The warmest of welcomes to you at such a challenging time in your life, a time you're trying to make so much sense of.
I think one of of the most challenging things in life can involve being 'a sensitive' or 'a feeler'. When you have the ability to sense/feel so much and so easily at times, it can create some emotional overload. One of the most important things to remember above all else is to not say 'What's wrong with me?' but instead wonder 'Okay, what is it that I'm actually feeling/sensing?'. Can definitely take a bit of detective work at times.
With a search for the right detective, a lot depends on what's going on. Is it physically/chemically based, such as with vitamin, mineral or some other chemical imbalance or deficiency? Is it mentally based, coming from belief systems, inner dialogue or something else in this category? Then there's the soulful angle, with a whole array of soulful challenges? Of course there's the combo of 2 or all 3 combined but personally I find things tend to stem from one of those categories in particular. Again, the question 'What kind of detective do I need? A physician, a dietician, a psychologist, a psychiatrist, a guidance counselor, someone who serves the soul, family, friends or someone else who can possibly detect what it is I'm feeling or sensing and can guide me in some way?
Understandably you're feeling exhausted of energy, while in many ways working your way through so much change. While a lot of energy can feel positively exciting, a depressing lack of it can definitely feel testing. With you mentioning having lost a friend, my heart goes out to you while I also wonder whether this has played a significant part in how you're feeling life right now. Sometimes we can underestimate the true impact regarding the loss of a support person or support system. I've found it can pay to ask at times 'How would I be managing if that support person/support system was in my life right now? Would I be managing a little better or differently?'. This can offer a better sense of why we can be struggling.
I've found sometimes it can be about really leaning into an emotion and seriously questioning 'What is this particular energy in motion or e-motion really about, that I can feel within me? What am I sensing?'. Sometimes the answer can be 'Complete overwhelm', something we've perhaps never had to face and manage before. Do you think the tears could be a form of venting some of the overwhelm and perhaps some grief you might be facing?❤️
