read what people post on this forum, so many say they feel worthless, or they have at one time, so many. And I keep asking myself Why??

[white knight]

Hi Shelley Anne

You are a really sweet person. It comes through in your words of appreciation of others.

I wrote an article relevant to this "feeling of worthlessness". Google "Topic: Confidence- how do you get it?  - beyondblue" Indeed there are many articles/thread son so many topic here. Great for midnight reading I think.

I pride myself of being the ultimate positive thinker. However I do have periods of feeling worthless. I'm thinking this hollow feeling goes hand in hand with depression. The feeling is too common among us to think otherwise. It comes regardless of success, independence, love in your life and so on. When depression kicks in our low mood culminates into that worthless feeling. As part of the "management" of our illnesses rather than expecting cure, we should in my view not allow our depression to take seriously the feeling of worthlessness. Logic tells us this is the black dog dictating an illusion to us, its not real. We are worthy, no matter your lack of skills or value etc, we are worthy so that feeling of worthlessness isn't valid or justified.

Saying to yourself "This feeling is temporary, it isn't real, it will go away I just have to allow the cycle to run its course. I am a good person and I just need a little time to get back to normal". And so on. We can talk our own minds to be positive if we are persistent enough about it even while we are still depressed. It is one of the hardest things to do but we cant ever master it when we are down. That might sound contradictory but you have to try even if it proves fruitless time and time again....one day it might just be fruitful...

Tony WK

[White_Rose]

Hello Shelley

So sorry my post was vague. It's great that you post here on BB and that your words help others. I hope you will continue to do this.We are all broken as I have mentioned before and we need the love and support of others to help us get up and fight another day. You are an extremely supportive person. Thank you.

My comments were not meant to suggest you stop doing this.  I often feel I am talking to myself when I write to others. You know how it is. We make suggestions to others but do not take our own advice which is often because we believe we are not sufficiently worthwhile to take action on our own account.

As far as I can see you are not taking positive action on your own account. And you may be simply not ready to do this yet. I don't know what's happening in your life or exactly where you are on your own journey. We get a great deal of satisfaction in helping others, and I am writing to myself as much as about others. What I am saying is this alone will not return us to health. It's good reinforcement and certainly helps with our self-esteem, but it's not the reason we offer help and support to others. Sharing our experiences, listening to others and being encouraged to move forward is what it's all about.

You have an enormous capacity for love. I want to see you apply this love to yourself. Saying, or implying, that you are only valued for the services you offer others makes you appear a second class person. And this is definitely not the case. I want to see you grow and flourish. I am not saying don't write in here, because you are most definitely offering great support.

Please consider your own needs as well as others. I read about you and the mouse and cooking a meal at 10:00pm. Excuse me when I say I smiled at the picture you painted. While mice are not my horror story if you changed the creature to snake I would have run a mile. Having had snakes in my home on several occasions I can empathize with how you felt.These kinds of fears are debilitating and I wonder if we will ever truly get over them.

But to return to you. Please ask your GP for help. See a counsellor or psychologist and talk about your specific difficulties. Learn where they come from and how to manage in a way that increases your confidence to live your own life. And tell us how you are travelling. we know about your good and bad days. It would be truly wonderful to know you are consistently having more good days than bad because you are working on getting better.

Mary

[Guest_1055]

Thank you White Knight for all your information. I appreciate it. I did have a look at that article you mentioned. At the present, I do not seem to be able to digest it much, most probably because of the late night last night and the fact the topic requires a lot of thinking upon. Very deep. xxx

Mary.... I am so glad you smiled over my incident. Because now I can see something good came out of it. And I am not fond of snakes either, there is not many where I live though. I know this has nothing to do with the topic of this thread, but how do you actually get rid of a snake that is in your house? 

And Mary please, please be re assured that the issue of me seeing a GP or a counselor is all under control. xxx

[White_Rose]

I am so pleased you have replied. I was concerned that I had been taken off your Christmas card list.

Removing snakes? I call a neighbour as I am too terrified to go anywhere near a snake. I was weeding my garden a few weeks ago when I heard a rustle and a snake slithered out of the plant six inches away. I nearly had a heart attack on the spot. It slithered up the fence and into next door's tree. Fortunately it was a tree snake.

I was telling my daughter about it and she was also concerned but when I told her it was a tree snake she lost interest. "Oh, only a tree snake." OK, generally harmless but at the moment of its appearance I had no idea what it was, apart from a snake and my fright was as legitimate as if it had been a more dangerous snake.

I probably will not be writing much a for while as I have been unwell and need some rest. It's sad because BB has become part of my life.

Mary

[Guest_1055]

Ah Mary

That snake was mighty close.

As I was reading your post. For some reason I was imagining two young women, dressed in gardening clothes, wearing wide brim hats. They were bending down, chatting together and pulling out these cumbersome weeds, growing amongst the white roses. A slight rustling sound came alive.... And out slithered a snake, that had been woken up. The two women jumped and with their hearts pounding, gave each other a friendly and  re assuring hug.  If I was with you that day, one of the hugs would have been given by me.

Anyway I hope you feel better soon Mary, and that you have a nice long good rest.

Shelley

xxx