WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN?

[goldilocks]

He's got an intervention order against me but says to me: "I have always liked you but I have kept it from you." Why is he playing games with me?

[MissBenthos]

Hi Goldilocks,

If someone truely cared for you they would not be playing games with you, you would honestly know without a doubt that they cared. Are you able to block out this person from your life?

Why the games? I don’t know, it could be for many reasons, only he knows why. Whatever the reason, you deserve better.

xo

[White_Rose]

Dear Goldilocks

Welcome. I hope we can help you.

Do you know the grounds for this intervention order? It may help to find out. Other than that I agree with MissBenthos, playing games may make him feel good by having you dangling on a string. He may have a personality disorder which expresses itself in these types of activities and distressing you. Who knows the reasons.

Stay away from him and try to carry on with your life as normally as possible. It really is the only answer. He does not care for you as he would not take out this intervention order without telling you first. He sounds like a bully, someone who gets a kick out of hurting others.

Block him from your life as much as possible. Record any meetings and conversations including face to face, email, text and via another person. I hope you will be able to resume your life without him soon.

Mary

[goldilocks]

I have an intervention order ruled against me because I was stalking him out of attraction and admiration. He knows very well that I am attracted to him, and he goes and does this? But to be fair, I caught him driving slowly near me as I was walking near my street once. I looked at him, he looked at me, and then he planted his foot on the accelerator and sped off. I told police, they didn't care, and I told mental health professionals, and I was labelled as being delusional. He is definitely a bully, and I feel he shows many traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It is so hard for me to get on with my life when I put him so high on a pedestal. And If forgot to add to my OP that he murmured under his breath that he wanted to engage with me inappropriately, if you know what I mean. I dont think I can use the three letter word on here. He confuses me and I feel like Im being abused.

I do not understand as to why he would feel the need to abuse me though?

[MissBenthos]

How do you feel that you are being abused? Is it something you have discussed with one of the professionals you’re seeing?

[goldilocks]

Hi MissBenthos,

I am currently seeing a supportive team of professionals, but in spite of this, I struggle to speak with them about this particular individual. I used to be very obsessive over him and I used to speak about him incessantly to other people. I no longer do this as this has drained me mentally. This is probably the reason as to why I struggle to speak to the psychologists and psychiatrists about him. I have tried writing down everything that has happened and I find that this helps. I have to see a forensic psychiatrist next month and so I am preparing a document for them to read regarding my attraction and obsession with him. This individual used to stare at me frequently, even as I was minding my own business, and this gave me the impression that he found me to be attractive. This unknowingly boosted my confidence, even though I have never struggled with body image etc. He behaved this way for many months, and one day he suddenly stopped for a reason unknown. I felt very hurt and that he was playing with my emotions. There were times where I would speak to him and he would respond, then other times he would ignore me and act like I never existed. He has lied about me to his family as has told them that I stalk his young child and that I know what school she attends and that I sit and watch them too. I have never done this, and I do not know what school she attends. I feel like he has changed his mind about me, and I feel his opinion of me changed after I had a panic attack in front of him. I had a panic attack in front of him because I couldn't express my feelings of attraction towards him. This was before I started stalking him. And even though I still love him, he still causes me to experience extreme anxiety. I have also never hated someone as much as I hate this particular individual.

[MissBenthos]

Hi Goldilocks,

What draws you to him? Is there something you aren’t giving to yourself that you feel he can give you? An escape from reality? What are your hobbies? How can you put more focus onto yourself and less on him?

Sometimes we focus on something outside ourselves in the hopes that it can save us from ourself. When truely we are the only person who can help ourself.

What you are describing sounds a lot like an addiction to me, what do you think? Is that how it feels to you?

[goldilocks]

Hi MissBenthos,

I was drawn to his physical appearance. I can't say I was drawn to anything else. I play netball once a week, and I plan on returning to the workforce in order to pay for, and play more games of netball per week (among other things). I am also looking at going to the gym and also starting up water aerobics. I want to get fitter and healthier and I want to meet new people and make friends. I am definitely addicted to this particular individual, and I believe it was his intention all along to make me addicted to him.

[goldilocks]

I forgot to mention that he has taken a photo of me using his mobile phone. He is 51 and I am 21. I confronted him about his behaviour and he denied it completely, in spite of the fact that he sat there and acknowledged his behaviour as it occurred on that particular day. I spoke to his manager about this and he admitted on his behalf that he did take a photo of me.

[MissBenthos]

Hi Goldilocks,

Dig deeper, there’s endless amounts of physically attractive people, what is it about this one?

Good on you for those activities, sounds like a great plan 🙂