dear MAT, it's obvious that you finding life really stuff, andwhen depression has crabbed you around your ankles, won't let you go, has messed up everything that is physically and mentally not normally possible, but now has turned into reality, it has the capacity of crippling your whole life, and ruined our life, then we do understand, why, because it simply has/or still happened to us.
We look out the window and what do we see, the sun, a beautiful morning with the birds scurrying around the ground, fossicking for worms, cleaning and feeding their young chicks, no, even though they maybe it makes no difference, it never registers to us, because we really see nothing, just feel doom and gloom.
So to make any effort to get any help and/or treatment is furtherest from our mind, we don't have the strength to even consider this, and more so, we don't care, it's all too much and believe that no one could ever help us, and why would they ever want to do this anyway.
Well there are many people who want to lift you out of this drain, either professionals, family, friends or even counsellors who work for free, and then of course all of us on this site, and those that reply or including those that read your comment and perhaps don't know how to approach replying to you, but they are still there listening and hoping that all the answers can help them out of their own depression.
So how you feel and what is said to you back and forward does intrigue so many people, who really feel for you about how and why you are suffering from this terrible illness.
Please I hope that you can reply back to us, so that we can try and help you even more, but more so to know how any progress has/or if been made. L Geoff. x
