What's the point?

[Scotchfinger]

I don't suffer clinical depression but I am certainly capable of depressing thoughts. Pessimistic thoughts. Negative thoughts. "Scotchfinger, why are you such a drag?"

Well not all the time.

So here is my most depressing thought of late.

"What's the point. We're all gonna die one day anyway."

I just lose all motivation when I hear myself think that thought. What would a CBT counsellor say in response to that?



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[Paul]

Hey Scotchfinger,

I think a CBT counsellor would ask you firstly if the way you are currently feeling is how you feel all the time, then I think they would ask you to answer the question you are asking of yourself.

Yes, we're all going to die anyway however, what happens along the way provides beauty and laughter and joy and love and comfort and purpose and so many other things. It may not feel like it right now, but you've said "and when I feel like this" which tells me that it's transient.

From my own experience when I'm feeling like that I forget that there is an up side and I won't feel horrible all the time. it will pass.

I wonder what leads you to start that thought - is it another thought or an emotion or a memory? Are you able to go back to the moment when you think you started to feel down and replay the whole thing very slowly. I often surprise myself by seeing a chain of thoughts and feelings that link together that eventually lead to being down, but at the time all I feel is trigger then down and my mind skips all of the parts that explain why.

CBT is great, I've found ACT and mindfulness to be awesome partners to help me along as well.

Paul xx

[Scotchfinger]

Brilliant helpful post Paul. Thanks, I'll answer your questions later.

[Pantheress]

Ah.. the meaning of life. You picked a topic, many having been exploring for centuries. When you work it out, please share it with me. Although I feel this may be a very time consuming exercise & take you away from more purposeful pursuits. Best u try set it aside until u have much more time to dedicate to your subject. For now I think we should all just strive for happiness. Which for me is the contentment between the laughter and tears or hanging on to a small thread of sanity is pretty good too,smiles.. have a fantastic day. DJ

 just keep 

DJ

[Paul]

The answer is 42

[Durras]

Hi All,

Yeah the meaning of life, WHY are we here on this planet, What is our purpose. Massive questions and never can find the right answer to it, but I think it has to come from within our own selves as we are all different.

From me personally. I think far too often what gets in the way is we are too busy maybe comparing our lives or ourselves to others successes such as trying to keep up with the Joneses if that expression is correct. For example I myself always think and look at other women who are successful around my age and negative talk immediately comes in like Why couldn't this be me, why couldn't I have done this for myself, so what is wrong with me? Or maybe it is living to others expectations from our parents, I know it does to me at my age, or could it be for our partners who we are suppose to support or share in everything with including finance that too is my case. Maybe we listen to much with celebrity talk, I lost weight by doing this, purchase this and you will have a better life. Yeah whatever! LOL

I think after reading many posts here I have for myself taken it as just to be happy with the now, the moment and all its blessings, even if it is small things such as rain drops on the roof or seeing a new flower in the garden or having a hug with our child. I read somewhere if we try to keep moving away or running from not being comfortable with the now, content with us in the now then it will still be there where ever it is we choose to move to.

We are all beautiful and amazing people with lots to offer everyone and to the world that our existence even if maybe it is here on BB we are having a massive impact on many and leaving a little foot print for playing our part in helping others.

It may not be so much to have the best job, career, so much money (does that truly buy happiness) if we won the lotto ok temporarily maybe but the true happiness from within is more then any lotto win. Celebrities have money and fame dictates their lives. We go to the deep within and search ourselves and find true meaning. We may keep searching for long time but at least we know along the way we are doing something truly meaningful which is......

Bless us with all our struggles, our uncertainties and questions to this thing we call life. We are living it, we are making our foot prints in the soil or sand on this earth in our lives because we are helping others become stronger.

Big hugs to all

Durras

[Scotchfinger]

Durass

Thanks for your post. Looks like the others think my search for life's meaning is fruitless and juvenile.

[Durras]

NO WAY!! its not at all.

I often ask myself that question and I don't use the word often lightly too so ok frequently.

SF from reading your posts you honestly sound like a beautiful person with so much too offer.

Remember the best things in life are free, keep recognising those each day, such as hugs, new flowers even helping someone across the road or onto a bus (I use public transport)

Also remember great things come in small packages, we have many wonderful gifts that are too often unrecognised or go unnoticed because of every man living for himself, surviving for himself. (doggy dog world I think is the expression I'm looking for)

Someone also told me Carol don't put your expectations too high so then you don't have so far to fall and you won't get hurt as bad.

I so often wish that the world was different, everyone cared but NOPE everyone is so busy stepping on others toes, using, taking advantage of one another to get ahead ( one reason why I left my job) all the back stabbing, cattiness and politics in the jobs and in life it's self. Now I'm doing my head in lol

Hey SF I will leave you with another expression I was told:

It's a jungle out there, take care amongst the wilder beasts lol

Durras

[Paul]

Hey Scotchfinger,

Your search is so definitely NOT fruitless or juvenile.

Existential angst is something that visits us when we are enlightened enough to ask the question! I think the answer is different for everyone, but with one common theme. Meaningful emotional relationships. They could be socially and/or romantically with people, caring for animals, loving the earth, worship of a deity as just some examples.

The commonality is emotional relationships that provide meaning to us. Essentially, love and caring, being loved and being cared for and about.

Paul

[Paul]

Hey Durras,

Hugs!

In reading your reply, something occurred to me. In your reply you mention a lot of things such as people stepping on each other to get ahead, wanting to be slim, wanting to be pretty, not having too far to fall etc.

I think that the psychological drive for all of these is popularity, attraction, success and ability to keep up. These are all traits that we as social animals need in order to be accepted by a wider group. That's imprinted into our brain. To keep up or get left behind is something that impacts us pretty fundamentally and can be unconsciously scary as hell too.

Paul x