Depression

Depression affects people in Australia every day. Share your own story and learn about other member’s experiences with depression.

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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
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Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
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I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
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Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

All discussions

lard i know I'm not the only one
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I've read and heard other stories which are the same but it is hard not to feel alone. pressures of work and family build up. lately i feel i need to scream at boss or wife and say i'm done and just walk.i get treated like I'm stupid and don't know w... View more

I've read and heard other stories which are the same but it is hard not to feel alone. pressures of work and family build up. lately i feel i need to scream at boss or wife and say i'm done and just walk.i get treated like I'm stupid and don't know what I'm talking about. I've been doing my job for 18 yrs but yet i get 2nd guessed at every turn. even my own family practically disregards my input. my mind doesn't stop from these pressures. i feel invisible I'm one to bottle up rather than confrontation even though my facade is the opposite. i feel i can't tell my family as my man hood and strength will be taken away. i thought i could push through this but the last 12 months its just got harder. i know i haven't got it the worst, the problem is talking, admitting and seeking advice/help. the confidence to talk face to face about it. even now i know what i want to write but its just not coming out.......... thanks for the whinging space

Richard1 Enough of depression -im moving
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I have lived with depression for probably most of my life. At school i had difficulties with bullying and social exclusion and these issues have seemed to follow me into adulthood employment and friendships. Had an ex wife who treated me poorly durin... View more

I have lived with depression for probably most of my life. At school i had difficulties with bullying and social exclusion and these issues have seemed to follow me into adulthood employment and friendships. Had an ex wife who treated me poorly during our marriage and then turned nasty when the gravy train ended. Into my fifties, i have decided enough is enough. I feel totally invisible to my social network - they either totally ignore me or only want to know me when there is some sort of gain or advantage for them. Or they only want to know me to tell me their problems because im a good listener. But no one really knows how i feel or cares. Around the time of my last birthday, i made the decision that i have had enough of feeling depressed because people treat me poorly and that im going to move interstate to try something new. Things cant be any different where im going so i feel i may as well give it a try. So sick of excuses of people being busy in their lives or they didnt mean not to include you in a group invite and not to take it personally. So tired of employment rejection. So tired of family members taking me for granted and only wanting to know me when they can get some sort of financial benefit. So bye everyone. They say you shouldnt burn bridges but most bridges start from opposite sides of the river and meet in the middle. No bridge is built in one direction all the time. So not really burning any bridges. I have cut my ties with everyone - but no one has even really noticed. Because no one actually gives a damn. So bye bye farewell. You wont have me around to punch like a punching bag any more.

kath1 When all I can do is cry
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And that's been me for the last 5 years. Tonight has been a little over 4 hours of crying. Mostly whilst sitting on my shower floor. My story is a long one.More recently though the past year has finally caught up with me. 2015 , January I took my nep... View more

And that's been me for the last 5 years. Tonight has been a little over 4 hours of crying. Mostly whilst sitting on my shower floor. My story is a long one.More recently though the past year has finally caught up with me. 2015 , January I took my nephews to the safety of their nans house after their mother had lost her temper after numerous times and had the boys screaming and running for help. I got a phone call from one of my nephews who was 12 and begging for help. This night was a night i will never forget as i never knew the extent of the emotional and physical abuse occuring. What i did that night was for my nephews and their safety what resulted was my whole family gunning for my blood. I had turned on blood in their eyes and that was that. The following months would be consumed by their hatred towards me. The police even taking an avo out on my own mother because of her outburst towards me in public that would leave me so very shaken for months. Even to this day i am petrified to go anywhere incase i run into any of them. It felt like 40 of them against me. Vulgar threats and outbursts and public slandering has left me so hurt and broken but i fought everyday to hold my head high. Family court decided that my nephews were better off with their dad. A decision i was happy with. This did not and still has not given me peace from them. The most heartbreaking thing was my pop. The one man i loved and cared for was turned against me and i have spent the last year worrying over his health and if i will ever get the chance to say i love you to him ever again. A long with this happening I also resigned from a mangers postion due to the fact i was shaking everytime I worked and was consumed with fear. My boss at the time was not understanding and tried to demote me to eliminate my problem I guess. The last tiny bit of confidence i had he took in one meeting that lasted 25mins max. I have 4 boys who i need to remain strong for. They rarely see my tears or my struggle. It has been 6 months since i quit. And i am 4 months into my counselling diploma. I am trying to remain strong. But tonight after finding out yet again someone is talking about me and needing to defend who i am.. i crumbled.... and this time hard I am so scared of the overwhelming feeling to just give up. I don't know how to get the right help . I don't know where to even start. It is all just so overwhelming.am defeated. Exhausted and so very confused . And most of all scared.

20mg Has anyone else experienced this...?
  • replies: 11

Once in a blue moon I realise that I am real, feel real and feel alive and literally have a lot of free space in my head. The last two times it lasted 10-15 minutes, depends how much I try to keep the feeling in my head. But after 15 minutes the feel... View more

Once in a blue moon I realise that I am real, feel real and feel alive and literally have a lot of free space in my head. The last two times it lasted 10-15 minutes, depends how much I try to keep the feeling in my head. But after 15 minutes the feeling is almost completely invisible to me and I can barely remember how I felt in that period. I experienced this scenario 3-4 times over 3 years. The first time was when I arrived home from an operation on my abdominal region, where I realised that I am depressed and worrying too much in life. I saw a physciatrist and was diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression, where I am currently still visiting and on prescribed SSRI.​ As anyone felt like this, and is this even a real feeling or am I cooked?

Mares73 List of triggers for depression
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Hi all After 2 years of being on the forums I have noticed several major things- 1) depression can affect anyone 2) however more often than not there is a trigger preceding it ie family, financial, work, health & other indicators 3) many people strug... View more

Hi all After 2 years of being on the forums I have noticed several major things- 1) depression can affect anyone 2) however more often than not there is a trigger preceding it ie family, financial, work, health & other indicators 3) many people struggle with the diagnosis initially 4) some have a predisposition to depression 5) some have depression due to external factors, others may be genetically disposed, others may suffer seemingly "out of nowhere". From my own humble understanding & making generalisations, it would appear most often that preceding events contribute greatly to depression. This includes grief, low confidence, high self expectations which cause us to feel badly about ourselves if we don't meet our expectations, life events & situations that distress us. Poor confidence, a tendency to isolate ourselves & guilt about accepting we have an illness all contribute to our poor self esteem. We are our own worst critics. We internalise our negative sense of self. We struggle with accepting our diagnosis-often thinking it is a negative reflection of our selves. Thats just a few observations. In understanding & accepting ourselves others may have ideas. After all we each battle to understand & live with our illness. please add your thoughts. Mares X

Vita16 2016 - what a start...diagnosis of depression
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If you had said to me a week ago I’d be posting this on public forum I would have laughed at you. Really I would have. On the ground type laughing. But here it is, the start of my journey to recovery. I’m a middle aged male, married, good kids, pets,... View more

If you had said to me a week ago I’d be posting this on public forum I would have laughed at you. Really I would have. On the ground type laughing. But here it is, the start of my journey to recovery. I’m a middle aged male, married, good kids, pets, educated, secure job, and house – on the surface living the middle class Australian dream. What on earth have I got to complain about right? Well, for years I had a sense of loathing that even extended to shaving in the shower as to avoid seeing my reflection in the mirror. I had wondered ‘what if I wasn’t here?’ no one would really notice. Sure, my family would be devastated, but as everyone does when they lose a loved one they’ll move on, and life returns to normal...after the first anniversary I would just become a sad, distant memory. This despair escalated in late 2015 with work pressures ramping up. I was missing deadlines, yet excelling in managing some urgent situations so it was excused. I had seen my GP a few times over the preceding months, and was desperate for him to ask me how I was going...On reflection, I probably would have lied anyway. I reached out to a psychologist under the guise of wanting to be a better person - she immediately saw through my well-rehearsed front. For the first time ever really, someone saw the real me. Saw the fatigue. Saw the deep sadness and pain that was my everyday life. I eventually relayed most of the above, crying half the time in front of a woman I’d only minutes ago previously just met. She also convinced me to revisit my GP. She made me promise to her that I stay safe. Why would she need to do that? My GP was shocked that I had held off seeking help for so long, and he quickly, firmly, and compassionately arrived at a diagnosis of depression. Again I was asked to stay safe – why do people keep saying that? 6-7 weeks on and it is still tough going. The medication has kicked in; am sleeping a lot better, am calmer. My breathing rate has decreased, and I don’t feel like I am in a constant state of ‘fight or flight’. Gave up caffeine cold turkey. I had a plan to keep all of this from my wife and friends. My psychologist was having none that nonsense. So clearly trusting people was a big leap for me. But I have done it. I (now) understand it is ‘ok not to be ok’. I have an illness that for whatever reason chose me, and I won’t let it define or limit who I am. Oh, and by the way, I am indeed depressed. Vita (latin for ‘life)

Guest_1055 Worthless
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Hello I am wanting to know if anyone else feels just worthless. And what they did about that feeling that creeps inside of you. Thanks

Hello I am wanting to know if anyone else feels just worthless. And what they did about that feeling that creeps inside of you. Thanks

hope4joy Feeling elated and happy!
  • replies: 15

Hi all, I've been feeling so very down for a good few months and today i've had a momentary release - something so beautiful and I want to share that because you guys on this forum are really important to me. Tonight I came runner up in an art award,... View more

Hi all, I've been feeling so very down for a good few months and today i've had a momentary release - something so beautiful and I want to share that because you guys on this forum are really important to me. Tonight I came runner up in an art award, for a public artwork i made, and i'm so excited!!!! it is so empowering to have people acknowledge my ideas and my work. The piece was about a prominent female historical figure who overcame significant obstacles and opposition to excel in her field in what was a male-dominated profession at that time. It was also in support of marriage equality. And lastly is was about following one's passions and dreams - not waiting - and having the courage to do this. It was kind of a statement about me returning to uni to do visual art, and having the courage to pursue an occupation in the arts. But i guess what led me to post here is to share that even when everything feels bleak and hopeless, things can happen that light up our joy, even if they are only fleeting. And amazingly when I accepted the award I chose to make a little speech into the microphone (eek, first time!) and I radiated my joy and passion for art... in fact i wanted to keep talking but decided a few mins was enough... even though i am in the middle of a horrible depression episode and have no confidence in myself... it was truly remarkable! Kindness and joy to you all, Christina

white knight Depression and the "snowball effect"
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Imagine you are in a room with 9 other strangers. All of you have mental or emotional struggles of various types. You have all had different lives with different backgrounds. You sit there wondering what to say. One person begins to ramble on about n... View more

Imagine you are in a room with 9 other strangers. All of you have mental or emotional struggles of various types. You have all had different lives with different backgrounds. You sit there wondering what to say. One person begins to ramble on about nothing in particular…not making much sense hence no replies are given. One young woman begins to cry. She becomes visibly distraught and at that point some of the others begin to comfort her. As she calms she mentions why she got upset and others begin to reply ….the snowball of interaction has begun to grow. The conversations extend to nearly all, some prefer to keep quiet but they are at least- listening. We’ve often mentioned in this forum the need to get the “mix” right. The mix being proper diagnosis, the correct medications and the right doses, a calmer environment, a more suitable career, better working hours, a shield against the cruel and toxic and professional ongoing treatment. This forum could be said to be in that “mix”. Why? Because not only can some ask questions and get a reply quickly but you are contributing to the gathering of this little community with the same ambitions, to help each other find ways to cope. I would suggest however, that your participation to give to others comfort in few words with a reply is not only helping them….it is a tonic for YOU. Since being on this forum I’ve found it an important part of my own therapy. Giving to others in the form of referring to your own life’s struggles, your childhood or your genes can be such a relief for those searching for answers. By replying or even pressing that red button to say it has helped you, adds to that snowball of support and you help it grow. You might not realise how significant a few words could be. Today I read in a thread I started replies from two contributors on this site, words of thankyou that my own words helped them in their journeys. Its all part of that snowball and its tendency to grow when others chip in. And that snowball helps you the thread starter as much as the person reading it. There is no difference to anyone here, we are all one snowball with our arms reaching out with open arm for others to jump in. That my friends....is the snowball effect. For some, a vital addition to the "mix" required for a healthy mind. You are reading this....welcome to the snowball. A world where your contribution however small adds to its ability to keep going. Tony WK

Daniel4Louise16 I get jealous of people as some have great lives and I wish I had their luck
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I've been depressed lately and it's just frustrating. I've had illness and it's taken me 2yrs and it's taking so slow. I had to give up my job and now I need to find another job but I'm not sure what to do. With my age I'm afraid that I'm to old for ... View more

I've been depressed lately and it's just frustrating. I've had illness and it's taken me 2yrs and it's taking so slow. I had to give up my job and now I need to find another job but I'm not sure what to do. With my age I'm afraid that I'm to old for somebody to take me on. I'm just upset as most of my so called friends don't call me or chat to me. Which is sad but what can I do. I think I let my partner down my family don't chat to me or ask how I'm doing which at time hurts. I'm thinking of moving to another city but with no employment or $$$$$ it's hard and frustrating. I get jealous of people as some have great life's and I wish I had there luck.