Unsure how to tell my family

[orange_skies]

Hi ,

I have been suffering depression now for roughly 10  years , only recently diagnosed. I have tried medication but did not like the side effects that was a year ago. I was feeling good after I started regular exercise, But recently I feeling I loosing control and my mind is getting cloudy and black again.

 I dont understand why I am depressed I have beautiful children and a husband a house and a great job.

 But I feel empty all the time its effecting my Marriage and My husband just thinks I can snap out of it and it will be all ok, Not sure how I can tell him it much more serious before its too late. I live in small country town with little to no support fro friends family or counsellors. HELP 

[white knight]

Hi OS, welcome here

The very first step for you is to understand mental illness, accept your condition then treat it correctly. You post says that your husband doesnt understand. I'm afraid you have a way to go also. I dont mean to upset you.

" I dont understand why I am depressed I have beautiful children and a husband a house and a great job."

This statement clearly tells me you have some learning. Depression is an illness often caused by chemical instability in the brain. It often has zilch to do with money, kids, marriage and success but these things can have a strong bearing on your mental stability with your illness.

"Snap out of it" is a comment made usually by the naive. If you consider 80% of society has no understanding at all about the workings of mental illness "snap out of it" is similar to asking a paraplegic to walk. It's just not on. You need to read a lot on the computer in particularly this forum and its thousands of posts, to get up to speed, then ask if your hubby is willing to travel the journey together. He might not. This is not a reason to condemn him, many find this task a tough one to keep focussed on. You might want to seek out a good friend to travel the trip with you.?

Medication is used in conjunction with several other things. Treatment is a mix. Therapy will be difficult for you being so remote. By you do need to visit your doctor and take his advice strongly and regularly. I tried 12 meds before I got the right one. If you consider it takes around 6 weeks for emds to start working then wean yourself off them then try another that 3 years of trying. So you need to be resilient and just not give up. Once you have found the right one you will stick yo it. Your partner will see a difference.

Accept your condition will be lifelong Sometimes you can recover- not often. It's more about management rather than cure.

Read read read.

Tony WK

[Chris_B]

Hi orange skies, welcome to the forums. You'll find many people here who can understand what you're going through.

Have a look through some of the threads below and feel free to reach out to our other members:

My description of depression to my family and friends

 How do I explain?

Unsupportive husband

 New and not sure how to get partner to understand anxiety

See also our Have The Conversation resources.

[Silverorchid77]

Hello,

First of all, I strongly recommend that you take your medication again. For a lot of people the side effects don't hang around forever and also you could be on the wrong medication, there are several different types, it depends on the individual but it's worth giving it another go.

Depression can also affect anyone. You could have everything in the world and still have a mental illness. Everyone is different and that's okay.

It's clear that your husband doesn't know much about depression and mental illnesses. The best thing to do is to sit down and have a conversation with him about what is going on. I know it's hard, but in the long run you'll be glad you did. If you need help talking to him, there are fact sheets you can download on this site that helps to explain depression. Although be open to the possibility of him not understanding and that's okay, there are online counsellors available here if you need someone to talk to.

I wish you the best of luck,

Brooke. xx