Working with Depression

[Autumn14]

Hi everyone.

Unsure really what to say. I have been living with major depression since 2008 with medication and in the early days a psych. I am a hard worker giving everything to my job rarely taking sick leave.

Last week I had a relapse at work, crying and unable to really express what was wrong. I stupidly said to to the manager I didnt want to go to work..as struggled to get out of bed. I hadn't felt this way for quite some time.

I decided to talk to doctor and he gave me some time off. The manager was not happy and said "it was disappointing". After continued emails (maybe I shouldn't have answered in hindsight) she said the 2 managament staff had talked and decided to take one work role off me.

Later on in the week she asked if I would be in for the rest of the week. I was so angry from previous emails and not wanting to be brash I simply said I wont be in but will be back Monday.

The email that followed that was the worst. Instead of telling them I would not be there apparently I should have asked. They pointed out that they had been lenient with me and I should show more respect and professionalism. The said they have offered support yet I have never taken them up on it. Never did I say anything about struggling at work, sometimes theres no reason for a relapse. I like my work. Life just got on top of me I think.

I'm just not sure what to do now. How do I go back to work and face them all?

[james1]

Hi Autumn,

I'm not sure, but it sounds like your workplace isn't the best at handling mental illness. Perhaps not the worst either, but I don't think given your situation, that the comment about respect and professionalism was called for. I don't think you did anything wrong with saying no, but you'd be in on Monday. You're the only one who knows the limits of what you can do and you are right to dictate when you are sick and when you are not.

I work at a bank and for me, I'm quite upfront about my depression. I take an hour and half every Wednesday for my psychologist appointment and I have a fortnightly catch up with my manager where I have the opportunity to mention, if I want, whether I need a bit of load taken off or I can take a bit more.

But I think the key thing is to make sure the workplace knows you are in control. If you are struggling, they want to know that you're still in control and can tell them that you'll be in or not. If the workplace doesn't support that, I think you need to find a place which does. Because the mental strain on hiding your depression isn't worth it.

Others may tell you that it's best not to disclose at all, but each to their own I suppose.

James

[Autumn14]

Thanks James.

We have several people with people with depression in the workplace and I have been open about my diagnosis and treatment even writing this on my employment paperwork.

I was taken back by the lack of understanding. I'm usually a very strong, confident and capable employee and never put anyone at risk with my illness.

I feel I should explain to them but are scared/anxious about what they will say or do especially after their emails. I really am.not up for a long meeting with both of them explaining that I still would like my job And justifying my depression and reactions to them.

[james1]

Hey Autumn,

Often I've found that people or workplaces can be openly supportive of depression, but only a certain type that fits in with their work culture. And so they will have various support systems and things, but you can still experience lack of understanding in the people or system.

You don't need to justify your depression. My best suggestion is you need to go on Monday, but before then, it will be worth writing down for yourself what your reactions were and whether you feel they were justified or not. This is not for your workplace. This is for you.

You need to be comfortable on Monday to, if they ask, be able to say clearly that you are capable of working. But you also need to know your boundaries. Set yourself realistic boundaries and if they cannot accommodate that, you will need to reconsider. Work accommodates life - not the other way around.

James