why do I feel like this?

[bluebear]

Hey guys, I'm 25 years old and I have a amazing 7 year old son. My whole life I have been through these waves of stages where I am not motivated, constantly tired, nothing humours me and I just feel emotionless. Then some great days I have a surge of motivation and I'm happy, excitable and want to talk more, will cook and clean etc. I am in a job where I am a leader in the business and I'm struggling to be motivated for work and find many days I have my happy/fake face on to tackle the day and by the end of the day I'm exhausted and my wall is back up again, my partner thinks I show no interest in him when really I feel like my body become unable to produce happy emotions, I'd rather just lie down and be silent. I am always tired, like I mean I wake up and I need to go back to bed again. I just don't know what is happening to me, I want to be happy but it is as if my brain will not let me. I have hardly no friends and I hate socialising because it makes me anxious and when I am able to socialise it feels like it is so hard to think of things to say.

I hope this makes sense to anyone who is reading. I'm typing this now as I feel like this. Any advice would be amazing.

[White_Rose]

Dear bluebear

Welcome to the forum. It's good you have found us and told us a little about yourself.

As I read your post there were two aspects I thought of. The first is the easiest to do. Have you had a thorough medical exam from your GP. Tiredness is a symptom of several illnesses, not necessarily serious but can be debilitating. The good days could simply be those when you are not tired. A good check up would sort out this aspect and it's the easiest.

The other consideration is a mental illness such as depression and/or anxiety or some other possibility. Once a physical cause has been ruled out, presuming that it this is the case, your GP can work with you to decide where the problem lies and how best to manage it. It's probably not something you want to hear but I think you suspect something of this kind. The only way is to talk to your doctor.

I hope this is useful. Please continue to post here. I am interested in what conclusion your doctor comes to.

Mary

[Disinterest]

I feel as though what you have written sums me up 100%. I am wanting to find natural ways to manage my feelingsz I know eating better and exercising will help but at the same time i just dont want to. I have come here to try to find jew ways to help myself

[White_Rose]

Hello Disinterest

Natural ways to become well include a visit to your doctor and a thorough check up. It is surprising how much even a minor illness can impact our feelings and make us miserable. Have you had the 'flu? Doesn't last long but boy it sure makes us miserable. And often it takes a while to fully recover. Well you probably do not have the 'flu but there may be something amiss. At the very least you will know where to focus your energy.

Diet and exercise are good for your overall health including your mental health. What sort of things motivate you to do anything? Crafts, gardening, rearranging the furniture, solving crosswords, jigsaw puzzles? Use them as rewards to yourself when you have gone for a walk. There really is no substitute for exercise. It releases hormones into your body and makes you feel good. That alone is good.

I dislike exercise. I want to get fit by doing nothing but it doesn't work for some reason. For me the answer is when, where and how I do it. I had a great routine some years but it stopped for reasons beyond my control. I am starting again. If I pay to join an exercise group I am far more likely to attend. Cannot bear the thought of wasting my resources. So I have recently joined a group in the same place I was before. I feel comfortable but I know I will stay away given a good reason. It is a constant battle.

But that is only one day a week. I try to build some form of exercise into my day. Shopping does not work as I tend to wander and keep stopping. My GP tells me a 20 minute minute walk three times a week is all I need though I suspect she would be happier if I did more. So drive yourself to a nice spot. Get out of the car and walk five minutes one way then return. Then five minutes the other way and return. Exercise done. Find somewhere lovely to go.

If you have stairs in your home make a point of going up and down several times a day. Good exercise. I'm sure you can find reasons for this. Walk to your local coffee shop if possible and reward/fortify yourself for doing it and then walking home. Walk around the clothes hoist if you have one instead of swinging round to peg out the washing. All these small steps add up. What other ways can you think of?

Love to know what you come up with and I can copy you.

Mary

[Think_to_much]

Hi, this is my first post, but after reading your brave crusade to seek help I felt inspired. Something you said truly resonated with me” I put on my happy face to get through the day”. It’s like you were reading my thoughts.

i work in an industry where I’m constantly thinking, checking, watching and in a sense I feel performing!

I've always loved my job, it’s a big part of me, who I wanted to be, but lately I’m so disillusioned by expectations that I feel just like you said, like I put on this happy mask.. when deep down, I’m exhausted, fed up, had enough and just tired of pretending to be ok when I’m clearly not.

I was diagnosed with depression 8 years ago and there has been some awesome days and some really bad ones. Some days the rutt is so bad that I will just stay in bed others when I felt like I could change the world. Some days my panic attack’s would slam me like a Mac truck, other days that ticking in my chest and head are quiet enough to try and ignore.

i have everything in the world to be grateful for, a great partner ( after a turbulent divorce, ) 6 amazing daughters ( 2 of my own 4 of my partners) but I’m still not “happy.” And oh! the guilt I feel for not being happy when I clearly should be is overwhelming. Just makes it all worse!

what I can say is this...I never planned to have posted on this site, but in your post I found a commonality, so thank u for being so open.

I wish you heart and strength on your journey.

[bluebear]

To everyone that commented Thank you for taking the time out of your day to be able to connect it is a very rare thing these days.

if you are struggling I give you strength to keep going, some days are hard and exhausting but small steps. Some things I have recently started doing for myself and I have been feeling slightly more motivated I hope maybe you can try this to. I have been gardening my home is filled with house plants and it fills me with joy, I cook when I’m feeling stressed and anxious and it gives me peace in my mind knowing I have dinners prepared for the rest of the week. I started reading again something that I couldn’t relax when doing it but once you stop fighting your mind it passes.

the toll work puts on our mind is heavy, I found I took a lot of my workload home and kept working and it is draining. Leave work at work. Focus on progression and seek that recognition from work peers to boost your confidence and motivation

also I have gone and got a blood test and will be seeing a psych also.

If if anyone wants to reach out to me whether it be sharing recipes or plants or anything I would love to make a friend. There is nothing worse then being lonely.

[bluebear]

I wish you the strength and courage to keep going mama! I’m so glad you posted and I’m so glad that mum post has even if ever so slightly helped. We are strong women who can push out a baby and we can sure as anything stay strong. If you ever would like to chat feel free to message me I would love to ☺️