Hello all,
I am new here so apologies if this situation has been covered before. I am no stranger to anxiety and depression however and neither is my ex boyfriend who I have been forced to continue living with due to our lease for the last three months after he ended our 3+ year relationship.
There were many factors and valid reasons for him to end it. I accept that now and aspects of his life he has to learn to deal with himself separate to me. What concerns me is (in a nutshell) he’s had ongoing problems keeping jobs due to many different circumstance and as a result I was the sole breadwinner (it happens). It went on in this cycle for almost 2 years. During which he encouraged me to find my current psych and stay on the meds during tough times. He was my cheerleader and biggest support system but due to his lack of finances put his own mental health on the back burner as much as I tried to encourage him to seek assistance.
Now, many awkward and emotional arguments later I am moving out of the house we shared together as the lease is coming to an end and he triggered my anxiety very badly when he repeatedly brought his new partner over to the house when I wasn’t there and shoved the new “relationship” in my face. It made me physically sick I was so anxious. I begged him to respect my boundaries. That’s over now but the damage is done. My boundaries weren’t respected.
He had told me to move out of the house (as I had the funds to and cause the house was perfect for him and his young daughter) so with the encouragement of his friends I am.
Why I am here today however is he is now starting down the barrel of no new job, owes me a great deal of money and won’t be able to afford the rent on his own so now needs to move out himself. He has a new partner that he saw after finding out he didn’t get the job he hoped would save him and came home and yelled at me that I am to blame for “putting him in this situation” which of course I didn’t and don’t take personally and demanded he will not pay me a cent back till he pays back others who are helping him out now.
He’s drinking every day. An unhealthy amount and I know it’s best for me to leave - for both of our sakes and mental health but I worry he’s not getting the help he needs. Blaming others for his situation is a bad sign and I know you can’t help someone who doesn’t want help and it’s best for me to not engage with that behaviour but is there anything else I could do that won’t trigger him to help?
