what next?

[cam01234]

I'm a 39 year old man.  I suffer from severe depression and anxiety. The anxiety came first: In 1991 while a year nine student I began to get panic attacks.  These were horrific and I kept them secret.  I was too ashamed to mention them to parents.  As my psychiatrist and I look back on that period, we are sure I was suffering depression also - but a bit later than anxiety, and perhaps in response to it.

I've tried everything for my condition: I'm currently taking high doses of two anti-depressants and two anti-pyschotics (although I have never had psychosis) and a mood stabiliser.

I filled out the little form on the beyond blue website to assess my mental state - K10?.  It was 34, and the instructions on the screen seemed to suggest that I should immediately rush myself to hospital.  But today is just a normal day like any other for the past decade or so

I don't work; subsisting instead on a DSP. I live at home with my parents. STILL.  I am absolutely starved of companionship.

Has anyone had ECT?  That is my next plan, albeit that I have some misgivings.

Any advice about how to pull oneself back from the brink would be welcome. (Actually though, just getting this down on paper has helped a little.)

[Chris_B]

Hi Cam, welcome to the forums. If you're interested in finding out more about ECT, then have a read of Juliet's thread on her experiences with ECT here. 

Getting your thoughts out can help a great deal. Do have a look through some of the threads in the Recovery & Staying Well forum for ideas on coping as well.

Our other members should be along to say hello shortly, hope you enjoy your time here.

[Neil_1]

Hi there Cam

Welcome to Beyond Blue and thank you for providing your post.  That in itself is a huge step and a very good positive one at that.

Yes, it's a great thing that you've been able to come and here and unload a little about your past and also how you are at the moment.  And I find a lot of the times exactly what you just wrote - in that, after writing this down, you feel a little bit better.

It can be a therapeutic thing - just to unload either here or even just on your computer somewhere, that doesn't necessarily have to be read by anyone.  But at least here, you're reaching out with 'like-minded' people and fellow sufferers - and there's no judgement here - only that we try to provide guidance and advice, when able;  but above all else support.

So please do come back and post more - we'll be here for you.

Christopher has provided an excellent link to a previous thread about ECT.  Also, at the top of each page, there's a "Search" function and if you put ECT in there, you should receive some more results as well.  This particular topic is a good one to read up on.  Although I've never had it myself, I do feel that it's come a long way - but also, it's really interesting to read different people's versions and accounts too.

Hope to hear from you again

Neil