What do you do when depression stops you enjoying things anymore

[Elizabeth CP]

I struggle with feelings of low self worth. I manage this by trying to help others and being productive. I try to finish the productive tasks on my to do list before relaxing. This was an effective way of motivating me to get things done which made me feel better and allowed me to relax after without feeling guilty. Because of several years of life stresses and depression this is no longer working. Feeling tired. depressed &/or stressed means I'm less effective & make mistakes leading little time for relaxing thus causing more fatigue etc. 

Things I used to enjoy are now too hard or are associated with bad experiences so it takes too much energy to make myself do things which I know will help. I avoid going out for diner, movies swimming. Holidays feel like a lot of work & I come home exhausted afterwards 

I was doing better but fatigue led to increased depression and wanting to give in

[blondguy]

Hey Elizabeth

Just seeing how you are....(hugs)

Just a couple of things that I miss doing...but working on them...very slowly...

* Snow Skiing....Long walks....going to a concert...seeing a band.....etc etc

I said to my GP at the time....'I miss doing all of those activities' and she responded with 'are you happy?' and I said yes..generally..which I was..

She responded with 'please stop pushing your boundaries so very hard Paul'

I still do push my boundaries Elizabeth but nowhere as hard as I used to...

Camping sounds like a great idea....as long as there is no towing 🙂

Be 'Gentle' to yourself Elizabeth

Kind wishes to you and your husband

Paul

[white knight]

Hi Elizabeth,

"Saving the world" is a common mentality for those with guilt, high workload and those that have never relaxed.

In respect to camping there are some very nice teardrop campers you can tow with even a 4 cylinder car. google "the little guy teardrop". Easy to tow. When we first went camping I couldnt believe the sounds of the birds and the cascading creeks. Things I'm sure your husband will love. Also the teardrops are easy to get around and might be easy for your husband to get to know where things are. They weigh very light. Failing that a small campervan like a Hi-lux so you don't have to tow.

I usually take some magazines with me. I cant just sit and relax, it isn't in me. Also I get the morning newspaper if the shop is nearby.

I really commend your attitude to your issues. You aren't afraid of calling it as it is and to approach your problems in a manner that other are eager to help. Plug away Elizabeth. As time goes by and you get more confident, problems will drift away.

Tony WK

[Elizabeth CP]

Thank you for your kind comments Tony & Paul. I used to love snow skiing. I might try camping again when the weather cools. My car doesn't have a tow ball but at some time it will need replacing. 

[blondguy]

Good Morning Elizabeth

Just saying hi to you and hoping you are doing 'reasonable' well

Please be 'Gentle' to yourself...from the heart....

Here for you....

[Elizabeth CP]

Thank you Paul for you kind comments. I'm rather stressed at the moment expecting 18 people for tea which tends to bring out my 'not good enough 'thoughts so it was nice to get a kind comment from you

[Doolhof]

Hi Elizabeth and Everyone else reading,

You mentioned you used to like ballroom dancing. Is there an opportunity for you to still do that? Would your husband be content to join you at the venue and listen to the music?

Many years ago I had a friend who went blind and he still enjoyed going to the basketball to listen to the game.

About 20 years ago I had an operation on my back which then restricted me to living on the floor for a year or longer as the pain was unbearable.

During that time a girlfriend was doing a world tour. I decided to do a tour of my own! My husband went to the library and borrowed many stories of people's travels. My friend also sent me post cards and emails.

I also had an old foam mattress I used out in the garden, I used to lie there and water the plants while on my side. I also hand sewed a single bed quilt while on my back.

I'm very thankful that these days I can move around and do things!

Sometimes having "Crazy" ideas helps!

Cheers for now from Dools

[Bluey_moon]

My dear Elizabeth, 

I just wanted to send you some love and hugs! 

and to tell you what a wonderful, beautiful kind person you are

xo

[blondguy]

Hi Elizabeth

18 people for tea??? Oh My Lord! How on earth do you do it? Many people I know female or male would be running for the hills...I am now President of 'The ElizabethCP Appreciation Society'

Seriously Elizabeth....I admire and wish I had your strength...I think being stressed and also overthinking would be standard behaviour for anyone serving up for 18....I cant even begin to fathom it

Hoping you are otherwise well as can be expected

kind Thoughts

Paul

[Elizabeth CP]

I feel very undeserving of your comments. Please don't compare yourself to me because you have very different challenges you are working on. My daughter was very supportive acknowledging that she knew I was stressed and helping as much as she could both physically & with positive comments. She reminded me that the pace looked fine & the things which weren't perfect wouldn't be noticed. It was overwhelming when everyone arrived so the house was very crowded. It was too hard to fit everyone at tables so I put the food out on the kitchen benches & let people help themselves. I couldn't cope with anything else. A couple of people helped clean up after main course. After everyone left it took ages to clean up but I did it. 

Didn't sleep too well last night as I kept waking up. Planning on a quieter day today.

[blondguy]

Dear Elizabeth

You daughter is a gem. That type of support is the best there is. I was very fortunate to have an excellent team that helped me with anxiety and I learned very early on that 'comparing' peoples issues is non productive.

I was being issue specific as per having18 people for tea. I was only giving you a sincere compliment.

Well done to you. 🙂

Paul