Unable to cope with negative feelings when alone Feel worthless

[Elizabeth CP]

Sorry I should be able to cope better than I am. I am overwhelmed when I am caring for my husband & need a break but then when he is out I just waste time & feel terrible. When I'm not productive or helping I'm worthless. I need to get a break so I can recover from fatigue but any break just allows the negative thoughts to take over so I feel worse. Most people here are much worse off than me so I shouldn't whinge. My councillor has been sick & so I have missed several planned sessions which hasn't helped

[White_Rose]

It sounds to me as though you do have good reason to be stressed. However happy you are at the prospect of seeing your son and family, there is always a degree of stress because of the preparations that need to be made. Add that to the list of other activities you described and stressed seems too gentle a word. Just because you are happy to do these doesn't mean you are necessarily going to remain calm. I think I would be a gibbering wreck.

When you say your psych talked you into more ADs, do you mean in addition to some you are already taking, or going back onto ADs? I had horrendous side effects with ADs. Eventually I stopped taking them, long story, but discovered I function badly without some help. So my GP prescribed an AD from the tricyclic group of drugs, one of the first on the market. This drug not only works very well for me but has only one minor side effect. I am so pleased about it. And I feel so much better. I hope this AD will help you.

Yes, time to yourself is vital. We can only go so long without respite before we end up on the floor. What happens in the evening? Can you find a space and time to be on your own, even for a short while?

Mary

[Elizabeth CP]

I stopped taking ADs due to side effects & have been reluctant to try any more. I tried several a year or two ago. Hence anxiety about trying them again,

[blondguy]

Hi Elizabeth

Spiking anxiety was also a pain for me too...dreadful feeling.

I understand everyone is different but you do appear to be very very busy. You know this anyway Elizabeth but just my very humble opinion...If you can..in anyway....I hope you can find time out...your plate is overflowing here.

I dont blame you for being 'hesitant' to try any more meds ....just my history.....My 20th year taking one of the best sellers of AD's...It has provided (just for me) the building blocks that I needed to enable healing not even mentioning the 'Clarity' it gave to me....(yes...and one common side effect)

I hope your weekend is better for you Elizabeth. Nice to talk to you anyway 🙂

Paul

[White_Rose]

Yes I thought that may be the case. Well you are talking to someone from the same process  I tried heaps of ADs and put up with horrid side effects because I thought the AD was helping me. They didn't help much because to have what the psych called a 'therapeutic dose' would have had me climbing the walls.

So it seems no SSRI or SSNI drugs for me is the way to go. Ask about the tricyclic meds. I am so pleased I am taking something that helps me without driving me crazy in some other way.

I guess the only way you are going to find out is to try them. Can you start on a small dose? That's what the doctor gave me, and gradually upped the dose until I reached the amount required. It was a good way I felt because if I was going to have a reaction it would reveal itself on the lower amount and I would be able to stop taking them more easily.

Mary

[Elizabeth CP]

I am starting small initially to avoid side effects & allow me to stop more easily if required. Problem is this is unlikely to help my depression. The other problem is that I am anxious about taking meds & also because of all that is happening which has created increased sleep problems so distinguishing side effects from other problems & identifying positive changes due to ADs will be difficult. I have tried tricyclics in the past but stopped because I was too tired in the morning & noticed no change in depression. 

The only tablet that had any +ve impact on mood worked by increasing motivation. The problem was it caused me to become very agitated if I wasn't doing anything úseful'It got to the point where I couldn't sit still long enough to eat a meal & I was struggling to complete anything because I couldn't stay still long enough so I had to stop taking them. 

I wish I could have a period of stability so I can get myself on track & stay there long enough to see what works for me. 

[Elizabeth CP]

Sorry I wrote a reply but it hasn't gone through. I am on an extremely low dose to decrease risk of side effects & limit problems getting off the AD. I have not had any benefit from ADs in the past so I am unsure how it will help & very nervous re side effects. I am concerned how to tyell if there is a +ve effect from the AD or the normal up & downs experienced. Also how to distinguish side effects from normal problems. One side effect I had was increased anxiety. This became clear it was linked to the AD as it was so bad- couldn't sit down long enough to eat a meal & it disappeared when the AD was stopped. At the time I started these ADs my anxiety levels were rising due to stress from everything going on which makes it harder to tell what is side effect  & what is due to current stress. suggestions on how to manage this welcomed. 

Why can't I just enjoy having family visiting instead of stressing about everything and feeling not good enough & then feeling bad for feeling like this.