Why is my BPD affecting me being able to hold a job

[Brof]

Hi

so I recently got a job I quite enjoyed for about a month and then the second month felt like everything was an effort, I started getting anxiety attacks with the thought about working. These attacks would happen 2 days before I had to work.
Yesterday I pulled up my drive way and broke down 1 hour before I had to work my mum saw me and called my boss saying I couldn’t come in anymore.

Since then I have been extremely depressed and felt hopeless I’ve never been able to hold down a friend or a job without fearing I would lose it or just wanting to give up so it would make my life easier.
Can someone tell me if this is normal and what I should do, perhaps share similar experiences or guide me?

[nparker93]

This has been my experience the past few years. My anxiety and depression seem to hold me back when it comes to committing. I started a job last year Oct and I lasted 4 months before I quit. Then I started a new role beginning of November last year and I’m already looking for a new job. I have called in sick 4 times already because I start to panic the night before work. I keep telling myself it’s because of a, y and z. I am personally unsure of how to overcome this. But you’re not alone.

[Guest_7403]

Its always best in those moments of panick and anxiety to try and take a step back and ask yourself am i being rational? Is this a rational response.

[Brof]

It is a roller coaster experience to have and it definitely is worse when employers and bosses don't understand 😞 it kind of feels like no matter what job I won't be happy, but besides from that your mental health comes first and finding that stability eventually will make a huge difference 🙂

[Brof]

I was at a weak spot it was not a rational decision sadly, but i am working on using my wise mind and thinking more rationally before acting